


fatal attraction

by dayskz



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, But don't be fooled, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Kidnapping, Lovers to enemies to lovers, M/M, Rescue Missions, all of them are agents except jinhyuk and wooseok, he is needed for the plot to work, i believe this is not as angsty as u think, it's angsty but it gets better, just wanna write a gyulcat spy fic, no wooseok doesn't die, one-sided yohangyul, seungseok ex-lovers(?)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22256587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayskz/pseuds/dayskz
Summary: As a secret agent for NIS Korea, nothing brings Hangyul to his knees— that is, until he falls for the shy, unassuming tech geek, Kim Wooseok.But things,some things, are not always as they seem.(“Take care, Gyul.” Hangyul had no idea this could have been the last time he ever saw Wooseok alive. “I love you. You know that right?”)
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Kim Wooseok | Wooshin/Lee Hangyul, Kim Yohan/Lee Hangyul, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 52
Kudos: 94





	1. in black ink

**Author's Note:**

> eyy this is the first fanfic i've ever written (ao3 debut wuhoo!!!!) and english isn't my first language, but i hope i wrote it well. this is inspired of a book i've read months ago, but of course i changed parts of the plot to suit my characters. i hope you enjoy <3
> 
> ps. lots of flashback scenes, i hope u don't mind. also if i missed a tag, pls don't hesitate to tell me!

Lee Hangyul. 25. An agent for the National Intelligence Service in South Korea. It’s a position he’s held for three years now, ever since transferring from Incheon to Seoul. And he’s been operating in Seoul ever since.

Today is just like any other day as he readies himself to head down to the agency that’s about a ten minute-drive away from where he lives. He puts on his black padded jacket on top of his white long sleeves, a dark brown necktie messily hanging around his collar. He tries to fix his necktie, but he miserably fails for the nth time anyway; he just can’t seem to get it.

So he opts to leave it be and dust his black slacks instead. He combs his black hair backwards using his fingers, looking at his reflection one last time in the wide mirror at the wall of his living room, before he makes his way to his apartment's entrance.

Wooseok, his boyfriend and roommate of nine months, who’s three years older than him by the way, suddenly opens the door of his bedroom, quickly and forcefully for that matter. He must have just woken up, Hangyul concludes, as Wooseok is still yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his own eyes.

“Morning, hyung,” Hangyul gleefully greets as he slips into his shoes near the entrance. “I’m heading off to work.”

“Hold up a sec! At least let me say goodbye!” Wooseok rushes out to the living room and to him, the first two buttons on his white button-up still open, and his hair, well, still a mess of bed hair poking out in all directions.

“You’re so dramatic,” Hangyul chuckles at him, “You act like I’ll be gone an age.”

“Hey,” Wooseok slides his arms around the younger’s waist, “If we don’t, you know, take the time to treat our relationship seriously in these little moments, we’ll lose the big ones, too.”

It’s a short and sweet interaction, seemingly barely worth remembering. But to Hangyul, right at this moment, it’s everything.

It’s made all the simpler by the fact that Wooseok is completely unaware of his job and the dangers each day brings with it.

He gives Wooseok the biggest genuine smile he could muster and brings the latter’s arms to his shoulders, as he proceeds to hug him by the waist. He places a quick soft kiss on the latter’s forehead, on both of his cheeks, on his nose, on his chin, and finally, on his lips. “Just tell me you’ll miss me.”

Wooseok scoffs at him and softly punches his chest, smiling as he pulls away from him to grab a food from inside the refrigerator in the kitchen. “Whatever,” he says as he hands him something that seems like a tupperwear wrapped with yellow cloth. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t have breakfast again. I made that last night for you. Just heat it up with the microwave at your office.”

Hangyul can’t help but feel his heart leap out of chest at his boyfriend’s gesture. It’s things like this that makes him fall head-over-heels for him – his kindness, thoughtfulness, and gentle nature – aside, of course, from the fact that he’s the prettiest and most charming man in the country (and the whole world, Hangyul insists) he has ever seen. 

And Wooseok is his.

Hangyul wonders how many nations he must have had saved in his past life. If the concept of reincarnation is true at all.

He accepts the bundle with a smile and pulls Wooseok into a hug again. “Thanks, love,” he pauses to give him a peck on the lips, “Should I not go to work after all?”

Wooseok chuckles as he hugs him back, and buries his face on his shoulders, with Hangyul making a mental note that his laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard. (Outside of the bedroom, of course.) “Stop kidding around, Gyul. I know this job of yours is really important to you, and you can’t afford to lose it, so no.”

“But you’re more important,” Hangyul pouts, “the most important, to be honest.”

Wooseok rolls his eyes at his remark as he pulls back to look at his face, a smile forming on his lips. “I’d really like to kiss the hell out of that pout, but you actually have to move your ass now if you don’t want to get caught up in traffic and be late.”

Hangyul pouts even more, staring into the pretty doe eyes in front of him. He would literally love to just stay in this moment, with Wooseok in his arms. To not go to work and just… be with the love of his life. “You forgot to wear your glasses.”

“I had to actually run right after I woke up because I thought you left without saying goodbye!” Wooseok retorts, his already large eyes even getting bigger.

Hangyul can’t help but pinch both of Wooseok’s cheeks at the sight. He’s really whipped for the cutest and the most adorable human being in front of him; he knows it, and he can’t be any happier than to spend his moments with him and have him by his side all the time. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Wooseok whines at him as his cheeks are being stretched out, but makes no effort to stop Hangyul; it doesn’t really hurt.

“I decided not to disturb your sleep. You know, you looked so peaceful sleeping there in my bed,” he teases, “so beautiful, in fact.”

Wooseok rolls his eyes but his cheeks still turned a shade of pink. He proceeds to pinch Hangyul’s cheeks, too, making sure to do it a little harder.

Or maybe not so little.

“Aw-ouch! That hurts!” Hangyul winces as he lets go of Wooseok's cheeks to rub his own with his palms in efforts of making the pain go away. “What’s that for?”

“That’s for pinching me, of course,” Wooseok says matter-of-factly, taking a moment after to look at him from head to toe. “And for doing your necktie wrong again,” Wooseok sighs as his hands come up to fix his necktie, with Hangyul watching his boyfriend’s slender fingers do the magic for him. “When will you ever get it right?”

Hangyul pouts again, and Wooseok tries to suppress his laugh at his boyfriend’s near-to-crying expression. “It’s just so difficult! It’s not my fault you literally got blessed with god hands and I wasn’t.”

“God hands?” Wooseok laughs, not being able to hold it in anymore. “Fixing a necktie means me having god hands?”

“Yeah? Why is that so funny?” Hangyul smiles as he watches him laugh, “It’s really difficult, hyung, I swear!”

Wooseok calms himself down before speaking up again, “Are you sure you’re 25?”

“Of course, I am!”

“No, you’re five,” Wooseok giggles.

Hangyul pouts even harder, making a sound that resembles a ‘hmph’ as he raises his nose up to his right, his gaze in the same direction before momentarily flicking back at Wooseok, then right back to his right.

Wooseok smiles as he sighs at his boyfriend’s antics. “If it makes you feel any better, you have god hands, too.”

“Oh?” Hangyul gently pulls him by the waist. He raises one of his eyebrows, his own eyes shining in mischief as he looks at Wooseok’s eyes, and then down to Wooseok’s lips. “I do?”

Wooseok realizes what he might have meant, and he feels the flush creep up his face again. He doesn’t know why he just had to blurt it out, but seeing Hangyul all sad and pouty makes him want to cheer him up. Now he swears he heard Hangyul’s voice go at least an octave deeper with that _‘I do?’_ and he doesn’t want to make an even bigger mess of things after he scolded him for his necktie, so he just simply nods.

A small smirk forms at Hangyul’s lips as he slowly inches his face closer to Wooseok’s before dipping to kiss him, the latter meeting him halfway through. It’s quick and soft at first, each kiss lingering just a little bit longer than the one before it.

It builds up, slowly turning into a heated, passionate kiss, as Wooseok feels his back touch the wall. His left hand holds on to Hangyul’s broad shoulder for support, and his other hand tangles into Hangyul’s hair, subtly pulling him closer for more. It might have gone into a full make-out session if not for Hangyul’s phone ringing, followed by three consecutive message notification ringtones, interrupting them in their business.

Hangyul groans as he takes out the phone from his back pocket, his left hand still on one side of Wooseok’s waist.

“It’s my boss. Guess I have to go now,” he says as he looks back from the phone screen to Wooseok.

He can’t help but admire the way Wooseok’s red, swollen lips are parted. The way his pupils are dilated. The way his face is flushed. The way his breathing is heavy. He looks so beautiful against him like that, even with his ultra messy hair, and he feels his heart skip a beat when Wooseok clears his throat and gives him the prettiest smile he won’t ever get tired of seeing.

“I see, go now,” Wooseok breathes as he tries to compose himself again, kissing him one last time before letting go. “Take care, Gyul.”

Hangyul has just stepped out of his car parked at the agency’s parking lot, when he feels a sudden prolonged vibration on his wrist. The silent alarm on his watch goes off. _Shit._

Break-ins are a nightmare even to the most prepared, but the bad news is worsened by three extenuating circumstances: One, _whoever the intruder is_ got through his apartment’s security system, which makes them more adept than the average criminal. Two, the majority of the NIS doesn’t even know where Hangyul lives. As far as the higher-ups are concerned, he’s still living in a flat a few miles east of his real apartment. Just a small way to avoid the surveillance that usually comes with his line of work, Hangyul reasons. Now, it’s blowing up in his face.

Lastly, and most importantly, three, Wooseok is there. Wooseok is in his apartment, and he has no way of knowing the kind of danger he's in.

Traffic is too jammed to have any hope of getting back there quickly on wheels. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ He mentally curses over and over again, as he realizes he’s left with only one option. He runs. Precious minutes tick by as he dodges pedestrians, his heart pounding as hard as his footsteps on the pavement. He ignores the open-mouthed stares and exclamations. The sudden loud beeps of car horns.

He can only think of Wooseok.

One year ago, Hangyul catches himself staring at the mirror above the bar.

For a dive bar tucked in between a bookstore and a women’s clothing store in Hongdae, the place has an impressive selection of liquor, he notes. Bottles line the shelves, and the mumble of conversation dulls the sound of traffic outside. On weekends, it’s typically packed with financial types in stiff navy suits – which is why he stopped by after 9PM on a random weekday night.

He slips onto a barstool, wedging his body into the closest thing to a dark corner. He sighs. _Peace at last._

He orders red wine for a little liquid peace, reasons being that it’s classy and elegant, and he just feels like drinking it tonight. He takes a sip and pretends to care about the football game playing on the screen above. _Drink, relax, and unwind,_ he mentally keeps on repeating to himself. _Blend in, don’t be memorable._

He guesses this uneventful alone time counts as fulfilling his usual post-assignment checklist. But right as he downs the last of his drink, _something_ calls out to him.

It feels like a whisper across his senses. The sensation of someone staring at him. The kind of feeling that sends his instincts buzzing and his hand reaching for the gun strapped to his side.

_What the…?_

His gaze slips over the top-shelf liquor until he sees a face in the mirror’s reflection. There’s a man standing at the opposite end of the bar. And he’s looking at him.

Dark hair, doe eyes, black-rimmed round glasses, glass skin, petite body. Wearing a grey turtle-neck beneath a black jacket, and with a scarf around his neck. _Sexy as hell_ , Hangyul might want to add.

A voice in his head begs him to forget protocol and call him over. To take this beautiful stranger somewhere private and strip him bare. To run his hands over the slender waist he can make out under his clothes. To forget the cool air out tonight.

His nerve endings _burn._

Hangyul realizes he has been staring at the man’s reflection for quite a while. The man’s magnetic, and he could not even break eye contact if he tries. This is surely not his usual reaction. He enjoys sex, sure, but he knows he rarely abandon common sense to get it. Suddenly, however, he craves it. With this complete stranger.

The man approaches him at a slow, confident lope, and Hangyul can hear his own heart beating like thunder in his ears. He continues gazing at the mirror as he watches the man sit down on the stool next to him, a twinkle playing in the other’s clever eyes.

“I’m Kim Wooseok.”

His voice is like smooth bourbon, elegant and intoxicating – the kind of voice that washes over him, warming him, filling him to the brim.

Hangyul turns his gaze to him but stays silent for a second, debating on what to do. Just as he’s about to open his mouth to answer him, Wooseok asks, “you?”

“I’m Hangyul.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Hangyul,” Wooseok smiles gently, “I hope I’m not coming on too strong.”

“Maybe a little more forward than I’m used to, but I’m not complaining,” Hangyul smiles. “You thirsty?” He asks with the intention of offering to buy him a drink, of course, but Wooseok’s gaze slides to him, and then slides down. Hangyul smirks to himself; the man beside him is not even bothering to hide his interest. 

“Are we really talking about drinks, Hangyul?”

Hangyul looks at the other’s doe eyes staring back at him. Staring like he has just asked the most innocent question ever. “That’s up to you." It looks like Hangyul has found something other than a drink to take his mind off work tonight.

Wooseok smiles, and it literally _lights up his entire face_ , Hangyul mentally remarks. The sight detonating something deep within him.

“Thirsty, yeah,” Wooseok pauses for a second, “But not for a drink… How about we head back to your place and get to know each other better?”

“I haven’t paid my tab yet.”

Wooseok reaches into his back pocket and takes out a wallet. He drops a bill on the counter and settles Hangyul’s glass on top of it. “You’re paid up,” he says as he smiles at him. “We can go when you’re ready.”

Hangyul can’t help but chuckle at the other’s action. His job makes random hookups riskier than usual, not to mention Dangerous with the capital D, but something about this guy makes him want to throw caution to the wind.

If he turns him down, take it slow and talk, will he spend the rest of his life regretting it?

Hangyul looks at him in the eyes, and right then and there, he gets his answer.

“You can take the lead,” Hangyul says after a short silence.

“Really?”

“Just until I get your clothes off,” Hangyul smirks lightly, “And then I’ll be in charge.”

(It doesn’t take long to get back to his place and under the covers. True to his word, the second Wooseok’s clothes come off, Hangyul takes command. Hangyul pins his wrists above his head with one hand, the one gently gripping his waist. “I’m in control tonight,” he whispers to Wooseok’s ear, making the latter shiver as he drops open-mouthed kisses beneath his jaw and down his neck, “understood?”

“Yes... please,” Wooseok breathes as the younger goes to straddle him, his hips flush against his. They meld together in the moment, illuminated only by the flickering light of the room. The night is seemingly endless as it is, each of them ready for more the second things seem as though they’re about to slow down.)

(Wooseok lets out a loud moan as he shivers, his hands reaching up to dig at the younger’s back. The sound – half longing, half desperation, with Hangyul’s name mixed somewhere in between – sends the younger into a tailspin as he captures his lips in a kiss.

This kind of thing – hot, passionate sex with a near-stranger – isn’t new to Hangyul. What _is_ new is the strange feeling bubbling up in his chest. Like, maybe, he wants this to be _more than_ just sex.

“You're amazing,” Wooseok hums as he snuggles his way into the younger’s warm embrace.

That night, neither one of them remembers who fell asleep first.

  


Maybe it doesn’t matter.)

Three days after that night is when he really first got to _know_ Wooseok.

He has asked Wooseok out to a date along Han river the morning after said three days of self-debate and staring at the latter’s KakaoTalk ID. Fortunately, Wooseok hasn’t complained yet at being dragged out for lunch and a walk around the water. And for being asked out on that same day.

Hangyul is nervous, he really is, for some damn reason. He is trying so hard to impress Wooseok that he doesn’t even know if he’ll flirt shamelessly, or play it cool, or let the other take the lead. He’s about to go crazy. All because of one man.

“I gotta say, I didn’t expect to be asked out again soon,” Wooseok gently smiles as he takes in the scenery in front of him while they walk together.

“Yeah, well,” Hangyul clears his throat, “I had a decent enough time the other night.”

“What,” Wooseok snorts, “you’re saying you didn’t miss my killer smile?”

Hangyul contemplates on what to answer as he stares at the person beside him who’s currently beaming at him with a bright smile on his face. He can’t let himself get too _close_ with the guy. _It’s too dangerous_.

“Let’s just skip the cute stuff,” Hangyul chuckles. “Fair enough?”

“Fair, I guess,” Wooseok turns his head to look at the river. “Still, it was sweet of you to cover the meal.”

Hangyul hums before saying, “Personal rule. I asked you out, so I pay.”

“Well, as long as you let me pay next time.”

 _Next time._ His train of thoughts suddenly comes to a halt, along with his feet. “Next time?”

Wooseok, who’s already three steps ahead of him, stops as well to turn to him with an expression that is somewhere between teasing and hopeful. “Are you telling me there’s not going to be a next time?”

“Oh, fine...” Wooseok's smile grows bigger at him as he says that, and it’s so bright that he can’t help but smile back. “I also want it. A next time.”

“See? I knew I could get you to come around,” he giggles as he walks back to where Hangyul is, the two of them standing side by side as the sound of lapping water surrounds them.

For a moment, Hangyul feels the _walls_ come down, a surge of intimacy rushing between the two of them. It was like, despite _everything_ , he could tell him _anything_ and it would be okay.

“So,” Wooseok starts as they both lean forward against the barrier that’s separating them and the river; their elbows crossed on top of it. Their distance not too close, but not too far from each other either. “You never told me. Are we the same age?”

“1999?”

“What? I’m your hyung then!”

“Wait, what? You are?”

“Yup, I’m 27 now. That makes you,” Wooseok hums as he gently taps his right index finger thrice against his own arm, then he looks at him on his left, “24, right? I am three years older!”

“I never would have guessed,” Hangyul chuckles at how exhilarated Wooseok’s voice sounds, seemingly happy about the fact that he gets the rights to the hyung card between the both of them. “You don’t look like you’re 27 at all, _hyung_.”

Hangyul doesn’t notice the pink flush that fills Wooseok’s cheeks as the latter immediately turns his face away. “Oh, me?” Wooseok scoffs, “of course. I’m baby-faced.” He clears his throat as he proceeds to tease him, “you’re the one who doesn’t look three years younger than me at all. I honestly thought we’re the same age.”

“Ya, how can you say that. I even complimented you!”

“Ya! I’m your hyung!” Wooseok playfully hits his right arm, earning a laugh from the other. “Stop speaking informally around me!”

“ _Shirheo ('no'; informal)_ ,” Hangyul chuckles, “you said it anyway, I don’t look younger than you, aren’t I? Wooseok-ah?”

“But you’re still younger!” This time, he hits his arm harder. “And call me ‘hyung’!”

“ _Arasseo, arasseo ('I get it, I get it'; still informal), Seokie-hyung,_ ” Hangyul laughs, even as he now rubs his own arm to ease the pain. It hurts, yes, but for him, it’s really worth it to see the older getting all riled up.

Wooseok groans, rolling his eyes, his smile not leaving his face. He should’ve pointed out his informal way of speaking again, but then Hangyul goes and calls him _that_. He wants to punch his self for getting flustered over little things. Or _more accurately_ , over little things Hangyul does. “Whatever makes you happy, _Gyul_.”

“Wooseok-ah?”

Hangyul can’t stop laughing, ignoring the way his heart might have flipped over the nickname, as Wooseok gives him that kind of death glare that’s supposed to make his toes curl in fear, but since it is Wooseok who’s doing it – with a matching pout – it surely looks cute in his eyes. Who wouldn’t find it cute? Who _wouldn’t_ find him cute?

“Okay, okay. _Mianhae ('sorry'; yes still informal),_ hyung,” Hangyul chuckles, as he turns his body to face him completely, arms still crossed, his side leaning against the barrier.

Wooseok can only sigh, shaking his head gently as he smiles, because really, it doesn’t really affect him that much. That Hangyul speaks informally to him. In fact, he actually likes it. It makes him feel like they’re closer. And luckily, Hangyul doesn’t seem to be dropping it any time either. “So,” Wooseok thinks of something to change the subject, “what do you do for a living?”

And just like that, the moment is gone.

Hangyul wishes he could tell him the truth. But it’s far too dangerous. His cover is sacred. Blowing it could cost him his life.

“I’m,” Hangyul pauses, “a bodyguard. Can’t you tell?”

Wooseok gives a laugh like soft velvet. “Should have guessed. With a body like yours, it’s the only thing that makes sense,” he smiles. “Nice to know you can keep me safe if anything goes down.”

Hangyul can tell by his cautious smile that the older knows he’s lying – but he doesn’t press the issue. It isn’t the reaction he expected from him, to be honest. Wooseok respects his boundaries… even the ones he desperately want to cross.

Eager to turn the conversation around, he lobs the question back at him, “what about you, hyung? What do you do?”

“I’m in tech.”

“You work on computers?”

“Yeah,” Wooseok chuckles, “now my secret is out. I’m a huge nerd.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” he smiles, “I’ve always preferred smart guys.”

“Just wait till we get back to your place and I start talking differential equations.”

“You won’t be saying much of anything if you keep up with that smart mouth.”

“Ooh, now I’m really excited.”

A few twists and turns and Hangyul has reached the main city. He’s almost there, he just has to keep moving.

_Please, let me get back in time._

Hangyul repeats the same line in his head over and over again, like a prayer for some miracle to happen, as he rounds another corner. Two more blocks and he crosses into a quieter residential area.

_Please don’t let me be too late. Please don’t let me be too late._

A lane runs from the center of the row of officetels, apartment complexes and shops to a lone white building the back. He takes out his gun as soon as he reaches the gate at the end of the street, jogging though the walkway to the door of his two-story townhouse.

_Shit._

He can tell from the outside that he won’t have to worry about deactivating the impressive security measures. The door is busted down. Someone has already blown them apart.

He flashes back to the last thing he said to Wooseok before he left for work this morning:

“Take care, Gyul.” Wooseok’s tone is suddenly serious as he looks at him straight in the eye.

Hangyul had no idea this could have been the last time he ever saw him alive.

“I love you. You know that right?” Wooseok continues.

Hangyul lets himself get lost in those shining eyes for a moment, before saying, “I love you too.”

Wooseok breaks into a dazzling smile. The kind of smile that makes him fall in love all over again, every single time he sees it.

“I mean it, really… Take care, okay?

“Nothing’s going to happen. I promise.”

“I know,” Wooseok sighs, “I just want to make sure you know how much I appreciate you.”

“I do,” Hangyul smiles. “Trust me.”

_Trust me_.

He asked his Wooseok to trust him. But now, _he might be—_

His mind doesn’t let him finish the thought. Doesn’t want him to finish the thought.

By now, the regular alarm in his flat is already screaming. Neighbors stick their heads out and a car at the end of the lane slows down for a better look. He uses his phone to snap off the noise, just right before he notices a shadow moving inside his flat.

 _Wooseok?_ No. This guy is taller. Bigger.

Kim Yohan appears in the open doorway, shaking his head. _What’s Yohan doing here?_

Yohan served with him in the military even before transferring to NIS with him. He’s seen him through countless missions. Yohan is – excluding Wooseok, of course – his best friend. And he’s one more person he has left out of the loop.

Hangyul slams to a stop as raw, searing panic burns through him. “What happened?” he asks, his voice louder and his tone angrier than he was supposed to let out.

But Yohan gives away nothing. His blank expression sticks firmly in place. “Someone tossed the place. Did quite a number on the furniture.”

Hangyul debates on what to do. Should he ask Yohan for help? Or rush inside to search for Wooseok?

Ah, right.

_Wooseok._

Hangyul makes a move for the inside of the house, but Yohan comes up to block his path. “What the hell?!”

“Look, Hangyul. I want to let you by, but you know I can’t. At least not until you answer a few questions,” Yohan sighs. “I admit I’m confused as to why it looks like you’re living here. Why you haven’t given the office the apartment’s specs so they could do a check and sweep it.” He clears his throat. “You know, the usual security measures we’re required to follow.”

Should he lie? Should he be evasive and not tell him about Wooseok?

Should he just tell him the truth?

Hangyul continues to weigh his options, even though it's clear – he admits – that if he tells him the real situation, Yohan might be able to help him.

“I… moved in here a while back. About a year and a half ago.”

“Why?”

“I just,” Hangyul thinks of the right words to say, “I needed a place where I could live my life. Where I didn’t have to worry about higher-ups looking over my shoulder. Where my personal life wasn’t on display.”

“That’s _not_ what the job is,” Yohan raises one of his eyebrows at him.

“I know that. It’s just…”

Yohan can tell there’s more, but luckily, he doesn’t push it further. “We can discuss the details _later_.”

For now.

“I don’t know why you waited so long to tell me, but I appreciate you being up front now,” Yohan crosses his own arms as he sighs. “I’m your friend, Hangyul. I’m on your side.”

There’s a pause before either of them speaks.

“Is anyone there?” Hangyul asks to break the silence, but honestly, it was really done to know Wooseok’s whereabouts.

“It’s clear.”

Hangyul puts on a straight face as he says, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, good.” It’s not the most controlled reaction he has but it’s all Hangyul could muster right now, with the energy pinging around inside of him that has him ready to tear some skin. He has to keep it under control.

“Is it?” Yohan’s tone was suprisingly angrier, his voice heavier, and his eyebrows furrowed as he continues, “See, normally the way this works is, we’d want to catch the intruders in the act. Haul them to a secret location and question them. Any of this sounding familiar to you?”

Hangyul takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “I was talking about my neighbors. Innocent bystanders.”

“No, you weren’t.”

Hangyul definitely knows that tone, Yohan’s tone, that’s he’s speaking with right now. He has been with and served with Yohan long enough, that it isn’t hard for him to tell when the latter is tired of being jerked around.

As the few neighbors home at this time of the day trickle into the street, Yohan holsters his gun and steps outside onto the front porch. “Everything’s fine, kids, aunts, uncles. A small kitchen fire. You should stay inside your homes until the authorities get here.” With a general mumbling and shaking of heads, the gawkers return to their homes. Yohan gestures him to go inside, clearly still unhappy, and he follows him into the living room.

Broken shards of plates, glasses, pots, and vases litter the room. The sofa pillows and magazine are all over the place as well. The frames on one of the walls dismantled. Everything was a mess.

It seems that it isn’t intended to look like only a simple robbery took place there. There was a fight. His Wooseok clearly fought back, and his heart sinks at the thought. He silently prays to all the gods out there that he isn’t hurt anywhere. At all.

He scans his eyes across the room, finally releasing a breath of relief upon realizing that there isn’t a single blood to be seen.

_Thank God._

“So,” Yohan speaks up, pulling him out of his thoughts, “you ready to explain?”

Hangyul felt a tingle glow at the base of his neck, and for all the years he’s done his work, he knows it’s his own telltale sign telling him that his life is about to be blown apart. “About what?”

“Denial. Interesting strategy,” Yohan hums, unimpressed. “Dumb, but interesting.”

“What the hell are—“ 

Yohan interrupts him by handing him a white square-shaped piece of paper, slightly torn at the top. “We’ll come back to the question later. We have another problem to deal with first.”

“What is this?” He flicks his gaze to the other’s outstretched hand holding the paper, then back at him.

“There was a message for you inside,” Yohan shrugs. “A pretty dramatic one, to be honest, what with it being stuck to the wall with a knife and all.”

Knives. Notes. Hangyul immediately grabs the note out of his hand.

“It's actually cyptic, you know,” Yohan comments further, “threatening in a trying-to-sound conversational kind of way...?” But Hangyul can barely hear him at this point. All he can do is read the words scrawled before him in black ink.

_‘We have him. First date spot.’_


	2. his nightmares

One particular night, three months ago, Hangyul finds himself in his own bed watching Wooseok drift off to sleep beside him.

He has been dating Wooseok for half a year by this time, and this said boyfriend of his has caught quite a habit of sleeping over at his apartment, doing it almost every other day.

For all those times he did, Hangyul has noticed that it is always Wooseok who would fall asleep first between the two of them. Not that Hangyul is complaining; there’s something peaceful about watching Wooseok sleep, his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath.

This time is different, though.

This time, Wooseok is kicking, shifting restlessly, and grasping for nothing but air. Hangyul reaches for both of his hands and clasps them with his own, his eyes full of worry and concern. 

“No! Dad! Mom! No!” Wooseok suddenly wakes up, his eyes wide and his breathing ragged and heavy.

“Hyung,” Hangyul softly calls out to him, squeezing his hand gently. “Hyung, it’s okay, you were just having a nightmare.”

“What...” Wooseok breathes absent-mindedly, still unable to recover from his dream as he flicks his gaze to meet his.

“Just a nightmare,” Hangyul assures him. He gently bundles him into his arms, feeling Wooseok tremble in his embrace as the latter grips his shirt weakly, his heartbeat knocking against him like a small, frightened bird. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

They stay silent like that for a while, just basking in each other’s warmth. With Hangyul’s hand giving soothing motions on his back as he takes several deep breaths to calm himself down.

“Sorry, I just,” Wooseok starts after a moment, his voice muffled against the younger’s shirt, “I didn’t realize I was dreaming.”

“I know, baby, it’s okay,” Hangyul whispers back as he places a soft kiss on top of his head. One of his hands reaches up to softly caress his hair, the other one still holding him close.

He doesn’t hear Wooseok talk much about his parents, so he has always assumed it is a sore spot for him. But tonight, it sounded like his nightmare has something to do with them. He just can’t help but be worried and curious about it.

“What were you dreaming about?” Hangyul asks, breaking the comfortable silence.

He feels the older tense against him. “I don’t remember,” Wooseok replies, his voice taking on an evasive tone.

Hangyul hums, instantly catching his tone as he pulls back to look at his boyfriend’s face. He hesitates about pushing the topic further, but decides to ask anyway. “Were you dreaming about your parents?”

“ _Maybe_ ,” Wooseok avoids his eyes as he sits up the bed, moving back to lean against the headboard. He looks down at his own hands. “I don’t know.”

Hangyul can only nod in response as he watches the other’s fingers start to fidget. He understands that he shouldn’t ask anymore, so he sits up to face Wooseok and quietly takes his hands, his thumbs running smooth, comforting circles on both of his knuckles.

Wooseok stares at their joined hands for a quite a moment, before deciding to speak again. “I… I lost them when I was younger.” He pauses, closing his eyes as he takes another deep breath. “They died in front of me, and I… I just saw it again.”

Hangyul feels his heart drop at his words. “I’m so sorry,” he says, holding his hands tighter.

Wooseok slowly opens his eyes to meet his concerned gaze and gives him a sad smile. “I don’t really want to think about it, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” he subtly nods as he brushes away a few strands of hair that covered Wooseok’s eyes. “If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to.”

“Thanks, Gyul,” Wooseok sighs a breath of relief, pulling him into a hug as he buries his face on the younger’s neck. “You mean the world to me, you know that, right?”

Hangyul smiles, his heartbeat suddenly wilding at a quicker pace. “You mean the same to me, too.”

He feels Wooseok’s smile against him before they both gently pull away from each other. Wooseok places a quick soft kiss on his lips before nuzzling into his neck as they lie on the bed; the younger’s chest serving as his head pillow as he drifts off to sleep once again.

Hangyul holds him tighter as he whispers, _“I’ll always keep you safe.”_

Hangyul feels like he’s frozen in time as he reads the same two sentences over and over again.

_‘We have him. First date spot.’_

He stares at the letters, repeating them in his mind until he can’t seem to comprehend the words anymore. Like symbols with no clear meaning. Adrenaline builds inside him, rushing through every cell.

“This is bullshit,” Hangyul meant to think the words, but they come out in a rough, angry whisper.

“I can’t argue with that,” Yohan sighs.

Hangyul doesn’t respond. His mind becomes full of so many things and nothing at once.

He was so careful. Nothing – and really, nothing – about this place traces back to his work or name. He is sure he did every possible measure to let his superiors think he had only one address. Let them maybe plant listening devices there and watch over the wrong place.

So how did _they_ find him?

This place is a secret, is his secret. The people in the office surely think he still lives in that one-bedroom in Insa-dong. In reality, he makes sure to visit that registered home of his once or twice a week just in case, but he never stays through the night. His superiors won’t actually really bat an eye if he never comes home much. It’s literally the kind of job he has.

He suddenly hears Yohan snort, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You think someone has you confused with another undercover agent in the neighborhood?”

“Yohan. Please,” Hangyul closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, “I don’t have time for your bullshit right now.”

“ _My_ bullshit?” Yohan scoffs, “You’re the one who let this happen. It’s because of all this secrecy that they managed to grab whomever this note is referring to.”

He feels a pang of guilt rush through him as he hears Yohan’s words. He lowers his head as he opens his eyes.

“I’m going to need you to tell me exactly who that is,” Yohan continues.

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Hangyul steps further into the living room, scanning the place for clues, with Yohan following him only with his eyes. “I have to do a quick investigation before the cleaning squad arrives and takes everything,” he declares.

“No,” Yohan shifts to block his path, again. “We’re not handling this situation your way. Not this time.”

“Do we really have to argue about this right now?” Hangyul snaps, staring straight into his eyes. He has so much in mind to deal with, but he can’t just simply let others take control of this situation. He can’t afford a single mistake. Not when it would cost him Wooseok’s life.

“It should’ve not been done your way, long before today,” Yohan glares at him back, refusing to back down. He has tolerated Hangyul for so long; he has kept him in the dark, and he lets him be.

But enough is enough. Hangyul has to tell him what he’s hiding so he knows just what kind of danger they throw themselves into. So he knows how to help him.

“You should have told me before. Now, you don’t have a choice. Just say it.”

Hangyul looks down at his own feet as he contemplates on what to do. On what to say. He mentally curses as his fists curl into a ball, the paper crumpling in his hand. The timing for this is just… all wrong. He takes a deep breath, as he thinks and thinks and thinks. He isn’t sure if he even has the right words to explain it to him.

“Hangyul,” Yohan’s expression softens as he watches his friend struggle, “I can’t help you if you don’t trust me.”

He takes a deep breath one last time before opening his eyes, lifting his gaze back to Yohan. He knows Yohan is genuinely trying to help him, and he can’t just lose his temper.

He decides in that moment to tell him everything because, well, Yohan is his friend and he has his back.

“The first thing you need to know,” Hangyul turns to face the mess of a room again as he momentarily pauses, “is that I have a boyfriend… I couldn’t find the words to tell you earlier than this. I’m sorry. Are you happy now?”

“Not really.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hangyul looks back at him, surprised at his response.

“Just that you’ve gone all this time without telling me,” Yohan sighs. “I kept waiting for you to trust me enough with this, and now that you finally do, I’m too late to help keep your man safe.”

“You knew?” Hangyul’s eyes widen as he asks, the look of shock still written all over his face.

Yohan can’t help but chuckle at his friend’s expression, “Of course I knew, Hangyul.”

“Then why didn’t you say something? Anything?”

“Well, first, I wasn’t going to be the one to point out to you that you weren’t straight,” Yohan rolls his eyes, but he smiles after. “I’m trained to notice things, remember?”

Hangyul’s lips can only form an ‘oh’ as he agrees, nodding at his friend. He’s still trying to digest everything in, and he’s too taken aback to even respond with words.

“In all the years I’ve known you, you haven’t really talked much about going out with a woman… I’ve seen you stare at waitresses before, sure, but at waiters as well. Oh, and I’ve been in a bar with you more than once, and watched some guy look at you, then ten minutes later you both disappear.” Yohan laughs as he sees his friend’s ear turn deep red, “I am not stupid.”

“I was going to tell you, just,” Hangyul’s face then turns into a sad one as he trails off, “in my own time.”

“I know that, and that’s why I never forced the issue,” Yohan sighs. “But really, all this sneaking around? From the agency?”

“You think it’s fair?” Hangyul asks after a short silence, with Yohan still waiting for him to answer, “You think it’s fair that we’re not allowed our own lives? That everything is held up to this awful scrutiny?”

“Of course I hate it,” Yohan sighs, “but that’s part of the job. The job _you_ signed up for. And now you’ve seen what happens when you try to work around the system.”

“I know,” Hangyul huffs as he looks down again. “And I’m never ever going to forgive myself for letting them take him.”

“So,” Yohan hums, “who is this guy, anyway?”

“His name is Wooseok. Kim Wooseok-hyung,” Hangyul smiles sadly as he pictures Wooseok’s smiling face in his mind.

“Hyung?!”

“Yeah, he’s three years older,” Hangyul can’t help but chuckle at his clearly surprised reaction.

“ _Heol…_ ” Yohan says dramatically, his mouth agape and his hands even coming up to cover his mouth. “How about his job?”

“Tech stuff.”

“ _Daebak…_ Tech, really?”

“I like them smart.”

“You mean nerdy,” Yohan teases, as he subtly shakes his head, smiling.

Hangyul chuckles, followed by his swallowing down the emotions threatening to crawl up his throat.

A part of him wishes that he can turn back the time, but truthfully, he doesn’t even really know what he’ll do if he can. If he goes back, maybe to the part where he didn’t meet Wooseok yet, then he can’t get him involve with his mess, and _he_ wouldn’t get hurt.

But a searing pain crosses his heart just at the thought of not having Wooseok in his life at all. He can’t bear it. “ _They_ have him.”

“They?”

“Fuck, it could be anyone.” He tugs at his own hair before he slides his hands harshly down his face. “How many people have we pissed off all over the years?”

“A lot,” Yohan answers. “But as you pointed out, not many have your real home address. Think for a second. _Someone_ … someone’s out there trying to get your attention. That person or group or whatever is trying to use this Kim Wooseok-ssi to lure you to them.”

“Not _trying_ ,” Hangyul huffs, “They don’t need to try, because I’m going to him.”

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Yohan just sighs; it’s not really the point of what he said but he still lets him off, “but we need some intel here. How would someone get to him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Any chance someone followed you, or…” Yohan trails off but there’s something in his tone that puts Hangyul off. Like he wants to say something that Hangyul would surely be pissed about, but he doesn’t.

Except that Hangyul is, now, clearly pissed off. “What?”

He isn’t really sure he would like to hear what Yohan is going to say, though. Silence surrounds them for a moment until he hears Yohan clear his throat before speaking again, “what have you told Kim Wooseok-ssi about your life?”

“He doesn’t know I work for NIS. I didn’t tell him anything that could drag him into this.”

“What, come on. Not a thing?”

“Not a damn thing,” Hangyul emphasizes every word. “I’ve been lying to him too, just as I’ve been trained to do.”

Yohan lets out a long exhale. “Then I guess we’ll have to simply resort to asking the kidnappers what they want. When we rescue your man.”

“Thanks, Yohan.”

Yohan goes to him and punches his forearm hard, a reassuring smile on his face, “We’ll save him! At least show me some fighting spirit. This isn’t like you at all.”

Hangyul scoffs at his friend, but he shakes his head as a small smile forms on his lips. Indeed, it isn’t like him to mope around at all. “Yeah.”

“Then after all of this, I’m going to kick your ass for not trusting me enough to tell me the truth,” Yohan continues, faking his angry tone.

“I had my reasons…”

“God, is this really Hangyul I’m talking to right now? You’re too serious.”

Hangyul sighs, mouthing a simple ‘yeah’ again. Just the fact that Wooseok is in danger somewhere out there, maybe alone in the dark and all tied up, makes his soul threaten to leave his body. His chest tightens as he hopes for the best case scenario he can think of – that Wooseok is just asleep, and _they_ aren’t beating him up.

“Well,” Yohan sighs, “you can tell me all those reasons – and you really will – after we got Kim Wooseok-ssi back. _Arasseo_?”

Hangyul just nods. What really matters to him right now is that he gets Wooseok back.

Yohan points at the crumpled paper in his hands. “So, what do you think that means?”

His attention goes back to the only clue they have.

 _‘First date spot’?_ That would mean the Han River, right? That’s where he first took out Wooseok after all.

But what if they meant the bar in Hongdae where he first met him? He wouldn’t exactly call that a first date, though.

Fear and adrenaline are starting to affect Hangyul’s thoughts that he doesn’t even bother questioning at this moment how this person or group or whatever knew this kind of information. Instead, he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He knew he won’t go anywhere with his internal debate if he continues without thinking critically.

_Okay, so._

A bar in the middle of the city seems like a bad place to take a kidnapping victim. Surely, they’d want to take him somewhere isolated.

Somewhere no one could easily hear _him_ scream.

It doesn’t take Hangyul and Yohan long to make their way to the Han River, and as expected, not a lot of people loiter in this place at this time of the day – about 10 AM on his watch.

In fact, there’s almost no one, except for an old couple leaving that they met at the entrance earlier, about ten meters away from them now.

It’s a bit too silent here. Aside from the sound they can barely hear of passing vehicles from the bridge across the river half a mile away from where they are.

_It’s a bit too easy._

Hangyul can count on one hand the number of times an operation they did went according to plan. He can barely remember a time he didn’t have to fall back on a plan B, or C, or even D. Plan A tends to turn to shit and end in explosions after all.

And he can’t risk it. He can’t risk his Wooseok dying. He can’t make any mistake here because it could cost him his boyfriend’s life, and that simple fact makes him nervous than any open fire could ever do.

“We any closer to figuring out who’s behind this?” Yohan asks as they halt to a stop at one point along the riverside.

“We drove over in the same car. Did you hear me say I’d figured it out?”

“Smartass.”

Hangyul just sighs, as even he does not expect himself to be this irritable.

“Okay so any idea where ‘they’ would be keeping him? We’re talking miles of open land and numerous buildings here. We could call in reinforce—“

“No, just us on this one,” Hangyul interrupts him immediately.

“What? But we have a team for a reason,” Yohan retorts, quite surprised at the sudden disagreement.

“And if they come in now, we’ll definitely have a firefight. You know as well as I do that too many feet on the ground can tip off the target,” Hangyul reasons, his voice firm as he says the next lines. “I’m not willing to take that chance. Not with Wooseok-hyung’s life on the line.”

Yohan considers his words with a furrowed brow, but after a moment, he nods. “Fine. I’ll follow your lead on this one… Now that we’ve settled that, where’s your boyfriend? I’m ready to see the guy who has you messed up and ready to throw your career away.”

Hangyul sighs, a small smile forming on his lips as he hands Yohan his binoculars in response. “Factory, about 60 meters down on the left.”

“Hm,” Yohan follows to look at the direction he said, “I’m not seeing any movement. Not a person.”

“Yeah, but they’re here,” Hangyul voices out in a low whisper, his resolve firm. He can’t see any single person either, but he knows it, he feels that they are here.

Yohan hums an agreement, “Well yeah, like rats. Pretty sure they’re crawling out there somewhere then.”

“He will be the one without a gun.”

“Right,” Yohan says, understanding that by ‘he’, Hangyul meant Wooseok. “So how do you want to take this?”

Hangyul goes into silence for a while, eyeing the most suspicious place he has pointed out to Yohan earlier, before finally speaking up, “I have a plan.”

“I think I know what they’re planning,” Hangyul starts in a low voice as they both hide behind a bush, supposedly out of view from their target.

“Oh?”

“They wanted us here, which means this is clearly a trap,” he pauses. “Look, what makes more sense? Them not preparing for us, or—“

“The fact that they’re hiding in wait,” Yohan continues his words, subtly nodding as he gets his point.

“Yeah, they probably have a few guys hidden around waiting to get the drop on us.”

“But you’re still planning on going in.”

“Of course, I have to,” Hangyul sighs heavily. “They have Wooseok-hyung.”

“So um… we just bumble in blindly? I thought you actually had a plan,” Yohan’s face turns into disbelief.

“No, and yes. We spring their trap.” Hangyul considers for a second, before saying, “At least, _I_ do. You cover me from a distance. If anything goes wrong, you take out the opposition.”

Yohan’s brows furrowed at his words, “This is risky.”

“I know. But it’s the only chance we have.”

Hangyul waits, as silence surrounds them for a moment. Then, to his relief, he sees Yohan nod.

“Be careful, Hangyul.”

Hangyul moves in as quietly as he can, careful not to draw any attention to himself, as he holds his gun, ready to aim at anyone threatening.

It is a tall, abandoned building, perhaps a factory – the place he approaches. Its construction is still left undone, Hangyul concludes, as he eyes the barriers surrounding the place and the numerous metals, ladders, and cement bars poking out of the structure. The metal gate is left open, though. And the factory doesn’t seem unused.

He is within ten meters of the target building’s door when the clicking starts.

But it’s not gunfire.

It’s the steady shuffling of man after man appearing on rooftops and around corners. Men in battle gears armed and loaded with weapons and protective vests.

_What the hell._

Hangyul mentally curses as he realizes that there aren’t just a few guys surrounding him, but a small army of them.

He hears a shot from a distance; Yohan fires and one of the men at the rooftop drops. Then another. He seizes the opportunity to upholster his own gun. Hangyul dives for cover, firing with aimed shots at each of the mercenaries above him.

“We’ve got trouble, Hangyul,” He hears Yohan whisper harshly through his earpiece, something their agency provided to be used in their operations.

Hangyul hums in response, “I can clearly see that.”

“No, they spotted me. I’m surrounded. They’re forcing me toward you.”

Sure enough, he sees Yohan running for his life, avoiding every bullet he can, as mercenaries continue to fire at him from above.

Hangyul curses as he wonders where the hell those firing at Yohan even came from. Yohan was clearly hidden, positioned at least twenty meters away from him. He feels a deep pit slowly form in his stomach as he realizes something.

It’s like _they_ knew exactly how Hangyul would think.

He pushes down the thought as he sees Yohan clear the distance between the both of them in record time, miraculously avoiding every shot.

Their training and experience built up for all these years kick in, and the two of them dive to the only escape they have – inside the factory.

Hangyul and Yohan both rush inside, bullets whirring over their heads.

“How the hell did you make it to me without getting shot?” Hangyul manages to ask despite their quick movements, both turning their earpieces off.

“I’m actually good,” Yohan smirks, “but not _that_ good.” His tone becomes serious as he continues, “Those were guiding shots. They were meant to miss, Hangyul.”

Hangyul’s expression goes grim as he realizes what he means, “So they wanted us in here.”

Just as the words leave his mouth, more mercenaries emerge from behind aisles and stacked boxes. At this range, there’s no way they would miss their shot. The two of them instinctively shuffle together, standing back-to-back, as both their guns quickly come up to aim at the men cautiously.

“Where’s a barrel of explosives to hide behind?” Yohan asks him from behind, his tone unexpectedly giddy. “There’s always one in the movies.”

Hangyul snorts in response. Yohan must actually be enjoying this situation far too much, not breaking under pressure and even managing to make jokes. He has to give his friend credit for that.

“Recognize anyone?”

“Nope,” Hangyul replies, his voice remaining even, as they eye the mercenaries who have been aiming their guns at them. Nobody moves. Nobody, aside from them, says a thing.

“They’re clearly well-trained, and seem pretty excited to start shooting things, namely, us.”

Hangyul contemplates on whether they strike first, or probably negotiate with them. Surrendering is, of course, out of the question.

He eventually decides on the first one; negotiating with them won’t work. They seem to be mercenaries hired only to do one job, not the one they’re looking for – the mastermind behind this kidnapping. Hangyul figures majority of them does not even know where Wooseok is held captive.

“Let’s strike first,” he says in a low voice, audible to only the both of them.

“I like where your head’s at,” Yohan whispers back, “but I don’t know if we could pull that off. We could take out a few, sure. But the rest would just finish us off.” Yohan sighs, “I hate to say it, but they got us at this point.”

“Maybe, but we’re not dead yet,” Hangyul argues, “which means they want us alive.”

Yohan goes silent for about two full seconds, before finally saying, “They’re going to take us captive then.”

“Let them try,” Hangyul scoffs. “We’ve busted out of worst before.”

“Whatever. For now, the best thing to do is to go with the flow.”

“SHUT UP!” They hear one of the mercenaries shout, his voice thundering throughout the quiet, tense space. And at this, the men start to move in. Hangyul hears Yohan hum an ‘uh-oh’, and a ‘here we go’ as their opponents’ boots crunch against the debris and broken glass shards.

Hangyul conducts a mental inventory of the weapons he has with him. “If these guys take my gun, and they’re clearly about to, I need backup.”

“This is the oddest setup I’ve ever been caught in,” Yohan says in response, shaking his head.

“Oh, right,” Hangyul says teasingly. “I forgot you’re one to avoid these kinds of situations.”

“ _Ya_ , I’ve kept you alive so far, haven’t I?”

The mercenaries close in, still aiming their weapons at them, breaching the imaginary line Hangyul has drawn in his head for combat. Cross that line, and battle is guaranteed, that is his rule.

Hangyul swallows past the lump in his throat as he grips his gun tighter. It’s time to put an end to this bullshit. If he can’t strike first, he might as well try to negotiate. “We—“

He is cut off as the man in front of him aims a gun close to his forehead. “Weapons down.”

“Or,” Yohan speaks up from behind him, “we could just start shooting and see who’s left standing when we’re done.”

“Then you’ll never get what you came for,” the same man answers, pinning Hangyul with a mocking stare. “ _Who_ you came for,” he smirks as he momentarily pauses. “Or did you forget him already?”

Hangyul gives him the deadliest death glare he can muster, clenching his jaw as his eyes pins him down. Fear crosses the man’s face for a split second but it’s all gone the next moment, as the said man clears his throat, his face quickly turning into a blank expression.

“Let me speak to Wooseok-hyung first.” Hangyul slowly lowers his gun to the ground and holds his hands up. “I’ll do what you say. But first, I need proof that he’s alive.”

The mercenary stays silent for a moment, before nodding. “Fine, if that’s what it will take.”

Still aiming the gun to his head, the man pulls out an old flip phone and dials a number. Hangyul follows the phone with his eyes, thinking that they are probably using that old thing to avoid being traced. He could take him out while he’s distracted, Hangyul mentally remarks, but he knows one of these other jokers will shoot him for sure. So he won’t. He can’t save Wooseok if he dies.

“Yeah, it’s me. Put the guy through,” the mercenary speaks at the phone, his eyes still focused on Hangyul. A beat echoes through the room. “You have five seconds.” The man shoves the phone roughly to the side of his face.

[“Gyul?”]

“Seokie-hyung,” Hangyul can feel the tears threatening to form in his eyes, but he stops himself. “Is that you, hyung?”

[“Babe, what’s going on? Who are these people?”]

He clearly hears the fear and confusion in his trembling voice, and he feels his heart sink. “Hyung, I’m coming to get you. Just hold on until—“

Something hard smacks into the back of his head, stopping him.

He can make out the stars exploding in front of his eyes. He struggles to stay upright, but a second hit slams him to the ground. Then a kick to his side has him curling into a ball, as he reaches for his knife.

But just right then, the world around him goes dark.

“Gyul…”

Hangyul opens his eyes at the sound of Wooseok’s voice, only to be taken aback as he realizes that they’re not in the factory or anywhere dark, dangerous, and suspicious. They are in his apartment.

Wooseok sits on the floor, with his knees close to his chest and his arms crossed on top of them, as he leans his back beside the couch.

Hangyul’s eyes scan the entirety of the living room. Everything is in order. Exactly the way it is before all of that mess happened. He flicks his gaze to the side profile of the man by his side. It’s only the two of them.

_Is this a dream? Or was everything a dream?_

He hopes for the latter. He really hopes he just fell asleep that morning as he prepares to leave for work for the day.

“Hyung,” he opens his mouth, his voice filled with worry and concern. He tries to bring his hand up to reach Wooseok’s face, but his body doesn’t cooperate.

It is like he is paralyzed, though for some reason, he doesn’t seem to realize it.

“What are you doing here…? I- I thought they had you.”

He sees tears suddenly start rolling down Wooseok’s face, much to his surprise. “Why couldn’t you save me, Gyul?”

“Hyung, oh god… I…” Hangyul doesn’t know what to say. His chest tightens at the question he has been dreading to hear.

And he hates it.

He hates seeing Wooseok get hurt. Get sick. Bawl his eyes out. Silently endure everything. He hates seeing him cry all the more now that he’s the cause of all the pain he has. He badly wants to punch himself.

Honestly, he rarely sees Wooseok cry; _he_ has such a strong personality, and that’s one of the things that Hangyul admires about him the most. When he does cry, though, it’s always Hangyul he seeks for comfort with.

Now he can’t do anything. He can’t even protect him. From the pain. From those bastards. From everything.

If he has the chance to take the pain away from him, and be the one to endure it instead, he would.

“I was so scared when they came for me,” Wooseok continues, still staring at the wall in front of him, his voice trembling. “Why… why did you let this happen?”

“Hyung, I’m so sorry,” Hangyul feels his cheeks get wet by his own tears, but he doesn’t care.

Wooseok buries his face in his own folded arms, as he finally lets out the sobs he has been holding in.

“I’m really sorry, hyung,” Hangyul’s voice cracks as he repeats his words, apologizing over and over again.

Because this time, he doesn’t know how to make him feel better. He can’t find the right words to make him smile. He can’t just pull him into a warm hug and embrace him to ease the pain away. He usually knows what to do. But right now, he just feels so… helpless.

Hangyul can’t even move, like he’s stoned in place. But maybe that’s for the better, he thinks. He can’t just let himself hold him like nothing happened because he knows it's his fault.

Wooseok doesn’t deserve this. Wooseok doesn’t deserve him.

“ _Seokie_ , I’m sorry.”

That’s all he can do. Apologize.

His heart shatters as he hears Wooseok sob even more, his shoulders shaking so much.

“Seok... I’m sorry I let you down... I know this isn’t enough. My apologies aren’t enough. I care for you so much but I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to protect you. I told you I’d always keep you safe.

_But I failed you.”_

Minutes, or more likely, hours could have passed, but Hangyul has no way of knowing.

His dream fades as he reenters consciousness. He shifts his arms and he feels a wire bite into his wrists. He looks down and another wire binds his chest to the chair.

The physical pain he feels fades into the background as reality hits him. He’s tied down.

Shaking off his dream, he takes a quick look at his surroundings, barely noticing the sticky feeling of tears that has dried off his cheeks. He makes a note of where he is – an abandoned warehouse. The perfect quiet place to inflict pain.

_Just fucking fabulous._

His mind wanders, though, to where Wooseok might be. Is he in some warehouse somewhere too? Is he here?

His eyes adjust slowly to the light, but it doesn’t take long to make out the figure tied up next to him. It’s Yohan.

“Yohan,” he calls out in a low whisper, checking on his friend’s condition, “you okay?”

Yohan shifts as he hears Hangyul’s voice waking him up. “Well that sucked,” he whines as he feels the wires binding him too.

Hangyul gives him a weak smile, grateful to find his friend’s sense of humor intact. “Bet you’re sorry you answered the alarm at my house.”

Yohan chuckles raggedly at his words as he shakes his head, “I’ve had worse days.”

Footsteps echo behind them as they hear a figure enter the room. “Looks like our time is up,” Hangyul whispers. “If we’re lucky, they just plan to torture us.”

The figures stops right in front of where he and Yohan sit bound to their chairs. What quickly catches their attention is the striking fact that the man wears black all over - black turtleneck, black blazers, black pants, black shoes. _He obviously doesn’t seem to be liking black much,_ Hangyul sarcastically thinks, as he lifts his gaze up to meet the eyes of his captor.

Deep, dark eyes… like deep, dark abysses leading to a whole universe beyond. He feels like he could drown himself in them over and over again. Like he _always_ did for the past year.

For a second, it seems as though dreams have blurred their way into his reality.

High cheekbones. Firm jaw. The familiar mischief in _his_ eyes.

That face. He knows it too well.

_Fuck._

He wants to scream his lungs out and curse at his own fate as he hears the voice that has practically been a part of his life now,

“Gyul."


	3. real lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warning: electrocution, shooting

Everything seems so long ago now, Hangyul thinks, as the man who once slept so restlessly in his arms paces ever so slowly in front of him, a chilling smile on his face and a gun in his hand. He follows him with his eyes, remembering how the said man seemed so vulnerable back then.

_Was it all just an act?_

“Gyul.” Wooseok stops in front of him, still keeping their distance a couple meters apart.

“Who the hell are you?” Yohan asks, his tone quite heavy with anger.

There is complete silence for a while, just Wooseok and Hangyul staring at each other’s eyes, as if searching for _something_. Yohan looks back and forth at them with furrowed brows. “I said, who-“

“Wooseok.”

“What the hell?!” Yohan looks back at Hangyul, disbelief written all over his face. He waits for him to call it a joke or something. Except the younger doesn’t.

How Hangyul wishes this isn’t real. That this is just a thread left over from his dream _._ It has to be, but _this_ is his sad reality. Wooseok – his Wooseok – is standing like the villain that he is, right there in front of him.

“So, the guy with the big gun is your kidnapped tech geek boyfriend?!”

“Not anymore,” Hangyul says, hurt and anger evident in his voice. He looks away and tries to blink back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Crying is both the most and the least thing he wants to do right now. He is so frustrated and mad to the point that he wants to vent everything out, but he won’t show _him_ how much he is dying inside. He won’t give him that satisfaction.

Wooseok spears him with an icy smile in response. “You always did have such a temper, Gyul, didn’t you?”

“…Why do I think the next few minutes are going to suck,” Yohan breathes out, slumping back to the chair he’s tied to and ignoring the death glare he earns from Hangyul.

“That’s an understatement,” Wooseok chuckles.

The shock and confusion Hangyul feels turn into rage. He stares at the face he woke up to most mornings for the past six months, and feels nothing but seething hatred. “I’m going to kill you.” His voice is low and threatening as he lets out the words he didn’t expect he would ever say to Wooseok. He is taken aback by himself to say the least; he _almost_ regrets saying it, until he sees a smirk creep up Wooseok’s face he’d so gladly wipe off at that moment.

“I look forward to seeing you try.”

Hangyul’s gaze snaps to the gun in Wooseok’s hand, then to the floor. He takes note of another wire that binds his legs, dashing any chance of kicking his way to freedom. Looks like Wooseok was smart enough not to use zip ties. It’s a shame, really. He could break those without any trouble.

Wooseok’s smile widens, as if he knows exactly what Hangyul was thinking. Hangyul clenches his fists, making a mental note that if Wooseok keeps smiling like that, he might just rip through the metal with his bare hands just to strangle him. A small voice in the back of his mind counters him, though, saying he can’t ever hurt Wooseok, but he chooses to push down that voice into abyss.

He debates knocking the chair over, but he quickly discards that idea, too. The wires are so well-tied to allow for movement. These bindings are clearly professional, and he can’t help but wonder if Wooseok tied them, and if so, where he learned to do them.

Wooseok opens his mouth to speak, as if to answer his unspoken question, but then stops - his attention changing its focus to something, or rather _someone_ , over Hangyul’s shoulder. “We have company.”

It takes some concentration but Hangyul is able to hear the soft footsteps. A taller man in black suit approaches, with a much older man that seems to be one of his personal guards following close behind him. _He_ carries himself like someone who is used to being in charge, Hangyul remarks; this man must be the one running the show.

“I see our guests have finally arrived,” the mysterious man happily says, then turns to speak to his guard, “We’ll need the equipment. Go retrieve it.”

“Yeah, a little late... But then, Gyul has a habit of showing up an hour after he says he will.” Wooseok comments, a mocking smile forming on his lips.

Yohan would have chuckled and joined in on the teasing had it been a different situation. All he knows this time is that he would have already spin-kicked Wooseok had his limbs been free. “That’s what this is about? You’re pissed he always missed dinner before or something?”

“Nice to _finally_ meet you, Yohan,” Wooseok smiles, the same one Hangyul thought was genuine, but now, it just sends chills down his spine. “I see you failed at keeping Hangyul out of danger. Again.”

“Fuck you,” Yohan grits out.

Hangyul almost chokes on his own breath. Wooseok shouldn’t know anything about Yohan; he doesn’t remember ever mentioning Yohan’s name to him. Not even once. So, how did he know his name?

Just then, the guard returns, rolling a cart with him. On it is a machine the size of a shoebox. Hangyul can’t initially tell what is, but the jumper cables give it away. That’s not even counting the bucket of water on the lower shelf of the cart. Perfect equipment for electric shocks.

Sure enough, Hangyul has been trained to resist torture through various rounds and drills. Not his favorite part of the job, but he knows he can beat them if he stays focused. And he knows, too, that he can’t let himself get distracted by Wooseok at all.

“What the hell is all of this?” Hangyul asks, his expression now a calm, cold one, so blank even Yohan can’t figure out what’s going on in his mind.

The tallest of them lets out a chuckle, mocking him. “Your boyfriend did the job. Lured you here.”

“Since when,” he takes a deep breath as he looks at Wooseok, “when did you start working for them?”

“From the very beginning,” the tall man answers in his place again. “Remember that bar we sent him to?”

“You were an easy mark,” Wooseok shrugs.

Hangyul doesn’t have the chance to counter when he sees the tall man nod to his guard standing by the cart and say: “Let’s get started.” The guard flips a switch and a small light from the machine flickers on, a low hum beginning to fill the room. Hangyul knows he has to stall, has to keep them talking until he can figure out a way to escape this situation.

“I should’ve seen this coming,” he whispers under his breath, barely audible amidst the noise.

“Oh, poor little thing,” the tall man grins, shaking his head. “Don’t give yourself too much credit. Wooseok is a damn good agent. You didn’t have a chance against him.”

“I told you, he’s got an ego,” Wooseok approaches the machine as he talks. He twists the dial up to the highest setting.

“Well, I heard you’re also very _good_ in bed,” the tall man hums. “In fact, your boyfriend has provided vivid details of your nights together… Not that you restricted yourself to nights,” he chuckles, “It’s amazing you found any time to work, with all the sex.”

Wooseok suddenly moves behind him, and luckily, Hangyul stops himself from flinching. The older rests his hands on his shoulders and leans forward until his cheek almost touches his own. “It was pretty great…”

“Wooseok, or whatever the fuck your name is,” Yohan interrupts, glaring at him, “if Hangyul doesn’t kill you, I will.”

Wooseok smirks at that. “Doubtful.” He follows the comment with a kiss, letting his mouth trail down Hangyul’s neck; the tips of his fingers dipping into the pocket of his shirt, lingering there and caressing his chest.

It takes all of Hangyul’s energy to hold still. Every cell in his body screams, too conscious under Wooseok’s touch. He needs Wooseok _away_ from him. _Now_. “Untie me and I’ll show you just what I can do.”

The tall man shakes his head, grinning, “He is cute.”

Wooseok’s hand drops to his stomach, the other running down his thigh. “I like his self-assurance. And his-“

“Don’t touch me.”

“That’s the first time you’ve ever said that.” Wooseok grabs the collar of Hangyul’s shirt and pulls him into his chest. Then, delicately, he places a kiss against his ear. That’s when it happens: a quiet, almost imperceptible sound – a mumbled word: “pocket.” Little more than a breath and barely a noise.

 _Pocket…?_ Hangyul can’t help but wonder what the hell it was for, and why the hell it was whispered to him. Did Wooseok slip something into his pocket?

Yohan’s voice interrupts his thoughts, clearly irritated. “What did you see in this guy, Hangyul?”

“Exactly what Wooseok wanted your friend to see.” The tall man holds his hand out and Wooseok moves to his side. “Wooseok works for me, after all.”

One more second of this and his brain is going to explode. Wooseok awakened every one of his nerve endings with that touch, adrenaline surging through him almost like a bullet train. He stills his glare to the mysterious tall man’s face. “What the fuck do you want?”

“You.”

“Why?”

“To _sell_ ,” he shrugs. “There’s a high price on your head, Lee Hangyul. Let’s just say… we specialize in sending people, like you, to _those_ who are invested in meeting them. Having your agent partner here is just a bonus.”

“I’m not interested in meeting someone new. The last guy I dated turned out to be a piece of shit.”

Wooseok places a hand over his mouth in mock shock. “You can’t mean that.”

“But Wooseok is great. You have to be impressed with the way he tracked you down, waited for just the right moment, then worked his way into your life.” He flashes a smile at him. “Of course, it’s _not_ as if you waited more than one night before moving him in.”

“It was a _good_ first night,” Wooseok chimes in.

“Asshole,” Yohan hisses, “when I get out of these ties – and I will – I’m coming for you first.”

Wooseok scrunches his nose. “You’re not my type.”

“I don’t care. I’m going to kick your ass when I get out of here. Nobody hurts my bestfriend.”

In all honesty, Hangyul feels a familiar sting in his eyes, his heart clenching at Yohan’s words. Everything is just a complete mess, and _yes_ , he is still trying to wrap his head around it. He is their _only_ target. Yohan shouldn’t have been in danger had he not pulled him into this, but despite all of that, he _is_ still on his side.

“I wonder if you’ll be so sure of yourself when we hand you off,” the tall man folds his arms in front of him. “Admittedly, it might be worth it to hold an auction. Imagine what we could demand for two NIS agents. The best of the best and all that...”

“So, this is all about money?” Hangyul snaps. Setting him up, getting him here - he refuses to believe his personal life has been turned into a shitshow just for some quick cash.

“Isn’t everything? We’re businesspeople. Pure and simple.”

“Business,” Yohan scoffs. “Right. That sounds exactly like something a human trafficker might say. Great company you keep.”

“It pays the bills,” the tall man shrugs. Then, his sunny smile disappears. “Now, I believe we’ve talked enough. I think it’s time to begin, don’t you?”

The guard moves in as if on cue, clutching the jumper cables in either hand.

“Torture?” Yohan throws mockingly. “Pathetic.”

“As if you’ve _never_ used this trick.” The tall man takes his gun out from behind him as he smiles again. “Oh, and besides providing some fun, you’ll be easier to maneuver if you’re a little less… _mobile_.”

Hangyul has somehow anticipated being shot right then and there, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, he finds himself being circled by Wooseok, who is attaching the cables to the wires around him right now.

“You had months with Wooseok,” the taller man watching them speaks once again, directing his words at Hangyul. “And _you_ passed along intel to him, but poor you, he told us everything you told him.”

Hangyul, despite struggling, furrows his brows at this, because he’s sure as hell what he said isn’t true. This doesn’t add up _._ He never told Wooseok anything about the job. He never passed along any intel. Why does Wooseok keep spewing facts that aren’t true? What _exactly_ is going on?

“To be fair,” Wooseok hums as he continues attaching the cables, “I enjoyed every minute of the job.”

Hangyul feels the words tear into him like sharp knives _._ “Bastard.” _How dare he_.

“You’ll enjoy this, too,” the tall man laughs, clearly amused by their small talk. He nods again to his guard waiting by the machine. The latter picks up the bucket from the cart’s lower shelf, and suddenly, a wall of water smacks into him and Yohan.

The guard then reaches for the dial, but Wooseok blocks his path, stepping in front of him. “No. Let me.”

Hangyul clenches his jaw. He knows this is definitely going to hurt. But he will survive. He _has_ to. Between his military experience, and his time at the NIS training ground honing his skills, he knows what he needs to do to get through this.

He hears the click of the dial to his left, and his muscles stiffen. Then a shot of electricity... Pain sears through his body, rattling his bones to the marrow. When it cuts off, his teeth are chattering.

“Still feel like you’re in charge?” Wooseok smirks, “Maybe you’d like another.”

Hangyul says nothing - does nothing but look hard at Wooseok as he tries to breathe.

Wooseok meets his eyes, seemingly enjoying bringing him immense pain. “So tough. I used to love it when you begged,” he adds.

Resentment thickens the air between them. Funny, really, this part that is between the two of them – men who spent so much time together, yet knew absolutely _nothing_ about each other.

Wooseok’s body stands between him and the machine. Just enough space that he can see the dial.

Hangyul must have been shocked to his core for him to see things. No way was the dial turned up _that_ high on the last hit. The shot burned, made his teeth slam together and his muscles clench, but he has experienced worse at lower volts… unless-

“Hyung,” he weakly calls out, realizing what Wooseok might be doing, and amidst his doubts, he wants to plead out the only thing in his mind (and heart) right at that moment: _I still believe in you._

But Hangyul can’t bring himself to say it. He hopes, though, that the look in his eyes is enough to reach him.

Wooseok seemed to be affected at least, Hangyul insists he saw his eyes waver somehow, but not even a split second passes until it’s… gone.

Maybe, he is just imagining things. He wants to think he has _that_ effect on Wooseok, but sure enough, he must’ve been the only one who thinks that way. Ever since the very beginning.

And maybe, he is really stupid. Stupidly in love with the wrong person.

“You are so _weak_.” Wooseok punctuates his words with another shot from the machine. The second hit proves stronger than the first. His muscles freeze and his breath hitches.

After what feels like ages, the buzzing stops. His body slumps against the chair. If only he can just get a bit more space between the bindings and his skin. If only he can squeeze his hand out, he can escape this hell.

“They can take more than that,” the tall man points at the machine. “Higher, longer.”

Another flick, and electricity runs through him again, interrupting his train of thoughts. This time, it doesn’t stop. Instead, it arcs an incredible pitch, straining his flagging composure.

“As much as we’ve gained from our Wooseok here,” the tall man starts, “I believe there are still some _things_ you haven’t told him yet… The real classified stuff. I want you to spill everything you know about NIS.” A small smile forms on his lips. Hangyul feels like throwing up. “This pain won’t stop until you do.”

Hangyul reminds himself to stay strong. No matter what happens. “You know what?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

The tall man’s mood turns sour at his words, as if he had enough of playing with some little kids. “Fine. Have it your way. Do it again, Wooseok.”

The electric current tears a burning swath through Hangyul again. His muscles lock, his arms jerk, and his jaw nearly cracks from the force of his teeth snapping together.

The surge cuts off but he keeps heaving, trying to draw in gulps of air as his lungs shudder with pain.

“If you’re not going to say anything, we can at least have fun watching you scream.”

Another jolt.

This time, he screams.

“I _love_ seeing men like you on their knees.” The tall man coldly laughs. “You’re all so self-conceited until you’re broken. It’s been ages since I’ve enjoyed myself this much...”

Still, Hangyul holds strong. He _must_ hold strong.

“Well, as fun as this is, it’s time to move forward,” the tall man interrupts after quite a moment - of which still felt like years for Hangyul. He delivers his next line with a chilling smile. “It’s time to send the boys in.”

Wooseok perks up at his boss’ remark. “Give me a few more minutes to play,” he says.

“We’re on a timeline, honey,” he glances at his phone as he contemplates. “…but okay. I’ll walk slowly. Consider it a thank-you for a job well done.”

As he turns to leave, Hangyul calls out to him, “Wait.”

“Yes, bub?”

“When I see you again, I will kill you.”

“Is that so?” the tall man grins, his eyes forming into crescent moons. “A shame you won’t be seeing me again, then. I _so_ would look forward to that meeting.”

His footsteps retreat until only the four of them remain. Silence envelops them, suffocating everyone in the room for the most part.

Yohan spits on the ground in front of Wooseok. “Coward.”

“Name-calling... Impressive.” Wooseok moves to kneel behind Hangyul.

“Wait,” the guard from earlier pushes himself from the wall he has been leaning against the whole time, and takes a few steps toward them. Even Hangyul had almost forgotten about him. “What are you doing,” the man asks, directed at Wooseok.

“Relax.” Wooseok’s voice is soothing, and he smiles as he holds up a hand to calm the guard. “I’m tightening the wire. I want this wire to hurt even more.”

From behind, Hangyul feels a tug and a pull. The wire around his chest tightens… but the one holding his hand _loosens_. He can bend his wrists. No way Wooseok – or whoever he really is, maybe ‘Wooseok’ is a fake name – would make that sort of miscalculation.

He wiggles his numb fingers. Nothing about this makes sense, Hangyul ponders. Wooseok has tortured and kidnapped him, but he is also loosening his bonds and spewing out bad intel… Confusion fills his mind as he tries to connect the dots. Is _he_ actually an ally? Or is this an act _again_?

Right then, there’s the other sound. Faint, but distinct. The screwing of metal on metal. The guard takes his spot by the machine. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

“Just a second.” Wooseok moves around from behind him to face the younger.

Hangyul is close enough to touch him. He debates on what to do on this situation; he has to turn the tables around somehow. Should he try to get through to him now that his boss is gone?

Or, better yet, _grab his gun_. The wires are just loose enough. He has no idea why Wooseok slipped up like this, but it’s not an opportunity he plans to let pass him by. He strikes suddenly, ripping free from his bonds, the chair still tied to his chest, as he grabs Wooseok’s gun. A shoulder blow later, and he has knocked Wooseok down to the ground.

“What the-“

Hangyul turns and fires at the guard, but the guard is also fast on his feet. The bullets barely clip him.

 _Shit_.

The guard barrels into him, sending him sprawling to the ground, the gun flying from his grasp. “Damn you!” He shouts as he raises a fist to strike Hangyul, when–

BANG!

Wooseok holds his gun once again, the smoking barrel aimed directly at them.

“What the fuck?” is what Yohan only manages to utter at that moment.

The once breathing guard is now lying on the floor, lifeless, a bullet lodged in the center of his forehead. Blood trickles down the side of his head and pools on the floor beneath him.

Sure enough, Hangyul feels as stunned as Yohan sounds. His gaze drifts to the silencer on Wooseok’s gun snapping to the latter’s face as he snips the wire around Hangyul’s chest. The last of the punishing restraint eases as he scrambles out of the chair. He still wonders when his computer geek boyfriend became such a damn good expert shooter.

“We don’t have much time.” Wooseok has just barely snipped Yohan’s wire when Yohan jumps up and grabs his gun. Without hesitation, he body-slams Wooseok into the wall.

“You _bastard_.” He grits out, with one hand holding Wooseok’s neck. With the other, his gun.

Wooseok struggles, but Yohan’s clearly been holding back a reserve of strength. He looks at the only other breathing man in the room, his expression softening as he calls out to him, “Gyul… Listen to me.”

Yohan further presses his gun to the side of Wooseok’s head. Wooseok freezes at the sound of the gun cocking. “Shut up. You’re _dead_.”

“Shit,” Wooseok visibly panics, pleading to his only possible savior at this moment. “Gyul, please… Stop him...”

For a split second, Hangyul doesn’t see the villain who stood over him, gleefully torturing him and Yohan. He sees _Wooseok_ , the man he spent almost a year of his life with. Begging for his life.

“ _Please_ …”

Hangyul doesn’t know what to do. Should he pull Yohan off of Wooseok? But what if Wooseok is really an enemy? What if he’s just acting again? He has fooled him before and he can’t even tell at all if the Wooseok in front of him is genuine. Was Wooseok _ever_ genuine to him?

Yet he knows deep inside, he can’t bear Wooseok dying in front of him. Heck, he can’t bear the thought of him dead. Surely, there has to be a way, right? Right. Of course, they can take him into custody. Tell Yohan to wait until they have more info.

“Yohan, hold on,” Hangyul starts. “We still don’t know everything that’s going on here.”

“We know plenty! This guy _is_ the enemy. We have to take him out while we still have the chance.”

“You don’t understand!” Wooseok interrupts.

Yohan rounds on Wooseok, his eyes flashing with fury. “ _You_ don’t get to speak. This guy is dangerous, Hangyul. We can’t risk letting him call for backup.”

“But… he knows things he shouldn’t,” Hangyul swallows the lump in his throat as he tries to reason with him. “And he was clearly feeding them false information...”

“He knows those things because he was working _with_ the terrorists.” Yohan abruptly turns his head to look at him. “And he fed them false info because he wanted to impress them. I know you think you loved this guy, but he was using you.”

Hangyul winces at the harshness and truth of his words. Just then, he sees Wooseok jerk his head at the pocket of his shirt. “Just look there, Gyul... There’s _something_ there.”

“I said I didn’t want to hear anything else from you,” Yohan issues the order as he jams the gun tighter against Wooseok’s head.

“You’re not listening-“

“Shut the fuck up, or I will kill you. In front of him.”

“Yohan, calm down...” Hangyul puts his hand on Yohan’s shoulders.

“God, listen to me, Hangyul!” Yohan snaps back. “This guy may have been your boyfriend, but he’s a terrorist! At the very least, he supplies terrorists with intel and bodies!”

“That’s not true,” Wooseok retorts.

“He delivered you right to them, Hangyul,” Yohan angrily points out. “Used your feelings for him to do it!”

“That’s not what-“

Wooseok isn’t able to finish his sentence when Yohan speaks again, “One more noise, and this bullet goes into your brain.” There’s no mistaking the threat. Yohan’s finger slides onto the trigger as he makes it. “ _I_ didn’t fuck you. I don’t care what happens to you.”

Wooseok stares hard at Hangyul’s pocket again. And so, slowly – very slowly – Hangyul reaches inside his shirt pocket. From it he retrieves a small, thin, black square, barely a quarter of an inch in diameter. “What is this?”

“A specialized drive.” Wooseok immediately responds, quite relieved. He must have slipped it into his pocket when he was doing, um, _things_ to him earlier.

All the information clashes and knocks against itself, making Hangyul’s mind spin. His computer expert boyfriend, an agent of a shadowy organization, slipping him a secret drive. It’s all too much. “Explain.”

“It’s got to be a tracker of some kind,” Yohan suggests.

“It’s _not_ ,” Wooseok says firmly, his gaze locked with Hangyul’s own. “Don’t mess with it. It’s encrypted. You couldn’t break the code even if you wanted to… You just need to get that drive back to Mr. Han intact.”

Hangyul’s expression goes blank at the mention of his own boss’ name.

Han. _Han Seungwoo._

The man who runs the unit in which Hangyul is under. The second-in-command in the entire NIS. Few people know his first name because he never uses it. Over the years, he’s become known simply as Mr. Han.

Yohan swears under his breath and turns to Hangyul. “How much pillow talk did you two have?”

Hangyul scoffs, “None. That’s the point. None of that shit he or the man said was true.”

“So, he was trying to impress his boss,” Yohan rolls his eyes, before turning his head back to look at Wooseok again, “showing off, and pretending he knew more about you than he did. Who gives a shit?”

“I know everything,” Wooseok says, his resolve unwavering as ever.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Hangyul asks, having enough of Wooseok’s mind games.

“Nothing,” Yohan pipes in before Wooseok can have the chance to respond first. “He’ll say whatever he needs to save his life.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Wooseok holds his gaze, ignoring Yohan’s remark. “You need to go now, Gyul.”

“Not until you explain what you mean.”

“Gyul,” Wooseok reaches out to grab Hangyul’s hand, but the latter pulls away. Wooseok deflates, shaking his head. “ _I can’t_.”

“…You don’t seem to value your life now,” Hangyul coldly remarks.

“Lots of hard work could turn into nothing, Gyul. There are things going on here that you don’t understand-”

“So help me understand, damn it!” Hangyul snaps. “If you don’t give me a reason not to smash this thing, I’ll crush it under my foot.”

“Wait, don’t!” Wooseok closes his eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath, before opening his eyes again. “I-I’m an NIS agent.”

Yohan scoffs, his mouth curving into a displeased smile. “Now I’m going to shoot you just because I want to.”

“Nice try, hyung. Who are you really working for?”

“ _Him_ ,” Yohan pipes in again. “That man from earlier! That much is pretty clear.”

“Yohan, please,” Hangyul turns to him, tiredness evident in his voice, “let him say a few words.”

Yohan just shrugs, “Whatever.”

“Look, Yohan, if it still bothers you, I never talked with Wooseok about you. I never even talked about work. My real work. Other than knowing my address because it was his address too, all that talk about me spilling intel was pure bullshit.”

“You… might have let something slip by accident,” Yohan reasons. “You trusted the guy. Your guard was down and… ah, shit. You know what I’m saying. You’re only human, after all.”

“No,” it is Wooseok who defends him this time, “I gave him false info because I was trying to get a message out to Gyul.”

“Then what game are you playing at, huh? Mercenary? Professional liar?!” Hangyul’s voice cracks. He clears his throat, speaking gentler, “Whatever it is, you’ve stepped into some deep trouble. If that man realizes you lied to him, he’s going to kill you.”

“Not if _I_ kill him first,” Yohan says.

Then comes a beat of silence. Wooseok feels like he needs to speak, say something to prove his innocence. And so he does. “ _Lee Jinhyuk._ That man from earlier... I’ve been undercover for 16 months in Centa Juno. He’s- he's in charge of the group right now. The old leader’s son.”

 _Centa Juno_. Hangyul has certainly heard of them before. An international kidnapping ring ran by a wealthy and well-connected family. They make their living gathering intel and delivering bodies – sometimes alive and sometimes not. Many in the NIS _deny_ of CJ’s existence, but there are those on the fringes who speak of them in hushed whispers.

“No fucking way...” Yohan lowers his gun, quite dumfounded with what he heard.

“How do you know any of this information?”

“I told you, I work in the same organization as you do.” Wooseok then turns to Yohan, “Now, I need you to shoot me.”

“Absolutely," Yohan recovers quickly, raising his gun back up. Of course he seems more than happy to oblige.

“Stop, what the fuck are you saying?!”

“I have to maintain my cover, Gyul. The only way to do that _is_ to say our friend here,” Wooseok points to the dead man on the ground, “got sloppy; he slipped up, you got away and I got shot.”

“This is insane.”

“Do it now,” Wooseok orders Yohan once again.

“I can’t promise you won’t lose a lot of blood.”

Hangyul tugs harshly at his own hair, making a mess of it more. “Both of you, STOP!”

“But he’s the one working for the enemy!”

“Gyul,” Wooseok composes himself. “I know I haven’t given you much reason to trust me, but I need you to listen. We’re out of time. Jinhyuk’s going to come back here with a group of guards and haul you away.”

“ _You_ led this Jinhyuk guy to Hangyul!”

“They already knew about him!” Wooseok shouts, leaving the other two speechless. He sighs after, calming himself down. “There’s a _traitor_ in NIS and I promise you it’s _not_ me, I made contact to protect you.”

“That’s it,” Hangyul heaves a breath. “You’re coming with us.”

“Not an option,” Wooseok counters.

“You come and we test your story.”

“Then my cover is blown and _you_ will still be a target.”

Hangyul closes his eyes for a brief moment, considering his words. “...After everything that’s happened, how _else_ can I trust you?”

Wooseok is silent for a while. “You know how missions work. I have a job to do.”

“So do I.” Hangyul reaches for his arm but Wooseok dodges around him, moving right up to Yohan.

“Shoot me.”

“Stand down, Yohan,” Hangyul firmly says. He quickly catches Wooseok’s arm and twists it to his back, looping the wire that had once bound them around both his hands and pulling tight.

Wooseok struggles, “I’m trying to save you!” 

“I thought you were worried about your cover.”

“You thought I would have lowered the settings on the machine, or untied you, if I cared about my life _over_ yours?!!”

“This… is, um, very touching,” Yohan throws in, “but we should go.”

“You know-“

“ _I_ _don’t_ ,” Hangyul interrupts Wooseok before he could say anything further. “I don’t know anything about you. Don’t pretend I do.”

Icy cold water engulfs Hangyul as he plunges himself into Han River. Then, with powerful strides, he pulls himself toward the surface, until finally he bursts free, fresh air flooding his lungs.

“That was too close,” Hangyul breathes out, floating in the water, but it’s a second before he realizes that nobody is responding.

He knows he doesn’t have long to act; he doesn’t even give so much a second thought when he finds himself swimming back down to go get Wooseok, counting the precious seconds he has already lost.

It doesn’t take him long to spot him, floating motionless amidst the seaweeds. Hangyul panics, a rush of thoughts filling his mind. Did he hit his head? Or maybe one of the gunmen was able to shoot him on their way down? _Fuck this. There’s not much time._

He pulls himself toward Wooseok as quickly as he can, his lungs screaming with the effort. His hands grip under the older’s shoulders and steady his head as he swims upwards. It _is_ difficult doing so, but he reminds himself that he’s trained for this. _‘Wooseok’s life is on the line,’_ the thought is what propels him upward, even when he feels his lungs burn past the point of endurance.

It feels like hours until finally, the two of them breach the surface. Wooseok stirs, his eyes flickering open. “Gyul-” He coughs water right when he opens his mouth to speak.

“Are you alright?” Hangyul asks, concern clearly transparent in his eyes and trembling voice. But it’s as if he realizes he should stop doing that- that he shouldn’t have searched for him underwater, nor saved his drowning ass, nor even just cared for him at all. His trust is broken into a thousand glass shards, and walking on them even when his feet bleed is just going to hurt him all the more.

His expression changes to something colder and unreadable, as if he never said anything close to him being worried about Wooseok a few seconds ago. Wooseok knows him enough, though. Knows him better _than_ anyone else.

The older is about to respond and reach for him, when Yohan emerges in between them. Hangyul turns to his back without a word again, swimming his way back to land - with Yohan on his trail - upon determining that everyone is safe.

Wooseok harshly wipes the hot tear that fell down his eyes as he silently watches Hangyul’s figure drift away from him, and pulls himself to follow them shortly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick questions: should we trust wooseok or not? should hangyul trust him or not? do you also believe what he said?


	4. mazes of truth

_About an hour ago._

“Wait, what should we do about that chip?” Yohan asks as Hangyul tightens the wire binding Wooseok’s hands. “If it’s a tracker, we’d be giving away our position to all of CJ. They’ll know where our hideout is.”

“Gyul, that information is vital. I risked my cover and my life getting it. You need to bring it back to Mr. Han,” Wooseok pleads.

Hangyul knows Yohan has a point. A very good one. And if Wooseok is lying, they’d be risking not only their lives, but the agency as well. But then, what if Wooseok _is_ telling the truth? He’d be wasting months of hard work and effort if he destroys it. Worse, they’d be back to square one in tracking this syndicate. "We...we bring it back.”

Yohan looks at him in disbelief. “Are you sure about this, Hangyul?” 

“Worst case scenario, we burn a safe house.”

Yohan scoffs, “That isn’t exactly a low-cost result.”

“Better than what we _will_ lose if he’s telling the truth. This intel could save lives.”

His eyes meet Wooseok’s, and a weak smile forms on the older’s lips. “You’re making the right choice, Gyul.”

Hangyul averts his gaze away from him. “Don’t make me regret trusting you for this.” He takes the gun in Yohan’s hand and holsters it. “Now, let’s get out of here.”

With a few quiet steps, the three of them make their way out the door, and into the hallway lining the interior of the base. Hangyul is on the lead aiming his gun cautiously in front of him, and the other two follows him closely from behind. 

Yohan harshly tugs Wooseok by the arm every now and then, making sure that the older will not do anything close to funny. Even though Hangyul has his back turned, he can tell Yohan is never going to trust his (ex-) boyfriend anytime sooner.

A few more steps, and the sound of guards laughing amongst themselves tells them that the enemy is close. "We can’t afford to make any mistakes here,” Yohan mutters, just loud enough for Hangyul and Wooseok to hear.

Hangyul stops in his tracks when they reach an intersection in the hallway. “Which way should we go?” 

“Head to the roof,” Wooseok responds. “There’s a door down the right hallway, and a staircase leading up. You’ll have to get past some armed guards, but it’s your best bet.”

“I don’t buy it. This guy’s trying to lead us into a trap,” Yohan counters. “We should go left. It’s quieter that way. I’m willing to bet we’ll run into fewer guards.”

A beat of silence passes. Hangyul turns his head only to find the other two guys throwing death glares at each other, their jaws clenched, both of them seemingly waiting for his decision. Hangyul feels the tension in the atmosphere become a little more suffocating, and sighs. _Since when did this become a competition?_ "Let’s go left.”

“Your stubbornness is going to get the both of you killed,” Wooseok hisses.

Hangyul doesn’t say anything to that, focusing back on the path as they trudge quietly along the mostly-empty hallway and past a few closed doors.

But then it leads straight to a dead end.

“Crap, looks like this is not the right way,” Yohan curses, looking apologetically at Hangyul. “Sorry, I thought for sure this bastard was trying to lead us into a trap.”

“Are you two finally ready to listen to me?”

Hangyul turns to answer Wooseok when, suddenly, one of the doors opens. A guard stares at them, slack-jawed, and makes a move for his gun when it finally dawns on him that their prisoners are escaping. Hangyul instantly drops him with a silenced shot. “That was close,” he breathes out as he turns to Yohan. “You should grab that guy’s gun.”

“Good call.” Yohan moves to snatch up the firearm before moving back to their side in a matter of seconds.

“So, do we have to double back?” Hangyul asks Wooseok, a little glad that he has managed to be quite indifferent still.

“No," Wooseok answers right away. “Fortunately, there’s another way up. Take the door opposite the one this guy just came from, and you should be able to get to the steps.”

“Guess we have to trust him,” Yohan angrily mutters under his breath, giving only a shrug when Hangyul gives him a look. Maybe it’s something close to a _Yes, so please bear with it._ Or maybe it’s a _Not yet, we have to keep an eye on him._ Either way, they have no choice but to follow Wooseok's lead. “Bumbling through this place on our own gut feeling hasn’t done us any good.”

“I’m on your side, Yohan. You need to trust me.”

“Maybe,” Yohan grips his gun tighter. “But until I know for sure, I’m watching you.” He looks left and right, searching for more guards. 

“Lots of mercenaries here,” Hangyul attempts to change the topic. “What’s with the show of power?”

“Jinhyuk was worried you’d bring the whole team.”

“Probably a smarter move than the one I chose.”

“Since they rigged the area with explosives, no.”

Hangyul can only nod, not saying anything further, and gestures for Yohan to take the lead as the three of them continue down the hall. The door to the stairway stands partly open. One by one, they make their way up into the stairwell. They are almost midway, when all of a sudden, Hangyul nearly gasps at a throb in his chest and head. He feels pain shoot through his body. 

_Damn._

The adrenaline must be wearing off, he realizes, as he grabs the nearest bar to support himself. They messed him up pretty bad when they clocked him back at the factory. And electric torture only worsened him.

“—Hangyul!” He barely hears Yohan’s voice amidst the throbbing in his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Those blows we took hit me harder than I thought.” He opens his eyes to Wooseok and Yohan looking at him, concern written all over their faces. He sees Wooseok opening and closing his mouth, but without uttering a single word.

“We’re almost there,” Yohan assures him, “but we’re not likely to make it without sliding past a few guards. Are you okay enough to make a sprint for it?”

Hangyul doesn’t answer, can't answer, instead only taking deep breaths in hopes of calming the pain down.

“It’ll be riskier taking it slow,” Yohan continues, “but if you can’t handle it, I understand.”

Already, Hangyul can hear patrolling guards approaching from the hall. He gulps the pain away as he grips his gun tighter; steadying himself away from the bar he was leaning against. “I can handle it,” he says. “Let’s just get out of this place.”

The two of them nod at him, and he hears guards approaching as the three of them book it up the stairs. Confused shouts sound from below, but they’re already racing toward the top. One guard pokes his head out as they almost reach the doorway, but Hangyul quickly puts him down with a shot.

“Nice one,” Yohan smirks, before he raises his left hand, bringing Hangyul and Wooseok to a halt.

A second later, they hear voices – muted mumbles from the top of the staircase. Then a figure appears in front of them. He makes it two steps down before Yohan is on him, disarming him with a jab and locking him down in a stranglehold. A snap, and the man’s body goes lax. Yohan cradles his head, then lets him slide onto the steps. 

Hangyul bends down to retrieve the man’s gun. “Let’s keep moving.”

“Any chance you could let me have that?” Wooseok asks him quietly, referring to the firearm he just picked up.

“None.”

“We’re not even risking taking off your bindings,” Yohan scoffs.

Wooseok heaves a sigh. “I suppose that’s to be expected,” he mumbles softly.

Not for long, the three of them break into the sunshine. Right then, he sees a guard patrolling the roof turn a corner, headed straight for them. Hangyul gets a silenced shot off before the man can even lift his gun. He glances back at Wooseok’s side, but the crunching of footsteps alerts him. Three guards appear out of nowhere, storming towards them, and from there, he knows that any chance of them escaping undetected has been blown. This time, more gunshots ring out, bodies converging towards them, both from the rooftop and the stairs. Hangyul curses under his breath as he counts four- no, five men. 

The three of them make it towards the air-conditioning unit located the farthest from the staircase and near an edge of the rooftop, sliding across the pebbled roof of the building. “We can’t stay here,” Hangyul tells them. “Not with limited ammunition and no place to hide.”

“Five against two isn’t exactly great odds,” Yohan replies, eyeing the men running towards them from behind the air-conditioning unit.

“Give me one of the guns, Gyul,” Wooseok tries again, determination filling his eyes. “I’ll cover you.”

Can he really trust him with a gun? Hangyul grabs the pistol he placed by his waist earlier, before subtly shaking his head and leaving it be by the next second. “We can’t trust you… yet.”

“Damn it, Gyul,” Wooseok is seemingly on the string-end of his patience, too. “I know this is confusing, but if you don’t trust me, we’re going to die!” 

Yohan drops a guard with his pistol. “They’re coming out of the woodwork like ants. There’s no way we can take all of them,” he hisses under his breath. “We won’t have the time to climb down with all these guys shooting at us.”

Hangyul clenches his fist, gripping his gun tighter. He knows Yohan is right, especially with it just being the two of them in defense. Sure, he and Yohan had faced impossible odds before, but at least back then, they had decent cover. He scans the terrain, taking in his options – the guards, the roof and the Han River below.

_There’s only one option._

He suddenly breaks into a run, shouting, “Follow me! This way!”

“There’s nothing that way but water!” Wooseok shouts back, getting to his feet to follow him despite his shock.

“I hope you can swim!” 

There’s a beat of silence as Yohan and Wooseok both realize his plan, but neither stops running.

“Gyul, untie me. I can’t swim like this.”

Hangyul looks at his tied hands from the corner of his eyes. If he doesn’t untie him, he could drown, and this thought somehow made a string of ache shoot through his chest. He reaches out to him and quickly undoes his bonds, freeing his hands.

“Thanks,” Wooseok rubs his wrists soothingly, easing the pain away. He looks down at his hands as they continue their pace. “…Does this mean you finally believe me?” He asks as quietly as possible. Though, it seems Hangyul still heard him.

“I wouldn’t go that far." Hangyul hesitates over his next words, but decides to say them anyway. “But it does mean I care enough to not want you drowning.” A small smile forms on Wooseok’s lips, and he’s about to respond when they hear more men file out behind them. “If you really are an NIS agent, you’ve been trained for this. Prove to me you can survive this fall.”

“I will.”

Bullets ping around the three of them as they run. A few clip by them, but they manage to break past unscathed, jumping with all their might when they arrive at the roof’s edge. Hangyul feels his body go airborne, the sky zipping past him as water rushes to meet him. He lets out a yell that might be his last as his body plunges into the water.

And down he sinks, bullets still whizzing past, hoping beyond hope that everyone survives the plunge.

  
  
  


  


  


It doesn’t take them long to drag themselves out of the water and make it to the front of the NIS safe house. Fifty-eight minutes, to be exact. That’s how long it takes to dodge onlookers, steal a car and wind around the back roads of Seoul to the two-story cabin. Not to mention the hood thrown over covering the entirety of Wooseok’s head to keep him from tracing the way. Leave it to Yohan to go overboard covering their trail, Hangyul feels himself practically go numb from that dip.

“So I guess this is the safe house?” Wooseok’s voice is muffled against the leather.

Of course, there’s the other issue. _Kim Wooseok_. 

Hangyul can’t help but keep flipping through the memories of what came before. All those days with Wooseok. The simple things, like eating dinner, or watching soccer, even though neither of them like the sport that much. They both had little downtime, but they’d stolen hours here and there.

Now he knows what he was really up to, working in all those late nights.

“I need a bathroom,” Wooseok speaks again when no one answers him.

“I’ll see what—“

“Nope,” Yohan interrupts him. “I’m vetoing this movement right now, Hangyul. Have you forgotten that we shouldn’t believe a damn word he’s told us?”

“I can piss on the floor if you want.”

“Whatever,” Yohan rolls his eyes, and the three of them make their way inside. The interior is spacious - the perfect hideaway in the middle of the countryside. “We should’ve shot him back in that warehouse,” he grunts.

Hangyul winces as he feels the exhaustion and pain slowly creep all over his body again. “We still don’t have all the intel. That’s why we brought him here.” 

Hangyul conducts a quick sweep of the perimeter, checking that the security systems are in working order. When he gets back to the lobby, he sees Yohan alone, leaning against the wall beside a brown door and clutching a towel in his hand.

“Where’s Kim Wooseok?”

“I set him up in the interrogation room,” Yohan replies, raising his brow at the way Hangyul addressed the older, but doesn’t comment on it anymore. “I was about to head in to start asking him questions, but I waited for you.”

Hangyul reaches out for the doorknob and turns it, “I’m going to handle this one. I appreciate the assist, but this is something I have to do.” He thinks to himself that maybe, he’ll look into Wooseok’s eyes, and feel nothing. Maybe that churning need to be near Wooseok, to hear his voice, will wither and die, now that he knows what he is.

Yohan steps in front of him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Probably not... but stand down. I want a minute alone with him.”

Yohan hesitates, but then steps aside, draping his towel on Hangyul’s shoulders. “I guess I can go get changed. And, Hangyul?”

“Hm?”

“I’m just here if you need me,” he briefly smiles before disappearing into one of the rooms upstairs.

Hangyul steps inside to find Wooseok tied in a chair in the middle of the room. His hands are still by his back, and there is still a hood over his head.

Hangyul knows he has to decide now how he wants to handle this. Wooseok betrayed him, _yes_ . Manipulated and lied to him, _yes_. But when it comes to Wooseok, he can’t help but trust him still. At least, a part of him does. He pulls off his hood and stares deeply into his eyes - those eyes that he so desperately wants to believe in.

Hangyul hopes his own expression is as unreadable as it can get.

“The hood was real annoying” is all Wooseok can manage to say as silence easily surrounds them.

"A necessary precaution.” 

“I know,” Wooseok’s mood visibly drops as he looks down his knees. From the looks of it, Yohan has let Wooseok dry off by the heater in the room, but without changing his clothes.

Hangyul feels a twinge of guilt. “Yohan tied you up..."

“Yeah, that guy has some serious trust issues.”

“You _did_ kidnap us.”

There’s a beat of silence before Wooseok responds. “But I… I did everything I could to get you out of there.”

Hangyul slides the towel from his shoulder and drops it on his lap. “Well, we have one bit of good news. You can swim.”

“Any chance of… getting dry clothes?”

“I’ll talk to Yohan, see if he has an extra.”

“Thanks, Gyul,” Wooseok weakly smiles, looking down at the towel on his lap. It’s comfortably warm. “I imagine you’re still pissed at me.”

“Well, yes... but it’s not because I don’t believe you.” Wooseok lifts his head to meet his eyes, his face lighting up with what seems to be a glint of hope. “Well, you haven’t given me a lot of reasons to trust you, either. Our entire relationship has been built on an elaborate lie. I don’t even know the real you.”

“But…?” Wooseok asks when he doesn’t say anything further.

“But, I think you’re on our side.” Hangyul smiles bitterly. “I shouldn’t think that, right? Yohan definitely doesn’t. But... I do.”

“Why?”

Hangyul lets his eyes close for a few seconds, and when he opens them again, maybe, just a little, he recognizes that part of him that wants to tear up and break down and hold Wooseok again in his arms. "Because you still mean something to me.”

Seeing Wooseok right there with his gentlest gaze makes him vulnerable of just letting his heart out. But Hangyul holds himself back.

“I don’t know if the you that means something to me is even real, or if you’ve been playing with my head this whole time.” He sees Wooseok shake his head, and he takes a step toward him, closing the gap a little between them. The older’s closeness sets his nerves on fire and his heart racing. "But still... still, I believe you. Maybe that makes me an idiot.”

“This side of you is part of why... why I fell in love with you,” Wooseok mumbles softly, holding his gaze.

Hangyul gathers enough courage to detach away from his eyes, turning his back as he walks over to the other seat across the room. “Was that part of the deception, too?”

“Gyul…” He hears Wooseok’s voice crack. “I swear, none of that was fake.”

 _Alright_ , Hangyul takes a long exhale. Maybe none of that was fake. Except for the parts that were. Except for his entire reason for approaching Hangyul in that bar.

Hangyul tries to clear his head of doubts, but they cling to him, much like his partly-wet clothes clinging to his body right now. Wooseok may be telling the truth about being undercover, about them being on the same side, but that _doesn’t_ change the fact that their entire relationship was predicated on a lie, does it?

“So, what now?” Hangyul asks as he takes his seat opposite of him.

“That’s the hard part. I have to go back undercover.” Wooseok chews on his lip as he looks down, but when he meets Hangyul's eyes again, the determination is back in his eyes. “I’m sorry, but we have to work out the rest after.”

What little air is in the room vanishes. The low hum from the lights matches the one vibrating in Hangyul’s head. “The rest?”

“ _Us_.”

Hangyul straightens in his seat, considering the familiar face in front of him now etched with lines of worry and sorrow. “I wish there was an ‘us’.”

Wooseok’s lips form a thin line. “Did I... Did I dream what you whispered to me back then? That you’ll always keep me safe?”

The question rips into Hangyul, his mind wandering back in time. _“I’ll always keep you safe… No matter what happens, I’ll stand by your side,"_ he had said, and he remembers Wooseok’s hand reaching out and touching his own as he spoke. At that time, Hangyul had thought it was just a twitch in his sleep.

“You thought I was asleep, but I heard you,” Wooseok bites his lip, as if willing some threatening tears to go away. “Did you mean it?”

Four words too many.

A clawing sense of loss builds within him, seeming to cut off his airways. Unable to see or think, Hangyul staggers blindly out of the room, leaving Wooseok behind as he vaguely hears him call out his name. 

  
  
  


Hangyul finds Yohan sitting by the couch as he exits to the lobby, a pile of folded clothes on his lap, and his fingers absentmindedly thrumming over it. “Yohan?” He calls out, pulling the other out of his thoughts.

“Oh, here are your clothes." Yohan stands up and walks over to him, handing him the clothes. “Go get changed.”

“Thanks." Hangyul tries to smile as he receives the bundle. He has walked past Yohan when he asks, "Can you take over?”

“Oh, okay. Then, are you going to stay outside and listen in? Might catch him in a lie if he thinks you’re not there.”

Hangyul considers his words for a moment, before nodding his head. His clothes are wet, but not dripping wet; they mostly dried off along the drive to this house.

“Fair warning, I’m not going to go easy on him,” Yohan adds as he reaches for the doorknob. “I’m still pissed about that electrocution.”

“Just... just don’t hurt him.” Yohan eyes him warily. “There’s still a lot we don’t know for sure,” Hangyul manages to reason without stammering. He mentally pats the back of his head for that. His friend seems to have bought his words, at least. 

“Okay. If I get too bad, you can step in.”

“Deal.” 

With that, Yohan opens the door and steps into the room. The soundproof room is built to allow sound out, but not in, meaning that while Wooseok is unable to hear what happens on the outside, Hangyul is still able to hear everything said inside.

  


  


“By the time this is done, you’re going to wish I’d put a bullet in your brain” is the first thing Yohan says after he closes the door.

“You had your chance," Wooseok replies, quite making sure to show the disappointment in his voice to the figure who stepped inside of his room this time. He'd wished for Hangyul to come back instead.

Yohan leans against the door, crossing his arms. “I’m not going to let you get into his head.”

“He still cares about me.”

“You’re pretty sure about yourself." Yohan scoffs. "Some might call that false hope.”

“Hangyul and I...” The words stir something painful in Wooseok's chest and his fists curl and clench behind him. “We’re not over.”

“Yeah, right. Pretty sure it ended when you joined the other side.”

“I’m not on the other side." Wooseok emphasizes every word, willing himself to not lose his temper right then and there. “And what I _have_ with Hangyul isn’t a lie.”

“ _Had,_ ” Yohan corrects him. “You blew it. You’re on the outs with Lee Jinhyuk and with us. You know what happens now?”

“You finally wake up and realize I wasn’t lying about me being an agent?”

Yohan exhales, shaking his head. “Hangyul moves on." He smirks, also making sure to emphasize every word, and Wooseok would have beaten the shit out of him if not for his bindings. “He finds _someone_ he deserves.”

“Shut up," Wooseok says through gritted teeth, still trying to keep himself from lashing out. He won’t show Yohan how much his words affected him, how it sent arrows through his heart, and made it sink to the deepest of seas. “Says the man who didn’t even know his best friend lived with me.”

“Keep talking all you want." Yohan puts his hands in both of his pockets, jaw clenching at his words. “But you know what? You already _lost_.”

  


__

“Contact Mr. Han. He’ll be able to check my identity and verify.”

__

“Give me a good reason to bother him.”

__

“Because you’re both in serious danger of blowing my cover—”

__

It’s all too much, and Hangyul feels the throb in his head ache harder. With thoughts of Wooseok still pounding through his head, he pushes himself off the wall and makes his way upstairs.

Hangyul wishes the hot water could wash away everything that has happened in the past twenty-four hours. He tries his best to cleanse his mind of Wooseok’s memory. Of their last conversation before he left home the previous morning. 

Wooseok isn’t the man he fell for. He is a liar who nearly fried them to death _._ It’s what he tells himself again and again.

But there’s still a side that nags at him; the possibility that maybe, Wooseok _is_ what he says he is – a double agent.

He steps out of the shower and dries off, his mind spinning with bitter grudges and what ifs as he changes his clothes into something more comfortable. Just a pair of white shirt and jeans. 

The alarm beeps and the light above the security panel by the door flickers. A familiar pattern: blue, then green. Then he hears a familiar voice ring down the hall. “Hey guys! Miss me?”

  
  
  


Hangyul returns to find Yohan and another man, aside from Wooseok, inside the interrogation room. The said man being Lee Eunsang, the data reconnaissance expert under the same division as his in NIS.

Eunsang holds a cookie in his hand, and takes a bite before speaking again. “Always happy to come in on my five minutes off,” he grins, gleeful as ever. Seeing as the entire team is supposed to be on call 24/7, that remark qualifies as a joke to Eunsang.

“Hey, Eunsang,” Hangyul greets him. “Nice to see you.”

“Wish I could say the same, but you look like hell, hyung.” After a quick look around, he shoots him a questioning look. “You and Yohan-hyung showered together?”

Yohan snorts. “Not my thing.”

“Heh,” Eunsang smiles, pushes his glasses up his nose, then moves to stand in front of Wooseok. “So, who is this and why is he tied to a chair?”

“Hangyul’s boyfriend." Yohan replies before Hangyul can say anything.

“Funny,” Eunsang makes faces, turning to Yohan as he does.

“Not kidding.”

“Wait- what?!”

“Hard to keep up, isn’t it?” Yohan shrugs.

In his casual attire, Yohan looks almost as if he’s had a relaxing afternoon. Hangyul doubts he looks anywhere near that calm. Forget all his training and drills, Wooseok has his insides churning and his head buzzing.

“I get an emergency call and now a newsflash,” Eunsang puts his hand on his mouth in shock. “I mean, of course, that part of you having a boyfriend isn’t much of a surprise, hyung.”

Hangyul heaves a sigh, questioning why in the hell did he even bother trying to keep his private life to himself.

“Why is he soaking wet?” Eunsang asks again, pointing at Wooseok like he is some object, not alive nor breathing nor able to see them. “And why is he here and not on lockdown?”

“We threw him in the river.” Hangyul is the one who responds this time.

“Seems like a weird way to do the deed, but if that’s your thing, then whatever!” Eunsang laughs, his eyes going crescent behind his lenses.

Yohan seemingly gets what he means instantly, and moves to hit Eunsang on the back of his head. He pats the younger's head right after, though, mumbling an ‘oh, sorry, was that too much?’ 

Hangyul only shakes his head at their antics. "This is about a mission, Eunsang-ah.”

“The mistake wasn’t dumping this guy in the water,” Yohan adds. “It was fishing him out again.”

“I’m still confused about the boyfriend thing,” Eunsang pouts as he rubs the back of his head.

“Ignore that,” Hangyul says. “We have a bigger issue. Kim Wooseok claims to be an NIS agent.”

“I _am_ an NIS agent,” Wooseok speaks up after being silent in a long while, feeling that he has to correct Hangyul's words. “A double agent.”

 _We have yet to see any proof, though_ , Hangyul thinks, but chooses not to say it out loud. He’d rest easier if he had evidence. “Then, who’s your NIS contact?”

Wooseok stares at him for a moment. “Choi Byungchan.”

“Choi Byungchan?” Yohan asks mockingly, “How come we have never heard of this Choi Byungchan?”

“Besides the fact that I highly doubt you know every single higher-up in NIS by name?”

“Try me.”

Wooseok rolls his eyes. “His assignments are _top secret_. Only the ones with the highest-level access work with him.”

Yohan looks at him incredulously, “And that’s _you_?”

“I’m a double agent,” Wooseok repeats in a matter-of-fact tone. “So I would say I work _for_ him, not _with_ him. But yes, I’m one of the few that knows about him.”

“So let me get this straight." Yohan now pinches the bridge of his nose in distress. “The only thing you have as proof that you’re working against the enemy is the name of a man we’ve never heard of, and have no way of getting in contact with?”

“Talk to Mr. Han. He knows him.”

“You keep saying that!” Yohan grumbles, his voice raising a little bit higher.

“Because it’s true!”

“Um,” Eunsang clears his throat amidst the tension, waving his phone in the air. “Mr. Han’s already been made aware of the situation.”

“That’s great.” Wooseok visibly relaxes. “Once he clears up this mess, you can let me out of here and—“

“You’re not going anywhere,” Hangyul interrupts.

“You’re going to get yourself killed if you don’t listen to me.”

Wooseok uses that tone he is using when he’s at the limit of his patience, Hangyul knows, and he also happens to know all about _resisting_ interrogation. About redirecting conversations and avoiding answers by playing on emotions. He’s not buying any of it from Wooseok. “As if you care about that.”

Wooseok’s lips form a thin line, and Hangyul just looks at him, despite his mind filling with so many questions and things to say at once. “Do you know how many chances I’ve taken to protect you, Gyul?”

To be really honest, Hangyul feels like he has woken up into some kind of alternate reality with the question. His boyfriend, who likes action movies and limits his news consumption to whatever interesting links he finds on social media, is talking like he’s been his bodyguard for the past nine months. “I’ve never asked you to.”

Little inconsistencies of the past are suddenly starting to make sense. Late-night emergency calls to fix servers. Little talk about friends or family. Wooseok’s willingness to keep their relationship private, despite being more comfortable with people knowing than Hangyul ever was. 

But whoever Wooseok is working for, both of their realities are the same. They both told stories to conceal who they really are. They are both _alone_. Not by choice, but by necessity.

“Wait, he really is Hangyul-hyung’s boyfriend?” Eunsang’s voice cuts through his train of thoughts.

“I think it’s safe to say _ex_ ,” Yohan replies.

Wooseok seems to ignore them, only setting his eyes for Hangyul. “Gyul, you know the kind of people we’re dealing with in CJ,” he says, calmer this time. “I need to act quickly.”

“CJ?!” Eunsang asks again, and covers his mouth when he realizes he has asked too loud- and not because he has asked one too many questions. Nobody really stops him, anyway. He puts his hands down and lowers his voice, “He’s mixed up with Centa Juno, too?”

“Apparently,” Yohan answers him again.

“So they’re real and not just some training exercise…” 

“Yes, they _are_ real, and they’re lethal,” Wooseok steals a quick glance at Eunsang before looking at Hangyul again. “I need to go back in.”

Hangyul gives him one last look before he turns to his feet to go out of the room. He’s going to find some evidence. Surely, there has to be something in the database about him. That is, if Wooseok is telling them the truth.

“I really didn’t know they planned to take you today, Gyul! If I had, I would have-“

“You would what?” Hangyul pauses by the door, but opting to not face him still and turn his back.

“I... would’ve done anything to keep you out of danger.”

Wooseok's words slice right through him, cutting straight to his ego and slashing it open. “Is that why you helped torture me?”

“That was to save your life,” Wooseok answers almost immediately.

“ _Great._ I appreciate you going through all that trouble for me.” Hangyul wants to believe Wooseok’s story. To believe that not all of it was a lie. _But how? "_ You’re saying this because you care about me, right?”

“Yes.”

“So... coming into the bar that night was all a coincidence.”

A moment of silence.

“ _Right_. Just as I thought,” Hangyul mutters under his breath before leaving the room, the door slamming as it closes behind him.

  


  


It doesn’t take him long to go to the monitor room upstairs and sort through the files. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have top-level access from there, so he can’t look through everything, but he can at least go over personnel files.

The more data he sifts through, the more Hangyul feels his stomach drop. 

“There’s no record of him in the database,” he mumbles to himself.

He starts to look for him in both the internal and external affairs of the service, anywhere in the agency, but there’s still _nothing_ . It really looks like everything that Wooseok has said is a lie.

A tightness in his chest makes it difficult to breathe. 

The next thing he knows, Hangyul finds himself heading back to the interrogation room, not stopping until he is standing in front of Wooseok again, fists clenched on his sides.

“Your excuse is a bust. Want to try again? Or should I show you the kind of things real agents learn in training?”

“You get how this works, Gyul! Only a limited number of people know about my assignment.” Wooseok looks at him fully in the eyes, and finally tells him everything after a deep breath. “Okay, listen. I am an agent for NIS, transferred to the CJ unit under Choi Byungchan. I went undercover for CJ for quite a while. Then they sent me to target you. They… they knew you were into guys because of the traitor.” Wooseok pauses briefly to look at Eunsang, now seated on the chair across the room. It’s only then that Hangyul realizes Yohan is not in the room.

“Why are you looking at me?” Eunsang stops eating his cookie midway as his eyes widen in shock.

“Are you accusing Eunsang?”

“No,” Wooseok looks back at Hangyul. “I’m not saying _he_ is the traitor. I’m just saying he’s an _unknown_ and we have to be careful.”

“Well, now, I really don’t like this guy, hyung,” Eunsang huffs.

Wooseok ignores his comment. “Gyul, believe me. I had no idea when they planned to attack. I didn’t find all that out until it _was_ too late. By that point, I had to play my role or risk breaking cover.”

“And we are supposed to take your word for it?” Eunsang chimes in.

“My...my word is all I can give you.”

Hangyul hears Yohan calling his name and a clicking of the door with him, and he remembers what he has seen in the monitor room before he went back to this place. _Nothing_. 

And then he remembers how much Yohan has warned him against Wooseok. 

“Forget it.” Hangyul storms out of the interrogation room, both Yohan and Eunsang following close from behind.

“Look, Hangyul, I know you hoped…” Yohan must’ve immediately understood the situation. Eunsang tugs at Yohan's arm, shaking his head at him. But it doesn’t stop Yohan. “Look, you can’t blame yourself for falling for him,” he starts again, trying to be gentle with his tone as he can. “But, Hangyul, your love for this guy is clouding your better judgment.”

“My judgment _is_ fine.”

“No, you’re a mess. Don’t get me wrong. You’re holding it together on the outside. And who knows? Maybe you did the right thing by insisting that we bring him. But… whatever you felt for him didn’t just evaporate.”

“Yeah, it did. Just did.” Hangyul desperately wants to believe his own words.

“You know, I might believe you if you _hadn’t_ moved him into your house, and kept every detail of your lives together top secret.” Yohan sighs. “…if you _hadn’t_ risked everything to go rescue him— or the guy you thought he was.”

Getting conned; Hangyul never thought it would happen to him. The realization is a crushing weight, constricting his chest even further.

Yohan is about to continue his words when he gets interrupted by the alarm on the front door clicking, and a deep voice cuts across the hall.

“Lee Hangyul.”

Hangyul recognizes the voice and the slap of anger in the tone. He has heard it all before, been called into the boss’ office more than once. The owner of the voice steps inside the house, his face rigid with annoyance.

“Mr. Han.”


	5. double-edged

Han Seungwoo isn’t the kind of man who is content to wait behind a desk – when his team needs him on the ground, he gets there. But, you see, Seungwoo isn’t even supposed to be here right now; he’s too busy for that. The fact that he is here means, well─ _shit_ is really going on.

“Untie Kim Wooseok and bring him out here.”

Hangyul nods, despite feeling quite dumbfounded, but when he starts to make his way back to the interrogation room, Eunsang has already beaten him to it. The latter enters the main room, Wooseok close at heel.

As soon as everyone is seated around the table, Seungwoo starts, “Hangyul, Yohan, Eunsang, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” With that, a man in a suit glides into the room, and to the seat opposite of them, beside Wooseok. “This is Choi Byungchan. He’s working on the Centa Juno issue.”

“Pleasure to meet you all,” Byungchan greets, except he doesn’t look pleased. He looks cold and stone-faced, if Hangyul would describe it.

“Nice to meet you.” Hangyul bows his head, with Yohan and Eunsang following him to it. To be honest, his mind is still trying to process everything that is happening, and he can’t get any more dumbfounded than this; but putting that aside – Wooseok is telling the truth, after all?

“You have some manners, at least,” Byungchan nods at him, “but that doesn’t excuse you from keeping secrets from your government.”

“I… had no idea he was an agent,” Hangyul mutters under his breath.

Byungchan frowns. “There’s a traitor. We couldn’t risk anyone knowing about his status as an agent.” There’s that traitor thing again. Hangyul guesses that is true, too. “Wooseok here has been undercover in CJ for more than a year. He’s the reason why we can track their movements and potential targets.”

“ _We_?” Yohan quirks an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, only two people in this room knew CJ existed.”

Seungwoo warns him with a look, before turning to Byungchan, “If you knew where the group is, why not arrest them already?”

“The kidnappers are _not_ the real targets. We want the buyers,” Wooseok explains. “The people who pay CJ for their work. That’s harder to access; it has taken time to work my way up. Gain Jinhyuk’s trust.”

 _By sleeping with me,_ Hangyul wants to say, but chooses to keep his mouth shut instead.

“Lee Jinhyuk should be the next in line now that his father has fallen ill,” Byungchan points out.

“What happened to his father?” Eunsang asks.

“He’s been poisoned. He thinks it’s just a heart condition, though.”

“Poisoned?” Hangyul eyes Wooseok suspiciously, “Is that your doing?”

Wooseok shakes his head. “No, I’m _not_ the only one on the inside.”

“What about his mother?” Yohan asks.

“Dead. Jinhyuk’s father killed her. Presumably when she realized the family business was peddling death and not just the entertainment industry as advertised. She threatened to turn them all in, and well─ you can guess what happened.” As silence befalls the room, Wooseok continues, “The father remarried, but she ended up being killed, too. Rumor is─ the dad’s brother was responsible. To keep himself in line. And before you all ask again, yes, he’s dead, too.”

Hangyul takes a deep breath, trying to process all the information he got. “So what now?”

“For now, CJ still needs to be infiltrated and analyzed further,” Byungchan firmly answers. “Speaking of infiltration, CJ is, rather unfortunately, not the only one with agents infiltrating their ranks.”

This catches everyone’s attention, especially Seungwoo’s. “Your supposed traitor spy─?”

“Exactly,” Byungchan nods. “We got word _someone_ was digging, looking for personal information on your team, Han. Someone with access and knowledge has been feeding specifics to someone affiliated with CJ.”

“Who?”

“We still don’t know, sir,” Wooseok answers, “but I was able to position myself to be the one making contact with Gyul.”

 _So what, so you can sleep with me? Play with my emotions and have me wanting things I never wanted before?_ Hangyul really wants to turn off this loud voice in his mind. “What would have happened if Yohan and I hadn’t escaped?” he asks, instead.

Byungchan fixes him a look. “It’s also Wooseok’s mission to give you the means to get out of there alive.”

A thud echoes through the room as Yohan’s fist hits the table. “Kim Wooseok _was_ the reason we were there in the first place! No one else is pissed off that the NIS set up one of their─ _our_ own?! Namely, Hangyul?! I don’t know _how_ I should feel about working for an agency that will put one of its own in the crosshairs.”

“The threat to Hangyul was so specific we suspected it was made to test Wooseok. We couldn’t take the risk.”

“For the record, Yohan,” Seungwoo calmly interjects, yet there’s still a bite evident in his words, “I was briefed about all of this in the car on the way over. Not before.” He then pins Hangyul with an assessing look. “Let’s just say I’m not pleased about anything I have learned today.”

“Your whole team is on this now, Han. As for you, Wooseok, we need to get you back in.”

Wooseok nods, mumbling a soft “right.”

Hangyul feels his own eyes widen, his mind finding it harder to register Byungchan’s words. Did he even hear it right─? Without a plan, sending Wooseok back in is tantamount to _execution_. Wooseok’s cover is definitely burned at this point, and CJ will eventually know, any moment now, that Wooseok helped them get away, and for sure─ “They will kill him! What are you saying?!”

“Wooseok knew the risks when he put _saving you_ above the job.”

“Ya, Kim Wooseok─!” Hangyul whips his head at Wooseok, shooting to his own feet so fast that it almost made him dizzy. The thought of this ordeal totally being a suicide mission overwhelms him, and he doesn’t notice the slight flinch Wooseok made when his palms simultaneously hit the table. “What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!” Wooseok, however, doesn’t manage to come up with a response right away, and their eye contact eventually slips with that. Hangyul closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them again, he wills himself to be calmer. “How do you even plan on going back in?”

“There’s─I have a _contact_ who might be able to help me,” Wooseok seemingly hesitates. “Not ours, he’s MSS.”

“Ministry of State Security?” Eunsang gasps. “Chinese intelligence?”

“The MSS knew about this operation and I didn’t?” Seungwoo’s voice is a bit louder this time; he seemed to contain his anger as much as he can earlier, too.

“They came to us.” The way Byungchan says those words is as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Frankly,” Eunsang whispers to Yohan beside him, “this CJ group doesn’t sound that hard to infiltrate.” He earns a light slap in the arm, and he shrugs his shoulders. “Just saying.”

“ _He_ was already in there when I got there,” Wooseok explains. “We’ve… protected each other’s covers.”

“So you knew _him_ before this job,” Hangyul points out. There is a certain _look_ in Wooseok’s eyes that he can’t quite parse. “What’s his name?”

“ _Cho Seungyeon._ ”

“That sounds… oddly Korean.”

“Well, yes, he is, but he works under MSS.”

“So, how did you know him?” To be fair, it’s not as if all special-ops teams from every country hang out together on their off-time. Some work on joint task forces and multinational operations but that’s not exactly common. Something else is definitely going on here, and Hangyul wishes for a second he’d be too naïve to notice it. And maybe, he also had wished his mind isn’t going into overdrive at the moment. “Is he,” he starts to ask despite the sharp clench in his chest. He isn’t ready for the answer but─ “Is this Seungyoun one of your _lovers_ , too?”

The question made Wooseok’s eyes shot back at him, and in them, Hangyul notices a trace of… hurt? Pain? And then, there is that tone. The gentle pleading. “Gyul, come on…”

“Enough,” Byungchan’s voice rings through the tensed silence. He rises from his seat and makes his way to the stairs. “Wooseok and I still need to debrief after he showers and preferably before he freezes to death."

“So that you can remind him of his duty and order him back in?” It seems Hangyul effectively stops Byungchan in his tracks. Honestly, he doesn’t know where his bravery against a senior is even coming from.

Byungchan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flash drive. He walks back down the steps and to where Hangyul is, dropping it on the table and sliding it towards him. “Wooseok hid a camera in the warehouse where you were taken. Your interrogation is on video.”

Hangyul scoffs in disbelief as his gaze lands on the said flash drive, the slight chuckle that he then lets out an irony to the bubbling pain in his chest. “Fantastic.”

“Maybe you should stop bitching long enough to watch it.” Without waiting for an answer, Byungchan turns to Seungwoo. “We’ll need to be ready to move out as soon as we have an infiltration plan in place.”

“Let’s all meet again in twenty minutes.”

“I know you didn’t want the operation to roll out this way,” Wooseok starts as soon as Byungchan has entered his room.

Byungchan sighs, settling himself on the couch facing him. “You put Hangyul’s life ahead of work. That’s not like you, Wooseok. You’re rock-solid when it comes to keeping things on-task.”

“I thought I could handle both.” With both frustration and exhaustion washing over him, Wooseok leans his back dejectedly against the closed door.

“We both know you were just hoping your two worlds didn’t collide.”

Byungchan has struck a nerve, and Wooseok can only go into silence. It’s a truth that hits way to close to home, and he wishes, like what he always does, for everything to be different. For everything to be some long dream that would end when he wakes up in an alternate universe where he doesn’t have to lie and keep everything from Hangyul just to keep him safe. Where he could freely be himself and be with him, and enjoy the best little things in life together like how _normal_ people do. Where he could love him without worrying too much of the future— of when he could totally be pushed out of Hangyul’s life. Of when he’d never see the prettiest dimpled smile directed at him again. Of when he’d never hear the words ‘I love you’ past those lovely lips for him again. Of when he’d never feel loved and cared for like how Hangyul made him feel. And worst of all, of how, one day, Hangyul could be gone, permanently─ not just from his life, and Wooseok wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

“─Wooseok, hey. Wooseok?”

He takes a deep breath, collecting himself. “We should have brought in their team in this case earlier. Before all of this happened.”

Byungchan sighs. “This is why I didn’t want you getting involved with Hangyul. You were supposed to make Jinhyuk believe it without really bringing him in, but─ well, there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“There was no way to just pretend and still keep Jinhyuk at peace. He’s too smart.”

Byungchan tilts his head at him, “You mean there was no way _you_ could stop yourself.”

Wooseok throws his hands up in surrender before letting them fall limply. “I…I fucked up.” He hears his own voice choke with emotion, but he can't really give much of a care by now. “But you know I would _not_ change anything. There is no way I am letting Jinhyuk grab Hangyul without doing something about it.”

“I know. Now that I’ve actually met Hangyul, he’s really pissed off, though…” Wooseok fixes his stare at the carpet on the floor as he hears Byungchan trail off. His heart swells with regret and pain and everything in between, and somehow, it’s much more enticing to look at the circular bundle of red threads than face the truth that even he refuses to admit to himself, at all. “Is that why you’re volunteering for a suicide mission?”

At Byungchan’s words, he smiles, hoping he doesn’t look too sad doing so, and shakes his head. “Since when do we let danger stop us from going out there? You lost your brother and sister-in-law on a mission before.”

“And you lost your sister on a mission, too. We’ve both sacrificed enough.” Byungchan’s voice is sad, almost warm, a stark contrast from his chilly attitude from earlier, and Wooseok definitely knows what he wants to say. His boss, whom he has known for quite a long time, enough to be called his friend in this line of work at least, is worried for him and clearly has a valid reason to do so. “Just say a word, Wooseok. I’m more than willing to hand this over to Han.”

Wooseok, however, is dead set on continuing this mission now, and even then, he knows of the consequences, of what might happen to him. There are low chances of him surviving this one, but that still means there is a chance, and he’ll take it. Hangyul doesn’t have to involve himself now; Wooseok won’t let that happen anymore. He will finish this damn mission once and for all, and if he’s lucky enough to survive, maybe then, he can apologize to Hangyul properly, and fix whatever they have to fix between them. “Thanks, but no. This is my responsibility.”

Another pause ensues between them, this one heavy with regret. Eventually, Byungchan stands up from the couch. “Alright then. Let’s get you ready. Call the MSS, because we’re going to need help.”

Hangyul just sits in silence as Seungwoo reads through intel on his monitor screen. Seungwoo had called him earlier into the office, and Hangyul thinks it was most probably to chew him out, if not for the zip drive that he had delivered from Wooseok.

Seungwoo has been ignoring him for the past ten minutes, though.

A few more minutes pass and soon enough, the silence becomes unbearable, Hangyul deciding to finally speak as he clears his throat. “Mr. Han─”

“Seungwoo.”

“Sir?”

“Seungwoo is fine. How many times do I have to tell you this?”

“Oh─right,” Hangyul gulps, bracing himself, “Are you going to demote me?”

For the first time ever since Hangyul entered this room, Seungwoo lifts his eyes to look at him. “What?”

“…It’s the logical thing to do.”

Seungwoo falls back in his chair, tapping a finger thoughtfully against his lips. “I’m trying to imagine you shuffling papers,” he says, and Hangyul notes of a glint of amusement in his eyes.

Hangyul weakly snorts, “I’d quit.”

“I know you would.” The little smile on Seungwoo’s face soon disappears, a layer of seriousness taking over. “However, it seems there was _quite_ a mighty big secret you were hiding.”

“Roughly 173 centimeters of one, but yeah…” Hangyul does his best to block out the images of Wooseok that have wormed their way into his mind.

“Everything that’s happened has to have left you with a lot of…complicated feelings.”

“Wouldn’t it?” Hangyul huffs out, staring down at particularly nothing. “My relationship with Kim Wooseok was built on lies.”

“Do you really believe that?”

There’s a long pause, but when Hangyul answers, his voice is a lot weaker than he intended it to be. “It was a setup from the start.”

“It was. The NIS sure had their fun using you without cluing you in. No question.”

“…I was lied to. You were lied to.”

Seungwoo hums understandingly in response, leaning forward on his seat. “ _So?_ ”

The two-letter word makes a fresh wave of anger pulse through Hangyul. “What do you mean ‘so’?”

“Having to ferret out the truth comes with the job,” Seungwoo shrugs, “It is part of what we do. Look─ when Wooseok thought you were in danger, he wrecked months of work to get to you. That happens to be a violation of _every_ oath he has taken.”

Hangyul slumps against his seat. “He was the one who told them where I lived in the first place.” He can almost hear Jinhyuk’s mocking tone again, and it makes him clench his fists. “…Even talked about our sex life.”

“Then stand down and let him go back in. He deserves it after the way he treated you, right?”

“ _It’s_ a suicide mission.”

“Why do you care?”

That shuts him up. Seungwoo’s right, really─ why does he care? _Of course_ , he cares. He is not fooling anyone but himself, and he knows the answer to that; he’s just too afraid to admit it this time.

There’s a clicking of the door opening, and they both turn their heads to find Eunsang and Yohan entering the room. Eunsang sits beside Hangyul, leaning to his side as he whispers, “You okay, hyung?”

Hangyul briefly smiles at that; he figures his smile must have looked too tired, though, with how Eunsang just smiles sympathetically back at him.

Metal screeches across the floor as Yohan pulls a chair behind the two. “I still don’t trust Kim Wooseok,” he starts, “Or Choi Byungchan, for that matter.”

“Yohan, settle down.” Seungwoo fixes him a look, and Yohan lets out a scoff.

“Choi Byungchan _knew_ Hangyul was a target and didn’t tell you.”

“That is my issue to handle, Yohan.” Seungwoo pinches the bridge of his nose. “For now, let’s get this over, _please_?”

Hangyul hears Yohan exhale deeply behind him, before muttering a low “sorry.”

Seungwoo nods at that, returning his focus back to the screen in front of him. Only a few seconds have passed before he grabs a remote to turn on the huge LCD screen on the wall to his right, fully facing the four of them. The huge screen seems to be connected with his computer, projecting data that Hangyul assumes to be what Wooseok had claimed to have gathered.

“Choi says Kim Wooseok is the best he has ever seen at infiltration and destruction from within,” Seungwoo says as they all pay attention to the screen.

“That’s quite a combo,” Eunsang muses, and it makes Yohan snort under his breath,

“One that’s going to get him killed.”

“Most definitely,” Seungwoo hits a key and images on the screen flash up – various photos of Lee Jinhyuk at different points in his life. Jinhyuk sure looks like so many other attractive men walking around South Korea; the right clothes, an impressive figure.

But Hangyul knows the truth. Those intelligent eyes hide a bloodthirsty nature underneath. “Now, what? We _just_ agree that Wooseok is walking into huge danger?”

Seungwoo gives him a glance before looking back at the screen, “The mission comes first, Hangyul.”

“We should be the ones taking CJ down! It’s too dangerous for─”

“We do that, and every single one of their buyers gets tipped off and runs off,” Seungwoo sighs, leaning back on his chair. “CJ is bad, sure, but you haven’t seen the big picture. Some of the groups they work with are even bigger you’d think CJ is just some high school gang.” The response is but a silence for a few beats, and so Seungwoo continues, a softer tone this time. “I promise you I want CJ taken down as much as you do. But we need more info. We need _Wooseok_.”

“Damn it,” Hangyul curses under his breath. “I hate how we’re just sitting on our thumbs while people die.”

“Earth to Kim Wooseok?”

Everyone has assembled in the monitor room by the time Hangyul arrives, and he spots Wooseok almost instantly, standing in front of a screen that displays blips of information and images of Lee Jinhyuk.

Hangyul walks by the others to find a seat of his own, placing his hands on top of the nearest empty chair; but when he realizes the seat beside him is Wooseok’s, he hesitates at the last second and moves to the end of the table. Sitting next to Yohan, the latter gives him a knowing look─ one that Hangyul chooses to ignore. He instead catches Wooseok staring at him, and Hangyul averts his eyes, trying his best to act composed and collected.

“Kim Wooseok-ssi?” Eunsang calls out once again.

Hangyul feels the particular gaze on him linger for a while more before he hears Wooseok clear his throat. “Right─ So back to what I was saying...”

That afternoon, Hangyul finds himself alone with his thoughts as he leans his arms against the balcony, allowing the autumn breeze to blow past his face.

The debrief with the entire team went anything but smoothly, which by now should have been already expected; it ending up with Wooseok having to walk out of the room with an annoyed expression plastered across his face, stating, _“Maybe we can stop with the dissing contest. Or better yet, continue without me. I have some prep to do.”_ The air in the room eventually became too stifling right then, and Hangyul rose to his feet, leaving the rest of the team by themselves.

Sitting in that room, listening to Wooseok planning his own assassination, certainly felt like the life was getting sucked out of Hangyul. It made no sense to him, none at all. He knew that unless they have some superhuman, or maybe the world’s best liar on their side, Wooseok’s chance of survival is close to nothing.

_Damn it._

Hangyul feels too tired, too drained. He doesn’t want to even care about Wooseok’s safety _this_ much, not anymore, but he still can’t help himself. He thinks of their moments together, burying themselves in an avalanche of touching and kissing─ and the truth takes hold of him. Lying or not, scheming or not, Wooseok already owns a piece of his life.

For the record, it’s not as if Wooseok was the only one lying.

Hangyul still remembers those times ─ the times Wooseok let him get away with his lies, the times he must have known what Hangyul was really up to. Like that time when...

_Four months into their relationship, and one of the suspects Hangyul was after got in a lucky hit and clipped his arm. A light wound, but it’s going to be damn hard to hide._

_“Hyung, I’m home!” Hangyul knows Wooseok is going to notice the injury. There is no way he won’t._

_“Gyul?” Wooseok runs to him as soon as he enters the apartment. “Your arm! What happened?”_

_Hangyul puts on an apologetic grin, his unwounded hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. An awkward chuckle escapes his lips because crap, he forgot to plan an excuse. “I, um…” Should he tell him that he tripped and fell? Or would that be too much? He at least should be mostly dirty, but he isn’t. He doesn’t think Wooseok would even believe he is that clumsy._

_Wait a second. What if ‘a cat scratched him’? Hangyul could almost hit the back of his own head at that. Wooseok wouldn’t believe that either; in fact, he wouldn’t believe that the most._

_He sees Wooseok pout at him, still waiting for his answer, and he immediately thanks the heavens when he manages to reply “I─I got mugged.”_

_“Oh my God, are you okay?” Wooseok’s eyebrows further furrow in concern. He carefully examines him, worry filling his features as he gently moves his hand around Hangyul to check for any other wounds. Wooseok sighs in relief when he doesn’t find anything else, aside from the one in Hangyul’s arms._

_“Yeah, he didn’t take anything. I managed to scare him off. He just got a one good hit on me.”_

_“I see… okay, at least let me treat it.” Wooseok takes his other arm and pulls him gently by the wrist towards their bedroom. “Come on. I think I have some stuff here.”_

_Hangyul smiles to himself, despite the other man not being able to see it. The injury is not that serious, nor that deep, but he lets Wooseok be, lets him take care of him. God, Wooseok is really cute when he gets all nervous like that._

_Wooseok leads him to the bed, carefully sitting him down and beginning to treat the wound. “This might sting a little,” he warns before applying the antiseptic._

_Hangyul nods, and grits his teeth. Not because of the pain, of course (he experiences worse on a daily basis), but to keep the cover story going._

_“Shh, I know, I know,” Wooseok coos, focused on treating the wound, “just hold on a while more, hm?” Wooseok finishes with a dab of ointment, a gauze, and then, finally, a small kiss. “You’ve got to take care of yourself,” Wooseok pouts (Hangyul doubts he realizes he does) as he looks up at him. “I don’t know what I would do if something happened.”_

_“Hey, it’s okay.” Hangyul can’t help but chuckle, pinching one of Wooseok’s cheeks. “Nothing’s going to stop me from coming home to you.” That earns him a weak slap on his wounded arm. “Ouch!”_

_“Cheesy.” A small laugh escapes Wooseok’s lips as he lies down on their bed. There’s a few beats of silence before he speaks again, and when he does, he turns to face Hangyul. Wooseok drags his words nice and slow, much like the way his fingernails now move against the younger’s skin. “You know, while we’re here…”_

_The corner of Hangyul’s lips tugs into a smirk. “I thought you’d never ask.” Wooseok shoots him a look, one that Hangyul is far too familiar and far too weak against at this point. And just like that, Hangyul takes the lead, slowly stripping Wooseok’s shirt off of him first, gradually easing him onto the bed before removing his own next. Delicately, he strokes fingers through Wooseok’s hair, intertwining them through his locks._

_“You sure you’re okay?” Wooseok murmurs softly, all doe eyes intently looking up at him. “I don’t want to push you if you’re hurt.”_

_“More than sure,” he assures, undoing Wooseok’s belt and tossing his pants to the side._

_“Oh, Hangyul…” At his moans, Hangyul increases the speed and pace, building the momentum and pressure until he can tell that Wooseok is near the edge. With one hard suck, Wooseok moans into him, collapsing against his side and digging his fingernails into his shoulders. It takes a few more seconds for Wooseok to recover, and when he does, he lazily smiles at him, “I'm starting to hate how perfect you are.”_

_“I do my best,” Hangyul beams._

_In the aftermath of it all, warm, comfortable silence easily envelopes the room as Hangyul moves to lie next to Wooseok. Right now, though, said silence isn’t entirely comforting for Hangyul. It rather makes him alone with his thoughts; all the lies he has told Wooseok racing through his still-buzzing brain ─ lies from not just today, nor just this past month, but from the very start. It’s been nothing but one falsehood after another._

_It’s part of his job, though. He can’t tell Wooseok anything that would jeopardize the safety or security of his team, and of course, of Wooseok too. But, maybe, just this once, Hangyul could let him in on something real about himself. Let him know how much he appreciates him for putting up with all this crap._

_“I’ve never had a great relationship with my father.”_

_“Your father?” Wooseok echoes softly. He scoots closer, laying his head on the younger’s chest and wrapping an arm around his middle._

_“He was a real hardass,” Hangyul continues, his fingers gently carding through Wooseok’s soft hair. “Very strict. Very conservative. Real old-school values.”_

_“I’m guessing he didn’t approve of you being…”_

_Hangyul hums, “He didn’t. My mother didn’t either. I guess I only got his work ethic, and that’s it.”_

_“Gyul… I’m so sorry.”_

_Hangyul smiles fondly against his hair. “You didn’t have to be sorry. I didn’t tell you because I wanted sympathy or anything like that.”_

_“Why did you tell me?” There’s no trace of complaint in his voice, just pure curiosity and concern. “Right now, I mean.”_

_“I don’t know,” Hangyul takes a deep breath, finding the exact words to say. “I just… I felt close to you just now.”_

After a lifetime of shunning commitments and laughing at the idea of relationships, Hangyul fell right into one. Wooseok truly stuck with him through everything that happened that year, and Wooseok, if anything, had been his strength, his battery charger through every single day. And as much as it is difficult for him to admit it, Wooseok has, unquestionably and without a doubt, become his biggest weakness, too.

Still standing alone in the balcony, Hangyul also tries to call up memories of Wooseok’s betrayal, mostly for him to fall back on his ego and further wallow in doubt; but every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is Wooseok’s smile, Wooseok just… being perfectly beautiful like that.

Maybe Wooseok preserved their privacy. Maybe everything he told CJ was a lie, Hangyul has no real way of knowing. The idea can’t be more than a flight of wishful thinking, but he doesn’t know what to believe in anymore.

That scares the hell out of him.

Kicked out as a kid and left on his own, there was one thing Hangyul had always counted on: _his self_. His instincts and his survival skills. But even those seemed to have abandoned him now.

“Hey hyung, Yohan-hyung and I have something you might want to see.”

Hangyul snaps out of his thoughts, turning to find Eunsang sticking his head through the door to the balcony. “What is it?”

“Footage from the warehouse,” Eunsang grins.

“No thanks. I lived through it. I don’t really need the replay.” Hangyul gives him a brief smile, but Eunsang shakes his head in return.

“You saw what Wooseok-hyung _wanted_ you to see.”

 _Wooseok-hyung, huh._ “I’m not really in the mood for that…”

Just then, Yohan pops his head out, too. “Hangyul, I think it’s worth a look.”

The fact that Yohan is the one asking piques Hangyul’s interest. Everybody knows Yohan is firmly on team Let Wooseok Kill Himself, but all the amusement and fight seems to have left him now.

“…Fine.”

Instead of dropping sarcastic one-liners, Yohan holds a chair out for Hangyul the moment they reach the monitor room.

Hangyul fixes his eyes at the rectangular screen in front, but the frozen image apparently seems to just mock him. He thought he had hidden his shock at Wooseok showing up out of nowhere that time, but looking now, the flash of pain across his face as Wooseok stepped into the room is as clear as day.

“Look,” Eunsang points a finger to a moving figure in the screen, “here, he pockets the drive. Then here, we have the part where he puts his hands on─”

“Yeah, we all get it,” Hangyul cuts him short. He hates to admit it, but even then, he can still feel Wooseok’s touch as he watches. “Fast forward.”

Yohan fake-winces. “Agreed. The live version of that was enough.”

“Right,” Eunsang snickers, “but watch the dial on the machine.”

“I don’t see any─”

“He’s moving it down when you get buzzed and pushing it back up when his body isn’t blocking it,” Eunsang continues, ecstatic enough to not even let Hangyul finish his words. He explains it with such gleam in his eyes as if he saw something really amazing. “He’s manipulating the equipment!”

“Yeah, pause right there─ look, that’s the part where he untied you,” Yohan says a beat after, and Hangyul eyes him suspiciously.

“You’re Kim Wooseok’s biggest fan now?”

“Not exactly,” Yohan shrugs, “but this… this does change things.” Hangyul stands up, pivoting around Yohan. “Where are you going?”

Hangyul doesn’t really have to utter a word for them to know, though. By then, he’s on his feet, striding out of the room and to Wooseok’s, only hoping that Wooseok will say something, anything that will make his world make sense again.

At the end of the day, Wooseok is the only one holding all the answers he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hi! it has been a month (that felt like forever) since the last update, sorry! i am about done with the next chaps so hopefully i can post chapter 6 tomorrow. does anybody still read this though? loll if u have read until here, a big THANKS to you! i'd love to hear your thoughts too ❣️


	6. sunsets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just. please don't kill me for this, i guess? ;;
> 
> chapter warning: smut (not that detailed but yeah, just a heads up lol)

Hangyul’s head is spinning as he makes his way to Wooseok’s room. A million thoughts and feelings run through his head ─ anger, remorse, fear. It almost feels like he’s mourning the man he thought Wooseok was, but he doesn’t want the real Wooseok dead, either. Just… he doesn’t know himself how to describe it.

Hangyul swings the door open, not even bothering to knock. To his surprise, Wooseok is standing inside with his hand poised to reach for the doorknob.

“Gyul? What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?”

Wooseok nods contemplatively, and Hangyul lets himself into the room─ well, he tries to. His body refuses to budge further than the doorframe. He hovers there for a moment, still unsure of what to say as several emotions pound in his ears. It’s mostly anger right now, though, Hangyul figures that much. It’s not anger at Wooseok for lying to him, no, it’s more than that. It’s anger at Wooseok for throwing away his life like _this_.

“Gyul─”

“Kim Wooseok.” Hangyul slips the rest of the way into the room and closes the door behind him. “Do you want to die?”

The sharp lash of his voice surprises the both of them, but the shock soon fades away from Wooseok’s face, expression turning back into his usual, calm one. “No. Of course not.”

“Going back there is a death wish. There’s no way they’re going to trust you again. You’ll be─” Hangyul rakes a hand through his hair, unable to finish the thought. “Your cover’s blown. You _need_ to hand this over to us.”

“You know I’ve been trained for this, right?”

Wooseok remains calm, and Hangyul gets even more frustrated at that. At how he seems to be very confident of his skills that it’s driving Hangyul to the point of insanity. He loves this side of him─ loved it before, but he pretty much hates it now, and he also hates how he so easily becomes a mess when it comes to Wooseok.

“Is that what this is about? You want to prove to me that you are this─” he gestures at Wooseok, “this lethal alpha killing machine? Fine, I believe you! I’ve seen what you can do on the field!” Hangyul pauses, huffing out a breath. “Your abilities aren’t in question, but… But you’re _more_ than that. More than the agency’s sacrificial pawn. More than just a tool to be swiftly deployed when things go south.”

For a few beats more, they just stare at each other’s eyes, holding each other’s gazes and letting those talk for them. “This is not about me,” Wooseok almost whispers, breaking the silence. “This is about stopping something bigger than me.”

“Don’t give me the standard NIS speech─”

“It’s literally my job!”

“Oh─” A choked laugh. “Like _I_ was your job?”

Wooseok’s lips form a thin line, taking a few heavy steps to where Hangyul is by the door, and closing the distance between them. Suddenly, Hangyul feels his heart start racing, a flush spreading over him that has almost nothing to do with anger.

“ _Neither_ one of us,” Wooseok presses a pointed finger against his chest, so strong it almost makes him stumble back, “was honest about who we were.”

“Neither?” Hangyul challenges. “Do you really think what _you_ did and what _I_ did are comparable?”

“I… never pushed. I never ever pushed when you lied about your job.”

 _Right._ His mind comes empty of words and it doesn’t help that the older is so close. With a lowered head, he brings a clenched fist up against Wooseok’s chest, letting it stay there like a silent plea. Sooner than Hangyul wants it to, he’s biting back the sudden sting of tears ─ perhaps from frustration of, of just about everything. And he tries his very best to stop their way out of his eyes, even as he stills his gaze at the little, but seemingly _endless_ gap between their feet.

Like this, his heart is in his throat, vulnerable and aching.

“I,” Hangyul wishes his voice didn’t crack too much, “I was attracted to this guy.” Fist still closed, he weakly taps against his chest, “I wanted to live with this guy.” Then his hand drops. “Now, I know you manufactured what I felt. Manipulated me into seeing only what I wanted to see.”

Just the sight of Hangyul being like this is enough to make his heart shatter into pieces, and Wooseok wills the forming tears away. He looks up at the white ceiling, blinking once, twice, thrice, before setting back his gaze at Hangyul’s slumped figure. It still hurts.

“That’s not true,” Wooseok mumbles, too soft that Hangyul barely hears it. “We were real.”

Hangyul shakes his head slowly, still refusing to detach his eyes away from the floor. “I want to believe that. _So much_.”

Then there’s that kind of silence that pains and suffocates. “We,” Wooseok’s voice trembles a bit, “we can start again, learn about each other again─”

“Isn’t it too late for that?” Hangyul lifts his eyes to meet Wooseok’s glistening ones. For sure, he, himself, is in a much worse state, but Hangyul still tries. He still tries to act strong, still tries to act less shattered than how he actually is. “Too late to pretend we ever really knew each other?” He sees the obvious hesitation in Wooseok for a moment before the latter mutters a word Hangyul doesn’t catch. “What is it?”

“Hana.”

Hangyul freezes, feels his knees suddenly become jelly. “What─”

“Your mother’s name.”

“W-Where─ Did you─?” Slightly trembling, Hangyul steps back, putting a foot of distance between them. “Is that in my file? Did your boss give you that info?” Wooseok tries to reach for him, but he dodges, moving back further. His mind spins, and it’s suddenly dizzying to even just stand, but he forces himself to be okay, to be strong. “Congratulations, then. For not getting my real dead mother’s name confused with the dead mother in my cover story.”

Wooseok looks at him, his eyes conveying the surprise, probably at Hangyul’s reaction, probably at his words, then the pain, the sadness, the sorrow. Hangyul almost misses it though, because it’s but a few seconds before Wooseok closes his eyes shut and turns his back, letting his forehead thud against the wall in front of him. He lets out a shaky breath, and then, it is just silence. Silence and the occasional sniffles echoing softly through the room.

Hangyul starts to leave, but when he reaches the door, Wooseok speaks, voice trembling slightly.

“You… you do this thing when you think I’m sleeping. You balance up on your elbow, and look down at me, stare at me.” A sniffle. “Then you’ll card your fingers through my hair.”

And perhaps, his heart has sunk even further, if that’s possible, because Wooseok is crying, and he hates it. He hates seeing him cry, hates seeing his most recent, dreaded dream, before he woke up in his worst reality, materialize in front him.

But, now, somehow, it’s different.

Because this time, he doesn’t _want_ to make him feel better. He doesn’t want to find the right words to make him smile. He doesn’t want to pull him into a warm hug and embrace him to ease the pain away. He doesn’t want to indulge himself with this ‘love’ only to be broken, and ruined, and left alone again.

Hangyul doesn’t want to pretend that everything is okay. Because it is not. It hurts.

It hurts so much.

“Did pretending to be asleep give you a laugh?” There is clearly bitterness in his voice, but Hangyul doesn’t want to care anymore, no. He just wants to be…okay.

Wooseok doesn’t answer for a while. “I never say anything because I like how it feels. Your warm breath on my face. Your…” He wipes his eyes and cheeks as he trails off. Pain and guilt visibly writhing in his eyes, he turns to face Hangyul again. “Sometimes, you’d hum. I doubt you even realize you did it.”

Wooseok takes a step forward, and Hangyul finds himself rooted to the spot, fighting opposing impulses. Because in all honesty, he has wanted to blame him, but he has also wanted to forgive him. He has wanted to run away, but he has also wanted to feel his warmth again.

He has stayed still, eyes trained on Wooseok, and then, he feels it. Soft, warm lips against his own. It was short, brief, quick, but it’s enough to send Hangyul’s mind reeling.

“You should hate me,” Wooseok says. Another second, and his mind registers the feeling again. Then, again. He could almost taste the salty tinge of his own tears.

_Enough of this._

Shutting his brain off, Hangyul slides his hands over Wooseok’s shoulders and pushes him up against the wall. Lips crash together. Deep and devouring. There’s no slow burn, just racing skin from cool to fire, lips tasting and hands roaming. Hangyul chides himself, with how much he misses this, with how he is all over Wooseok, crushing his back against the wall as he cradles his head. Wooseok crumples his shirt in his fists, drawing him in closer and holding him there. He could feel it, feel the tensions whipping around them. It builds and crescendos, taking their breaths away with it. Hangyul could even hear his own heartbeat thunder in his ears as Wooseok’s knees start to buckle. It’s always been like this. All-consuming and powerful. Dragging kisses that plow both of them under and sustain them during all the days they’d been apart.

It’s when he feels a hand tugging on his waistband that Hangyul snaps out of it and breaks away. A few minutes with Wooseok, and Hangul loses all sense of self-control. Pathetic. 

With all the sheer will he could muster, he takes a step back, completely letting go of Wooseok, and reaches for the door again. Yet it seems Wooseok has no plans of letting him go. 

“I really should hate you,” Hangyul mutters under his breath when he feels a grip on his wrist.

“You… really should.”

Hangyul turns to face Wooseok again. “Don’t go back in.” He swears his voice is way sadder than what he had intended to show, but Hangyul has more important things to worry about than that now.

Still holding his wrist, Wooseok reaches for his face with his other hand, a thumb running across his cheek. Maybe Wooseok had wiped a tear or two. His eyes still glisten, but he smiles, tight-lipped. “I have to.”

“Don’t.” It’s really pathetic, how Hangyul can’t even brush away the hand on his face. Not even the hand on his wrist. It’s not that he can’t, he just doesn’t want to. And that’s the worse part. His whole existence screams _Wooseok, Wooseok,_ and _Wooseok_. “Please.”

Wooseok just shakes his head, and Hangyul figures there’s no changing his mind. If that’s the case, then this talk is done. He’s going to leave now. He brushes the hand on his face away, successfully, then tries to free his wrist, but Wooseok grips him tighter. The pent up emotions come crashing down and boiling up within Hangyul again. The same frustration, the anger, the fear, the sorrow. It’s too much. Why is Wooseok still like this? Why is Wooseok still treating him like this?

“You’re so selfish.” Hangyul grumbled. Wooseok flinches, but doesn’t break eye contact, as if he’s posing a challenge, and no, Hangyul isn’t backing down. “Fine. _This_ is what you want?” Hangyul pins him hard against the wall again. Harsh. “Sex?”

Wooseok shudders against him, still tight-lipped.

“Yeah, right. Of course, you do.” Hangyul mockingly smiles, fury still showing through his eyes. “It’s not like we had anything else.”

“You─” Wooseok gulps. “You know we had more than that.”

“ _Oh_ , did we?” Hangyul leans in closer, his mouth hovering just above Wooseok’s ear. “Then tell me to leave.”

“I… can’t.”

“I’m pissed.” His lips trail into Wooseok’s hair, and the smell of him nearly undoes Hangyul again. Cinnamon and vanilla, warm and achingly familiar. His fingers slide down until they rest on the waistband of Wooseok’s jeans. “And,” _I want you. I still do._ “I’m using you.”

Wooseok gives in, slipping his hands around Hangyul’s back and pressing in close. “I don’t care.”

Their mouths meet again, but this time, this time it’s different. Possessive and determined. The kiss touches off an ache deep in Hangyul’s chest. With each rough pass of their lips, the kiss deepens and heats. Warmth washing all over him. Then the need. Their fingers meet and entwine, his hands pinning Wooseok’s to the wall behind him.

He hears Wooseok let out a moan of longing, and Hangyul finds himself responding in kind.

“We should stop,” Hangyul breaths out.

“No.”

Time blends as the minutes pass, heavy breathing filling the room as their tongues meet and intertwine. Wooseok’s hands are everywhere at once ─ caressing Hangyul’s face, digging into his back, grabbing his ass, tangling with his hair. When their bodies start to move, pressing and grinding and rubbing against each other, Hangyul has to shut out the lone voice in his head that pleads with him to pull back. “Jesus, Seok. Tell me to go to hell.”

Wooseok’s hands roam over his back, nipping at his bottom lip in response. “No.”

Hangyul’s fingers move, skimming lower and lower until his palm cups the bulge of Wooseok’s pants. It makes Wooseok moan into his ear, and all reason abandons the younger. He pushes him onto the bed, stripping his own shirt off in one fluid motion. Wooseok does the same, peeling his own shirt away to reveal his lean stomach, and strong shoulders. Hangyul used to think he just worked out, but now he realizes Wooseok got that body on the job.

It doesn’t take long for them both to lose all the fabric, kicking them to one corner of the room.

“Lean back.”

“Not yet.” Wooseok slightly smirks, and Hangyul has to bite back a gasp when the older’s hand finds his length, pumping up and down, and tightening his grip with each pass. Before Hangyul knows it, Wooseok is sliding out of sight, planting a trail of kisses down his collarbone and stomach. His breath catches when Wooseok takes him into his mouth.

“Seok…” Wooseok licks the tip, gently at first, then pulls him in deeper, his warmth enveloping Hangyul like the softest of satin. For a while, Wooseok keeps at it, and when Hangyul feels the sensation building to an unbearable pitch, he gasps─ “Lie down.”

In a flash, Wooseok obeys his command, shifting his position on the bed while the younger unveils a condom and sachet of lube from his wallet sprawled on the floor. Hangyul almost feels a flush creeping up his face when he sees the amused expression plastered across Wooseok’s face.

“I got in the habit of carrying one with me everywhere I go,” he reasons, hoping that would be enough to satisfy Wooseok’s unspoken inquiry.

“Mm, why?” There’s a bit of chuckle in Wooseok’s voice, like he knows the answer to his own question anyway, and Hangyul knows he is teasing him at this point. It’s not until Wooseok whines another ‘ _why?’_ that Hangyul gives up and responds,

“Because,” Hangyul sighs, “because by the time I got home, all I wanted was to─”

“To…?” God, Hangyul would gladly wipe off that smirk on his face.

“To strip you naked.”

“I know,” Wooseok grins triumphantly. “I remember.” 

With shaking hands, Wooseok takes the foil from Hangyul and tears it open. He slips it over Hangyul, treating him to a not-so-gentle squeeze. Hangyul positions himself between his legs, and Wooseok spreads them wider to accommodate, his heels hooking into the small of Hangyul’s back as he wraps his legs around him. Hangyul wets his fingers with lube and opens him up, preparing him with one finger... two... three. All that time Wooseok’s moans grew louder, needier, whinier, and it nearly pushes him to the edge. Perhaps, that’s really when Hangyul throws everything out the window, rather letting his heart─ scratch that─ his body control him.

When he feels that Wooseok is ready, he enters him with a stroke, feeling him clamped around him, warm and hot. Wooseok wraps his arms around him, his body clenching around him, and Hangyul feels his skin catch fire as trembling need washes through him.

“I missed you, Gyul.”

About six months into their relationship, Hangyul remembers, he had driven Wooseok out to a remote beach in Busan, spending the whole day just soaking in the sun and lost in each other’s company.

Orange and pink hues surrounds them as they watch the sun slowly and beautifully bid its goodbye for the day, meeting the reflective horizon. Waves and waves lap at the shore, creating gushing sounds that are, if anything, comforting and serene in its own. There’s something freeing about being in this place, getting away from everything.

Here, they don’t need to hide.

But as the sun dipped, Wooseok had grown oddly distant. Because of what, Hangyul isn’t sure. Maybe a passing fear entered Wooseok’s mind. Maybe a memory.

“Gyul, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Hangyul smiles, sliding his arms around his waist and hugging him from behind. “Is everything okay?”

The tension in Wooseok’s shoulder seems to ease down a bit, his hands settling on Hangyul’s arms. “Everything is more than okay. I think─ I think that’s the problem.”

Hangyul hums, tilting his head to look at his side profile. “You’re not making sense…”

“I know. Just─If I ended up doing something terrible…” Wooseok fixes his gaze at the view in front of them. “For the right reasons of course, but if I… something that hurt you─ not because I wanted to, but because I had to─ would you still…”

“Hm?” Hangyul asks as gentle as he can manage, sensing Wooseok’s rambling. “Would I still what?”

“Would you still love me?”

The question makes Hangyul smile lazily, too drunk on Wooseok’s company to register the fear in his voice. “Of course.” He feels a gentle squeeze on his arm, then hands intertwining with his own. Wooseok leans back into his embrace. Whatever it was on his mind seems to have passed by now.

“Just... Always know I love you, Gyul. No matter what happens, know that, okay?”

Against his neck, Hangyul just nods with a smile. “Where’s all this coming from?”

“Sorry. Just being weird, I guess.” Wooseok lets out a soft laugh, one that sounds so beautiful in Hangyul’s ears no matter how many times he has heard it. Cheesy, okay, but nobody cares, not Hangyul at least. “Sunsets always make me sentimental.” Wooseok goes back to his usual, cheerful self after that. The smiling, sunny man Hangyul fell in love with.

For just a moment, though, Hangyul had a hint of what was to come.

But how could he have known?

“I didn’t tell him everything.” Wooseok breaks the silence, pulling Hangyul out of his memory. Wooseok lies beside him, an arm covering his eyes against the blinding light of his room. “Jinhyuk. I didn’t want him to know anything real about us. That part was always for you and me.”

“How do I know… how much of it was just for us? I showed sides of myself to you that I’ve never shown anybody before.” Hangyul takes a shaky breath. “I get that you were under orders. And I get that you were doing what you had to keep your cover. But after this, how can we even keep going?”

Wooseok meets his eyes, his expression grave. “We can. I know I can, because I will always choose you. For me, you’ll always come first.” At his silence, Wooseok continues. “Tell me this means something to you.”

Hangyul slips off the bed without answering, Wooseok’s question hanging over him as he throws on his clothes. He tosses Wooseok his own discarded ones, and after a moment, Wooseok sighs and gets dressed.

Hangyul wonders. He wonders what this─ what they did─ means to him. This still means something to him, at least. 

“To be honest?” Hangyul doesn’t know if he can do it, if he can keep what they have going. “I’m… not sure what it means. I’m feeling a lot of different things.”

“If I could have told you who I really was, back when we first met, I would have.” Hangyul wishes he can believe in Wooseok's words right now. “But you know how our job works.”

“For a guy who wants me to forget about the job, you’re determined to use it as an excuse for why it all went wrong.”

“Then what do you want me to say?” Wooseok’s voice raises a bit. “That I am sorry? Because I am, Gyul, I am.”

Hangyul only shakes his head in disgust, remaining in his spot a few steps away from where Wooseok sits on the edge of his bed.

Wooseok frowns. “Don’t do that.” He stands up, forcing Hangyul to look at him straight on. “You want me to say that I regret taking on this assignment? That I regret approaching you in that bar? _No fucking way._ Those decisions led me to you. The real you.”

“We don’t even know each other at all.” Hangyul retorts, mirroring his anger. “It’s all fake names and made-up lives.”

“You can’t fake the kind of intimacy we had. That we still have!”

“Don’t mistake fucking for intimacy.”

Wooseok scoffs. “Take your own advice.”

“Well, I wasn’t the one lying about us. About my job, yes, but not about wanting you.” This is getting too frustrating, and Hangyul bites back the sting of tears again. Damn, why is it always so easy to cry in front of Wooseok? “Every minute of you was true for me. Not part of some mission.”

He watches as Wooseok’s eyes sparkle like struck flint, and his brows furrow together in anger. “You are _so_ unbelievable.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“You lied about who you were, and put _me_ ─ the person you thought I was, some innocent computer nerd ─ in danger every single day. You weren’t any more in the right than I was!”

The words hit Hangyul like a physical blow. Wooseok’s right, Hangyul admits that much. He feels like apologizing now, and he thinks he should. He does owe him an apology. He should take responsibility, too.

But then he struggles with the words, and the apology gets stuck in his throat. At his silence, Wooseok stares at him in disbelief. “What if I had been just some nerd, huh, Hangyul?! What would have happened if CJ came when you were away?!”

“I wasn’t─” Hangyul takes a heavy breath as he feels his resentment coming back, choking him like a noose. “You know it’s different, hyung! I wasn’t giving away your personal info. I didn’t gift-wrap you for them! I _knew_ I could keep you safe!” He looks directly at his eyes. “What I did? What I did was a step down from torturing me in a warehouse.”

Wooseok steps forward and reaches for his hand, but Hangyul pulls it away and steps back, not seeing the way Wooseok deflates at his action. “That was the only way to keep you alive. I wouldn’t have hurt you if I’d had a choice.”

“You walked into that bar knowing you were going to set me up. For fuck’s sake, hyung, you handed over my real address.” Hangyul’s voice is clearly trembling, and he mentally chides himself for it. “You guaranteed my life would blow up.”

“Your address. That’s all. I gave Jinhyuk your address and that was out of my control.” _Of course, it was,_ Hangyul thinks. “Nothing else I turned over was real. I fed Jinhyuk false info about you, and what you’re doing in NIS. I protected your privacy, Gyul.”

 _No._ That’s not what Hangyul wants, not what he would have wanted Wooseok to do. “I didn’t need your protection. Do you really not get that? You could have just told me the truth!”

“It’s a damn mission, you know I can’t!” It’s an excuse, but, okay, fine. A valid one. Hangyul lets it go, and instead, asks one of the questions he most wants to know the answer of.

“What really happened that night?” _That night._ The night that it all started, in that damn bar. Hangyul had thought he knew how their story really started, but it turns out he didn’t have a single clue all this time. “No fairytale romance crap. Just the truth.”

Wooseok takes a deep breath and nods. “I watched you. Jinhyuk was convinced you were straight, but that wasn’t what the intel told him.”

“How?”

“The traitor, one of Jinhyuk’s minions, he knew. And,” Wooseok pauses, “I knew from the way you looked at me.”

“Did you already follow me before you came up to me in that bar?”

“Yes. I am not going to lie to you anymore.” At his silence, Wooseok continues. “You kept staring forward. That night, I mean.”

“I was drinking and watching a game. You sat down and smiled. And…” Hangyul trails off. He should better shut up before he can say anything else he’ll regret.

“And?”

“Nothing.”

“Stop lying.”

Hangyul chokes a laugh. “Fine. I lost my mind. Happy? I didn’t have the benefit of reading all about you in a file first.”

Despite Hangyul’s scowl, Wooseok manages a small smile. Hangyul wonders if it’s a genuine one as he follows him with his eyes. Wooseok sits on his couch still sporting the kind of smile he does when he’s recalling a nice memory. “You were much hotter than the photos I saw.”

Hangyul chooses to ignore his comment. About to ask something else, he hears Wooseok snort under his breath. “What?”

“Your ears.”

Damn it. Damn his ears. They must be even redder right now, he can feel it. Hangyul clears his throat, and tries his best to divert the attention away from his ears. “Were you supposed to move in with me right away?”

“No. I wasn’t supposed to move in with you at all.”

 _Huh...?_ “What?”

“It was supposed to be a quick hookup for me to scope out your place. I convince Jinhyuk getting in a relationship would be the best way to keep tabs on you.”

“Because that’s… what Sir Choi ordered?”

“No,” Wooseok sighs. “Jinhyuk just wanted one night to confirm the data he had collected. Byungchan insisted that I should not get involved with you _at all._ Just tell Jinhyuk that I slept with you, but not do it.”

Well, that’s… a surprise. Hangyul certainly did not expect his response, much less wrap his head around why Wooseok had chosen to do what he did. “Why?”

“Why?” Wooseok echoes, a calm smile still playing over his features. “You aren’t the only one who lost his mind that night, Gyul. _i broke protocol._ Being with you became more important than my job.”

“Oh.” Hangyul doesn’t know what to say next, and it seems Wooseok catches on it.

“You don’t have to believe me. I just─ I think you should know, at least. How much that memory means to me. What it meant.”

Hangyul plops down near the edge of Wooseok’s bed, his head low. “You understand, right?” He knows Wooseok can hear him, hear the pain in his voice. He himself hears it. “You understand why this is so hard for me, right? Not knowing what was real?”

Hangyul’s eyes meet his, and Wooseok lets out a sigh. Fingers ruffling through his hair, his wears an expression somewhere between determined and aching. “Do you really think that everyday things that happened between us ─ making the bed, washing dishes ─ were part of the job?”

“Maybe.” Hangyul mumbles as he lowers his head again.

“Sitting on the couch watching movies? Fighting over where to order dinner?”

“I don’t know.”

Wooseok sighs again and tries a different tack. “Every morning, you go into the kitchen and lean against the sink. Sip your coffee while you read the news on your phone. I could count on it. I’d walk in and see you there and smile.”

“I have habits,” Hangyul almost whispers, “like anyone else. So what?”

“You pick the raisins out of the cereal box one by one. I bought you a separate box of raisins more than once, but you always insisted they only taste good after they’ve been mixed in with the cereal.”

“What’s the point of this?”

“I notice everything about you, Gyul. Every fucking thing.” Hangyul closes his eyes and just listens. “From the way you comb your fingers through your hair to your steadfast refusal to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. Every habit, annoying or not, that is uniquely yours.”

Silence just envelopes the room for a while, until Hangyul decides to speak, eyes still on his lap. “I notice everything about you too,” he starts quietly, so quiet Wooseok would not have probably heard it if not for the stillness of the room. “Like the way you ruffle your hair when you get stressed out. Or how you fold your t-shirts into perfect squares and arrange them by color on the shelves." Hangyul follows every tear that drops on his jeans. "How you always knew the right thing to say or what to do when I came home after a hard day.”

“Gyul…”

“You think you’re the only one who paid attention? I loved you, damn it.” He meets his eyes again, and Hangyul tries his very, very best not to choke on his own tears, stopping himself at the same time from surging towards Wooseok and wiping his tears away himself. “I loved the way you’d separate each part of your meal and eat each piece of food one at a time. I loved the way you’d give my shoulders a quick rub whenever you passed behind me.” _Damn this tears. Damn this feelings._ “That’s why this is so fucking painful. Because how do I know which parts were really you? This person I spent so long learning about… The person I got to know better than I have ever known anybody. Was he even real?”

Wooseok nods slowly, keeps nodding even as the tears painfully trail from his eyes. “That was all me,” he says. “I’m─I’m still the man you fell in love with.”

“I want to believe you.” If Hangyul somehow managed to speak for a while without his voice cracking, he surely fails now. He wants to believe Wooseok. He really does. But he can’t ignore the fact that a part of him, a huge part of him, still can’t. He still can’t bring himself to fully trust him again. Yet.

Hangyul gets up on his feet, and this time, there’s no hand stopping his wrist anymore. No eyes pleading for him not to leave. As soon as he opens the door, though─ “What do you think,” Wooseok’s voice sounds expectant, sad, “these last few months were about?”

“For you,” Hangyul says, back still turned, “you were on an assignment.”

“And for you?”

“It was the worst heartbreak of my life.”


	7. too much, too much

Determined not to think about Wooseok anymore, Hangyul sits in the monitor room as he pages through file after file of intel that evening. Words blur into a black smudge, but he gets the gist of it anyway.

The sensation is all too familiar. Back before his life imploded, he’d spend hours worrying about Wooseok. Leaving Wooseok had gotten harder with each assignment, and he’d spent countless nights fraught with anxiety about the danger he’d put him in.

A little part of Hangyul thinks the joke was on him with that one.

The sound of Yohan tapping his pen on the table pulls Hangyul out from his thoughts.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Yohan puts his pen down.

“Then why are you staring at me like that?”

“Just trying to figure out why you’re down here when your boyfriend is up there.”

Hangyul decides not to answer that one, and instead asks, “Since when are you on his side?”

“I’m not, but you obviously seem to care about him.”

Hangyul just goes back to reading the file in his hands. As his mind wanders, Hangyul can’t help but fixate on one recurring element in the intel he has been reading. “Yohan, what do you think about this ‘traitor’ thing?”

“Honestly,” Yohan hums contemplatively, “it scares the shit out of me. If Kim Wooseok and Choi Byungchan are telling the truth ─ and I don’t know why they’d lie ─ we don’t know who to trust.”

“What does our boss think?”

“No idea, but that’s probably what they’re talking about now.” Yohan points a finger to the camera feed. Sure enough, Hangyul sees Seungwoo and Byungchan on one of the monitors.

“He looks pissed.” 

“Wouldn’t you be?” Yohan shrugs. “He had no idea what was going on with Wooseok, you, the traitor─ any of it.”

Sliding on a pair of headphones, Hangyul thinks it might be worth it to listen in, especially if the two are discussing Wooseok or the traitor thing.

“Ooh, spying on the bosses?”

Hangyul hears the amusement in Yohan’s voice, and seeing that Yohan makes no move to stop him anyway, he cranks up the volume. “I’m tired of being left out of the loop.” Through the monitor, Hangyul sees Seungwoo’s usual contained self knotted up in a ball of pure frustration.

It's Seungwoo who speaks first, “Mind telling me why I was left out of the loop? My team was the one with their lives on the line.”

“We couldn’t risk revealing Wooseok’s position,” Byungchan replies. “Not until the traitor is dealt with.”

“And you think I’m responsible for the leak?”

“We don’t know if the traitor has planted listening devices, or worse, infiltrated your team.”

“My team?” Seungwoo’s voice is firm, confident. “I can assure you that every member of my team is clean.”

“Hangyul certainly is, seeing as he was the target. As for the rest…” Byungchan trails off.

“They’ve been working under me for years.”

"That’s how long an effective spy would need to earn enough trust to be dangerous.”

“Okay, so,” Seungwoo sighs, leaning back on his chair, “you don’t trust my men, but you’re willing to trust this MSS contact? Since when did we put our throats in the hands of Chinese intelligence?”

“They want CJ taken down as much as we do, and Wooseok vouches for him.” Byungchan pauses, taking in consideration Seungwoo's words. “But just in case you think I’m going soft, I happen to have my best men gathering intel on this agent right now.”

With that, Hangyul slides off his headphones and tosses them on the table.

“Anything interesting?” Yohan asks.

Hangyul shakes his head. “Well, I’m sure as hell the traitor isn’t one of us.”

“Yeah, it could even be one of Choi Byungchan’s agents.” Yohan folds his arms after that, leaning back in his chair, and kicking his feet up on the table. Then he hums some kind of song Hangyul can’t remember the title of but is sure he’s heard it before.

“Say it,” Hangyul speaks up after a while.

“What?” Yohan looks at him innocently, but Hangyul knows better.

“Whatever you think you need to say, say it.”

For a second, Yohan doesn’t move, and it clearly seems to Hangyul that he wants to spill something but fights back the words instead. Eventually, he breaks the silence. “The plan starts tonight, using an MSS agent. Kim Wooseok has been out for about twenty-one hours already, so Choi Byungchan wants him back in by tomorrow morning.”

“I know.” Hangyul nods slowly, his voice unintentionally smaller than how it usually is. “Thanks, but I didn’t need the reminder.”

“This MSS guy, Cho Seungyoun, is working on the cover now. He’s supposedly out searching for us right now, then he will claim to have killed us, and drag Kim Wooseok back in pretty beaten up.”

Hangyul lets out a sigh. “It’s not going to work.”

“Probably not.” All traces of amusement leave Yohan’s face. “So maybe you should give your boyfriend a reason not to risk his life.”

The words hang in the air between them. As the minutes tick by, Hangyul tries desperately to hold onto any leftover anger he had, but to no avail. Sure, he told Wooseok that he could not forget about the personal part, that their relationship started from a lie; but right now, Hangyul isn’t too sure if he could still say the same. Now, when he thinks of Wooseok going back in, there is almost not one bit of anger. Only the fact that, for the life of him, Hangyul unbearably can’t watch Wooseok walk to his own death.

Hangyul decides he needs to give Wooseok a reason not to die.

"Do you," a hiccup, "do you think I wanted what I had with Hangyul to play out this way?"

Byungchan shakes his head as Wooseok's tears wet his shoulders. "I think you're in denial at how your relationship would end."

"Honestly, I wasn't thinking ahead." Another hiccup. "For once, I just went along with it."

"Because you actually care about him."

At that, more quiet sobs echo through the room. Just a bit louder than the ones before, but can still be considered quiet, nevertheless. Byungchan rarely sees Wooseok cry this much. In fact, the last time he has seen him do so was when Wooseok found out about his sister's death. Poor Wooseok.

"Hangyul is just— He has his head stuck up in his ass at the moment, okay?" Byungchan continues on patting his back. "He'll come around."

Wooseok breaks away when he eventually calms down. Still, his voice when he speaks again sounds too broken, even for Byungchan's ears. "I need all of this to mean something. Hurting him, breaking the rules, compromising the mission. Taking those risks and ignoring the shit I've seen all those months undercover in CJ..." Less than a minute later, Wooseok wipes his own tears away with the back of his hands. Byungchan sees the determination back in his eyes. "I started this, and I need to end it."

"What if you never see Hangyul again?"

"I," Wooseok gulps down the last of his sobs, "I can't think about that right now."

“What are you doing here?”

Hangyul has made his way through the hallway for the nth time around with one goal in mind: Wooseok. He knows he has to control himself this time; he has to do better. No matter what happens, he can’t let himself get pissed off, and he won’t leave until Wooseok _listens_. So when he finds the door of Wooseok’s room already ajar, he doesn’t bother to knock anymore and pushes through, expecting to see Wooseok standing inside. Instead, he only sees Byungchan calmly sitting on the couch. Either way, he is infinitely relieved to find Wooseok's bag still on its spot beside the bed.

“Where is he?” Hangyul starts to ask, ignoring Byungchan’s earlier question. Byungchan cocks an eyebrow, somehow remaining every bit in control of the situation. Hangyul almost admires his restraint.

“He has some work to do.” His gaze roams over Hangyul as if weighing what he could say with what he would. “Going over the details with his MSS contact.”

“Cho Seungyoun?”

Byungchan nods. “China has already said yes.”

Fighting one country is tough enough, but now, there are international stakes at play. “Does MSS hope their guy will look like a hero? Gain more trust with CJ by bringing in a traitor?”

“That’s how I spun it to get them to agree, so yes.”

When Byungchan doesn’t say anything more, Hangyul decides to ask him what's also been on his mind. “Is the mission so important to you that you’ll just keep throwing bodies at it?”

“Huh. CJ is an international threat.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Byungchan shrugs his shoulders. “I have my orders and you have yours.”

“So," Hangyul hesitates for a split second, but _fuck it,_ "this is about scoring points with the bosses?”

“You think I would risk your life, or Wooseok’s, for a promotion and a better office?”

Hangyul clenches his jaws tight. “Maybe. Maybe I do.”

With that, Byungchan pins him with a glare, his lips pressed into a thin line. His response, though, isn’t what Hangyul was expecting. “I’m sorry I sent him in.”

Hangyul isn’t sure how to respond at that, and it seems Byungchan catches up with his reaction.

“I meant I’m sorry I sent him to target _you_. Wooseok deserves _better_ than you. And if you say one more thing about it being all fake, I might shoot you myself.”

Hangyul feels himself nearly stagger with the verbal blow, and somehow, Hangyul also finds it a little difficult to breathe and stand at the same time. But he wills himself to manage.

“I’m not a heartless bitch, Hangyul,” he hears Byungchan speak again. “Wooseok is on my team. He matters to me, but so does the assignment. You’d think I’d trade Wooseok’s life to save mine?”

“I... don’t.” Hangyul finally finds his words. “But you would fight to protect someone you care about. And you don’t care about Wooseok.”

Byungchan exhales heavily at that. He walks towards the window on the other side of the room, his back turned at Hangyul. “We all have people we care about,” Hangyul hears him say. “Family.”

“I don’t." _They abandoned me a long time ago._

“Don’t pretend you’re all alone. You have your team. The man who rushed in to save Wooseok _knows_ about family.” Byungchan turns to face him again. “Maybe not traditional family, but the kind that you _create_. Despite all your ego and bluster, you understand that.”

Hangyul chooses not to respond further, because he _does_. He does understand. Turning to leave the room, he feels Byungchan’s gaze burning into his back as he exits into the hallway.

Fortunately, it doesn’t take him long to find Wooseok. Wooseok is alone in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a glass of water in hand, and gazing toward the large windows. The curtains are tied to the sides, and Hangyul can barely see the plants and trees surrounding the house. Beyond that is already darkness.

It seems Wooseok is still not aware of his presence by the doorway and Hangyul just lets it be for a while, not letting him know. Right now, as he quietly watches Wooseok, he finds himself entranced in a way. It calms him down. In fact, you could even say it _softens_ him. Whatever that word means. _Whipped...? Whipped for Wooseok._

Looking at Wooseok's peaceful expression, it doesn’t take much for Hangyul to guess what the older is thinking. Wooseok is slowly letting go of any hope of surviving this mission _._

Hangyul decides then to speak up. “What are you doing?”

Wooseok whips his head around, but his face is anything but startled. “Standing,” he replies. “Thinking.”

“About what?” Hangyul tries to lighten up the mood but— "Dying?" —well. Of _all_ things that could come out of his mouth.

“Yes. No? Maybe.” A strained smile forms on Wooseok’s lips before he takes a gulp of water. “I don’t know.”

“Nice to see you so decisive on the subject.” Wooseok snorts. Hangyul _succeeds_ this time, it seems. “If you’re done brooding… can we talk?”

After what seems a moment’s hesitation, Wooseok nods, setting the glass down on the sink. “Here?”

Hangyul joins his side in response. They remain silent for the next few seconds─ minutes, perhaps, because Hangyul isn’t too sure how long he has focused on the same window, trying to ignore Wooseok’s gaze on him. That is, until he feels a hand against the side of his face. The warmth of Wooseok’s touch spreads all over him, and it’s enough to break Hangyul’s resolve.

As he turns to face him, Wooseok leans closer until their lips are just a hair’s breadth apart, and Hangyul swears he feels some form of static vibrate between them, charging him with electricity.

Neither of them can really stop what happens next. Not that they bothered trying, really. Lips sweetly interlocking, Hangyul soon hoists Wooseok up the counter top, standing in between his legs and gripping at his waist. Wooseok’s hands tangle in his hair, pulling him in close and tight, and their bodies blend as their mouths move in sync.

It’s ages before they break the kiss, and when they do, they are both softly panting.

“Don’t start something you won’t finish.” Wooseok’s eyes are wide and vulnerable. Pleading.

“You’re— right.” Hangyul hesitantly drops his hands and pulls himself further away from Wooseok, back to Wooseok's side.

It’s most probably not what Wooseok had wanted him to do or say, but words fail him as the fire of the moment banks to embers. Hangyul slides to the floor, his head thumping against the counter as he stares at the ceiling. Without a word, Wooseok does the same, and silence falls again as they both sit side by side on the floor.

When Hangyul speaks again, his voice is too soft, too scared for his own liking; as if he’s being careful to avoid breaking some glass. “I can’t convince you not to go back, can I?” Hangyul feels a hand on top of his own, and this time, he doesn’t pull away. This time, he turns his palm up, letting their fingers intertwine.

“You can’t.” Maybe it’s the sorrow in Wooseok’s voice that breaks his heart, if not his words. And it’s when Hangyul truly realizes that all that time he was butting heads with the higher-ups, Wooseok had already made up his mind. “Are you okay?”

 _Seriously?_ Wooseok is the one going off on a suicide mission, yet, he’s worried for Hangyul. Hangyul wants to hate that, hate him for caring more for others than his own life, but he’s reminded that this is one of the many reasons he fell for him so hard. Squeezing his hand gently, Hangyul prepares himself to answer _‘yes’_. It’s not true, though. He’s very far from being okay. But if it’s what Wooseok needs to hear… then─ “Yes, I’m fine.”

The air feels thick, heavy with their mixed scents. Sweat and cinnamon, longing and regret. Hangyul knows they don’t have much time left, and he doesn’t know if he should spend the time moving on or catching up on lost time. For one, there’s so much he still doesn’t know about Wooseok.

His gaze lands on the man beside him, thinking of asking. Of wanting to know about the _real_ Wooseok.

Reaching for him, Hangyul gently pulls Wooseok’s head to rest on his shoulder. He could feel his own heart straining in his chest with how much he misses even just the simplicity of it. Of how much he wants things to remain like this forever. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he asks Wooseok softly. “One _real_ piece about you.”

It seems Wooseok doesn’t have to think long before answering. “My dad hated me… He thought I was a huge disappointment.” He picks at the seam of his jacket with his free hand. “I didn’t realize until I was older that he was just a hypocrite. He pushed me because he saw all of his failings mirrored in me.”

Feeling his heart sink at his words, Hangyul leans his head against Wooseok’s. “You are not a failure. Not at all.”

Wooseok lets out a strained chuckle. “Maybe now. Now I don’t seem like one.”

“What, were you a troublemaker?”

“Headed for jail, or death, my dad used to say.”

Hangyul gives his hand a gentle squeeze again, just enough to assure Wooseok that he’s right there with him and listening. “My dad kicked me out when," Hangyul sucks in a breath, "when he found out I wasn’t intending to continue his generation.” He smiles to himself when he feels Wooseok vibrate with laughter beside him.

“Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed.” Wooseok pulls away and lightly slaps his arm. “Why did you have to word it that way?”

Hangyul grins in response. “He even walked in at the wrong time.”

“Double shit.”

“He cut me off and... never accepted a phone call again. I spent time roaming around, in and out of group homes. Nothing stuck.” Hangyul lets out a sigh as Wooseok’s bottom lip juts out into a pout. It’s so adorable Hangyul wants to kiss it off. With nothing keeping him from doing so, he does, quick, and he drops a small kiss on Wooseok’s forehead when he yelps in surprise.

When Hangyul pulls away to look at him, his breath catches at how Wooseok, with his eyes closed and a gentle smile on his lips, looks so beautiful and so at peace.

Wrapping an arm around Wooseok’s shoulders, Hangyul pulls him close, sadly letting go of Wooseok’s hand in expense. It doesn’t matter, though, because in a second, Wooseok is holding his other hand and leaning his head against his shoulder. Playing with his fingers, Wooseok mutters, “We’re quite a pair, huh?”

Hangyul hums as he smiles against Wooseok’s hair. “Maybe we’re perfect for each other after all.”

The moment, beautiful and peaceful as it also is, gets interrupted when Hangyul’s phone buzzes in his pocket. (Again.) Reading Yohan’s text, he lets out a groan as he stands; Hangyul figures they sat for too long that his legs feel like giving out. “I should get going.”

Wooseok jumps to his feet, and the disappointment in his face nearly breaks Hangyul’s heart again. “Where are you going?”

“Team meeting. I think we’re playing backup for your stupid plan.”

“Oh. Wait─ ‘stupid plan’?” He chuckles. “Gyul, don’t be shy. Tell me how you really feel.”

Hangyul stares at his face, his hand coming up to fix some of Wooseok’s hair strands sticking out here and there. Then, he gives him a smile and pats his head twice. “I want you alive.”

Wooseok grins. “I guess that’s something.”

“Get some rest,” Hangyul reminds, then he turns to leave. Before he could go completely out of Wooseok’s sight, though, Wooseok calls after him.

"Gyul?"

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. Thank you for this.”

Hangyul smiles at him, one he hopes wouldn’t show Wooseok how much he is slowly breaking inside. “Of course.”

With that, Hangyul heads to Seungwoo’s room to figure out how to execute a plan that will probably kill the man he loves.

The events of the past twenty-four hours rattle through Hangyul’s brain as he paces his room. Wooseok is going back in and there’s nothing he can do about it. Nothing he can do to stop him from marching to his death.

After a while, Hangyul decides to finally, finally lie down to sleep, because all of this ─ running in circles in his head like this ─ is driving him crazy. But not even a minute after collapsing on his bed, he immediately flings himself back to his feet.

Hangyul has never felt this powerless before. When there’s an enemy in front of him, he knows where to shoot, but now, for perhaps the first time in his life, there is nothing he can do to save the day.

Deep in his thoughts, Hangyul doesn’t hear the knock or even the door opening. So when he turns around and finds Wooseok already standing with his back to the door and his hand resting on the handle, Hangyul briefly freezes, startled.

“Hey.”

“Is everything okay?”

Wooseok nods. “Just wanted to let you know I’m leaving tomorrow. Tonight’s my last night.” Wooseok doesn’t say it could very well be his last night _alive_ , and he doesn’t have to.

“Could you remind me again why I am agreeing to this?”

With a smile on his face, Wooseok replies, “Because it’s my decision and you’ve decided to respect that?”

Hangyul sighs in defeat. “Right.” He can admit he has spent his whole life avoiding emotional attachments. Every time he has tried, in the past ─ with his family, with his foster mom, even the guy he slept with back in training ─ they all ended up leaving.

But Wooseok is different. Or at least, Hangyul thought he _was_. Now, Wooseok is rushing back into danger and there’s nothing he can say or do to convince him not to.

It seems a grim silence settles over the room as he sits in his bed, Wooseok still by the door. Desperate to lighten the mood, Hangyul cracks a small joke. “After all those times I came to your door, I guess you decided to flip the script.”

“Well,” Wooseok lets out a soft laugh, “you could say that. To be fair, I approached you first in that bar. You even sat by yourself and gave off a ‘KEEP OFF’ vibe. So fucking hot.”

Hangyul can’t help but laugh, too. “You’d seen me before that though.”

“Yes. I… had read your file.”

Seeing the smile slowly disappear on Wooseok’s face, Hangyul gestures to the space next to him. “Come here. Just lie here for a second.”

Wooseok perks up, his face clearly lighting up as he grins. “You mean you want to cuddle?”

“It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.”

“So no?”

“Come here.” Hangyul almost rolls his eyes at Wooseok’s teasing, but he’s sure the inevitable smile playing on his lips gives him away. “If I have to say it one more time, I’m coming over to get you.”

Wooseok grins even wider, then climbs onto the bed next to him. Hangyul drapes an arm across his waist, pulling him close, and together, they fall back onto the bed. With eyes closed, forehead to forehead, they let themselves get lost in the sensation of peace.

When Wooseok eventually breaks the silence, his voice sounds weak. “I fucked all this up.” 

“No.” Hangyul pulls away slightly, allowing his other hand to brush a lock of hair away from Wooseok’s eyes. “You did your job. I can admit that now.”

“I was talking about something else, but well, I messed up my job pretty badly, too.” Hangyul tightens his arm around Wooseok, silently asking him to continue. “I was talking about my life. My childhood. My family. My mistakes. My… regrets.”

“Tell me about them.”

Wooseok seemingly hesitates, but not for long. “I liked to party when I was a teenager. Something I learned from my parents, I guess. Difference is, they were functional and I was a drunk. Sneaking the car out, going on joyrides, raiding the extensive liquor cabinet, and showing up at school piss-drunk, I was a wreck.”

“Is that why you don’t drink much now?”

“I mostly stopped years ago. A beer here and there, but never more than one, and never within hours of driving a car. Sometimes I feel tempted, but...” Wooseok trails off, pausing for a moment. “Identifying your parents’ bodies, after your father kills them both in a drunken car accident, is a pretty powerful deterrent.”

Hangyul’s whole body jerks. “God, _love_ , I’m so sorry.” He sees Wooseok mumble something under his breath, but there’s almost no sound, and Hangyul barely registers only the words ‘called’ and ‘again’. When he asks him to repeat it, Wooseok shakes his head and smiles, saying it’s nothing.

“Anyway, as you probably figured out, my whole life has been about not being him─my dad. Honestly, when I was a kid, I saw my father as an obnoxious hypocrite who cared more about what people thought than about his own kids. Sadly, not much has happened to change that assessment since. He would preach about personal responsibility, then exercise none.” Wooseok takes a deep breath. “My sister even went into military to escape him, while I thought NIS was the answer.”

“Where’s your sister now?” Hangyul asks, and he thinks Wooseok does not even notice Hangyul’s hand lightly tapping against his hip to comfort him ever since he continued his story.

“Dead.” Wooseok’s voice comes out strained, and Hangyul can tell that even in this quiet moment, he doesn’t want to talk about it. “Military hero.”

“Love... You don’t have to make everything right for everyone, okay?” Ceasing his tapping, his fingers come up to stroke Wooseok from his hair to his shoulder, and then doing it again. “That’s what going back into CJ is about, isn’t it? Some sort of penance?”

He feels Wooseok clutch onto the fabric of his shirt tighter. “I don’t regret going undercover. I couldn’t─I would never let you be dragged off.”

“Thank you.” Hangyul cups his face, his thumb soothing over his cheek. “But protecting me is not your job.” He doesn’t say it with anger. Hangyul can’t now, really. Because, all he feels, apart from the overwhelming love he has for the man in front of him, is deep, suffocating sadness.

Wooseok shakes his head. “You’re refusing to understand how much you mean to me. Maybe you just don’t want to.” His eyes are glistening as they meet Hangyul’s, and Hangyul feels his heart shatter into a million pieces again.

“You just… scare the shit out of me.”

Wooseok quietly looks at him, reading, or perhaps, searching _something_ in his eyes, before letting out a small smile past his lips. “At least you feel something for me.”

“Too much.” Hangyul’s arms tighten around Wooseok as he embraces him, burying his face as he mumbles the words against his neck. “ _Too much._ ”

“So tomorrow, first thing in the─What are you doing?” Hangyul is leaning against the headboard of his bed with a pen and paper in his hands, trying to go over the plan again with Wooseok. It’s already ten minutes past eleven, and he has yet to fall asleep, anxious, too anxious than he could admit, so what better way to spend his hours than making sure nothing would go wrong? Wooseok, though, despite sitting wide awake beside him, doesn’t seem to have the same intentions, what with him stopping Hangyul mid-sentence with a quick peck on the lips.

“What? You’re pouting. It’s literally begging me to kiss it.”

“I’m not…? Love, listen─”

He sees Wooseok’s eyes turn into pretty crescents as he’s stopped again, and the kisses come more frequently afterwards. Sweet and full of longing.

Hangyul just _melts._

“Kiss, please?” Wooseok outright pouts, but Hangyul can tell there’s more to it. Behind Wooseok’s eyes, he can see the words Wooseok hasn’t said aloud. Wooseok is saying _goodbye_ , in case this is all the time they get.

Hangyul sighs in defeat, giving up, because it takes _so_ _much_ to even resist one Kim Wooseok. Taking his sweet time, Hangyul leaves a delicate kiss on his forehead, down to both of his closed eyelids, to the tip of his nose, and finally, to his slightly parted lips. Hangyul can only hope this is enough to convey at least a part of the surface of everything he’s feeling. He has so much to say, and yet nothing comes out of his mouth, nothing but “Promise me you’ll come back home.”

“I will.”

Wooseok leans in for one more kiss, holding it for just a moment longer than usual. When they break apart, they both stare deep into each other’s eyes, understanding each and every unspoken word. With soft sounds of their breaths amidst the silence, they lie next to each other and cuddle up tight.

Together like this, tangled in the warmth of each other’s bodies, the last twenty-four hours feel like a distant memory.

Hangyul doesn’t know how long the two of them lay there; clinging to each other as the night deepens, too afraid to let each other go. He is afraid to speak, to even make a sound, and he feels choked by the reality that Wooseok ─ his Wooseok ─ will be leaving soon. He briefly starts to think that maybe, if he doesn’t say a word, they can live in this moment forever.

In the sacred space of dusk between waking and dreams, his mind drifts back to the one and only time Wooseok actually caught him in a lie. Hangyul still clearly remembers ─ he had gotten home late that night. He had hoped to sneak into bed without Wooseok noticing, but the latter was up late at his laptop. As he walked through the door of their apartment, Wooseok had flashed him a brilliant smile.

_“Hey! Late night?”_

Hangyul’s exhausted mind had latched onto the first idea that came to him. _“Yeah, just out grabbing drinks at the bar around the corner.”_

_“Really? I thought they were closed for renovations all this month.”_

_Shit. “Oh.”_ Hangyul had wished Wooseok never noticed his stammering. _“We must be talking about two different bars then.”_ Luckily, Wooseok had seemed to buy it, only giving a small shrug before turning back to his laptop. Looking back now, though, Wooseok _definitely_ knew he was lying.

Later that same night, as he held Wooseok close, drifting to sleep inside the peace and security of their shared apartment, he’d barely register Wooseok whispering into his ear. _“You know I would forgive you for anything, right?”_ His voice was soft, like a lullaby. _“I love you, Gyul. No matter what.”_

At that time, Hangyul had worried Wooseok might have thought he was cheating, but now, as he holds him close again, finally free from the lies they’d told each other, Hangyul finally gets what he really meant.

Wooseok’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “Gyul?”

“Hm?”

“You don’t have to answer this if you’re not ready… and maybe it’s not fair of me to ask…”

“Go on, what is it?”

“Do you think… do you think there’s a future where you can forgive me for what I did?” Wooseok’s voice softens even further, as if he’s almost afraid to hear Hangyul’s response. “I just need to know before I leave, if there’s a chance of us─ of coming back to you.”

Taking his hand with his own, Hangyul smiles and intertwines their hands together. “I already forgave you, love. You know I would forgive you for anything, right?” Wooseok holds him tighter, and he continues. “We both lied to one another. We both had jobs to do. You’re still the person I was with, the person I cared about.”

“Even after everything?”

“The details are different, yeah.” He chuckles, but the tears starting to well up in Wooseok’s eyes again have too much of an effect on him. “But at your core, it’s still you.”

“…I thought you liked this goofy face?” Wooseok attempts making ugly faces at him with that (keyword: _attempts_ , because Hangyul still finds him effortlessly beautiful), but a teardrop rolling down his cheek doesn’t go unnoticed.

With his thumb coming up to wipe it away, Hangyul grins. “I do.” Then he leans in, placing a tender kiss on his lips. “I’m not going to pretend everything that happened is fine, or that I don’t still have mixed feelings about it all… but when you _come back_ , we can figure it all out. I forgive you for everything, love. And I’m sorry too. For _everything._ I’m sorry it took me this long to finally say it.”

“Thank you, Gyul. Just… thank you.” Wooseok gulps through his sobs and smiles. Despite the tears not stopping from falling from his eyes, Wooseok manages to show Hangyul the sincerest and happiest face Hangyul hadn’t seen from him in a while. “I thought I had lost you. I thought─”

Hangyul gently shushes him, petting his hair as he repeats _‘I’m here, okay? Don’t cry’_ over and over again. He holds Wooseok tight against his chest, breathing in his scent. Trying to memorize the feeling of his body against his. He doesn’t know how long it took for them both to drift off, but when Hangyul does step into dreamland, he dreams of Wooseok.

Of Wooseok and a happy future together with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pushed it back three more chapters, oops. *insert mc seungyoun's voice* author wants to know who you think is the traitor!! place your bets! (yes this has probably everything to do with the plot)


	8. unknown

Hangyul awakens the next morning alone.

Running down the stairs and into the main hall, he does not notice the breath he has been holding all along; not until he huffs out a sigh of relief when he finds Wooseok casually having a conversation with Yohan and Eunsang by the couches. _Thank God he hasn’t left yet._

“Was the plan to run off and let me find out you had left from someone else?”

Wooseok laughs, turning to look at him upon hearing his voice. “Of course not.”

“You’re sneaking out of bed now, that’s new.” He smiles, planting a kiss on the crown of Wooseok's head, and snakes an arm behind him. “Good morning, love.”

“Hey!” Eunsang waves a hand in front of Hangyul’s face. “You can see us standing right here, right?”

“The exchange is in an hour,” Yohan reminds him after he takes a brief glance at his wristwatch. “We need to beat Wooseok-hyung up so Lee Jinhyuk will believe he’s been fighting us.”

The excitement Yohan has failed to hide in his tone and features makes Hangyul roll his eyes, despite the smile still on his lips. “Right, good morning to you, too, Yohan. Where are we on the stupid plan?” _Stupid plan._ For Hangyul, it’s easier than calling it a suicide mission.

Right then, Seungwoo and Byungchan both emerge from the kitchen. “The MSS contact is on his way to the drop site,” Seungwoo answers as he leans against a nearby wall, arms crossed, right beside the free couch Byungchan has taken a seat on.

“Who is this guy again?” inquires Hangyul, remembering he has almost no information about the guy other than his name, and that he works for CJ, too.

“Cho Seungyoun,” Wooseok replies as if Hangyul has just asked the dumbest question. “Another double agent.” 

“We know his name, fine. But what else do we know about him?”

Wooseok quirks a brow and fixes him a kind of look that almost makes Hangyul feel like Wooseok is sizing up his question. “We know… enough. What is this about, Gyul?”

Hangyul sighs and plops back against the couch’s backrest. “He could bring you in and turn on you the next second.”

“He doesn’t get any benefit from that,” Byungchan interjects, and Hangyul watches him take a sip of what seems to be tea in the cup he has been holding.

“You act like this isn’t kill-or-be-killed work.”

“Seungyoun could have sold me out a long time ago and didn’t.” Wooseok crosses his arms reflexively as he speaks, Hangyul notices, and he knows ─ knows it very well in fact ─ that it’s one of Wooseok’s tells. It’s something Wooseok would do whenever a topic made him uncomfortable, the same pose he had taken when his father came up in conversation. But, _why?_

Just then, Hangyul has just noticed his hand holding Wooseok had already dropped to the couch, probably for a while now. He puts it over the other’s thigh in assurance, and the gesture seemingly worked to relax Wooseok. “Did you know him before you met in CJ?” Hangyul tries again.

“He’s a bodyguard. Probably going to be assigned to Jinhyuk soon.”

And Hangyul finds it interesting, too ─ Wooseok’s answer. But not half as interesting as Wooseok’s sudden vomiting of irrelevant information. “So, you guys started talking, and what, traded spy secrets?”

“No.”

The playful smile on Hangyul’s face slowly fades as he notices how Wooseok seems to take his light remark too seriously. “Then explain it to me, love,” he asks slowly, gently, and Wooseok bites his lower lip then; the action not going past Hangyul.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“This is almost painful to watch,” Eunsang sighs as he slumps back his seat beside Yohan on the opposite couch.

Even Byungchan shakes his head, “Gentlemen, we are on a time-table.”

“And you’re supposed to be grown-ups,” Seungwoo adds and grumbles under his breath.

But then Seungwoo and the others don’t actually step up to stop Hangyul’s interrogation, so it doesn’t hurt to continue asking, right? Besides, he’s being gentle with it as much as he can, despite already feeling a pit forming in his stomach.

“You were fine spilling secrets to some guy from MSS... but you wouldn’t tell people at NIS, especially me?”

At that, Wooseok sighs. It seems that he’s finally given up dodging his questions. “I knew him, Gyul,” he answers, simple.

“I don’t get it.”

Wooseok puts a hand over Hangyul’s that is still on his lap, and the action makes Hangyul fear for the truth in his mind even more. “Yes, Hangyul. _You do_.”

“Oh, shit,” Eunsang and Yohan both mutter under their breaths, but Hangyul vaguely hears them. What he hears, what he senses, is that red haze coloring his vision.

“You’ve been sleeping together, too?” The trace of harshness in despite Hangyul’s quiet voice, and his very words─ regretting over them is one thing, sure, but he has already asked it. Wooseok has seemingly flinched at his question, panicked, but his grip on his hand tightens.

“I knew him before you─”

“What does that mean?”

“They were on a joint task force together a few years ago.” It’s Byungchan who has decided to interrupt. Maybe to ease the growing tension, maybe to signal Hangyul to stop asking. Hangyul isn’t sure.

“I want him to answer,” Hangyul mumbles, still barely audible, as a response to Byungchan, but his eyes never leave Wooseok.

“I just did.” Wooseok breaks the eye contact as he looks at their joined hands. Or rather to his hand holding Hangyul’s. “Yes. Yes, we slept together.” Hangyul has almost never noticed his own hands trembling until Wooseok gives it a soft squeeze, silently asking him to listen when he senses Hangyul’s distress. “But it was a long time ago, before you. Believe me, Gyul, it meant nothing.”

_You seem to excel at those types of relationships._

Hangyul shuts his eyes closed like how he shuts out that voice in his head. He chooses to listen this time, to believe in Wooseok’s words, and Hangyul finds that it isn’t actually that hard to do so. Yesterday, maybe, it would have been difficult, but now, he manages. He finds it somehow easy to ignore the small ache in his chest; because despite his eyes being closed, he _sees_ the sincerity and truth in Wooseok’s words.

As his eyes meet Wooseok’s again, Hangyul just intertwines their hands together, and sees the tension visibly leave Wooseok’s shoulders. He squeezes his hand in apology ─ he honestly doesn't know particularly why, but he feels like he should ─ and Wooseok seems to get it as a smile lights up his features. Relieved, Wooseok mouths a ‘thank you.’

Seungwoo clears his throat, and the not-so-subtle gesture sends a clear reminder that there are still other things to deal with. “So, we have to move. There’s a rendezvous time and place, right, Wooseok?”

“Seungyoun set it. We’ll get the rest of the directions on the way.”

At his words, Hangyul feels the growing ache in his chest again, but of a different matter. To be honest, he hates it, the fact that Wooseok’s life is in the hands of a man he has never met. A terrible plan, for Hangyul at least. “So we put you in without eyes or ears?” he asks Wooseok.

Wooseok nods. “Seungyoun will report back to NIS when possible, too.”

“Then,” Hangyul sighs, “if you trust him that much…”

“I do.”

Wooseok’s eyes are expectant, anticipating, and Hangyul is just, sinfully, weak against it. Who is he to deny that? “Fine.” Hangyul doesn’t even know what he’s directly agreeing to, but the words seem to make Wooseok smile anyway.

“So,” Byungchan stands up, leaving his cup on the table. “This is starting at ten. We have to prepare, Wooseok.” With that, he walks out of the room, taking Wooseok with him, but not before Wooseok leaves a short kiss on Hangyul’s lips first.

At his absence, Hangyul feels the anxiety coiling further in the pit of his stomach. The plan still seems too risky.

That’s when an idea came to him. _Formulating a backup plan._ Right. Hangyul already knows the safest way to take this. He will just have to trust that Yohan and Eunsang will follow his lead.

“After we meet with this Cho Seungyoun, the three of us are going to remain as backup,” Hangyul starts, facing both Eunsang and Yohan. “Yohan and I will be on the ground. Eunsang can relay messages to Sir Seungwoo, so Choi Byungchan is kept in the dark as long as possible.”

Yohan nods approvingly. “So far, I like this plan.”

Seungwoo raises a brow, though. “You realize I’m standing right here, right? That I could easily shut down your plan? What if I say no?”

“You won’t,” Hangyul replies confidently. “Choi Byungchan is taking a risk and you know it. And we both know you have never fully trusted the MSS.”

“Gyul…” Seungwoo just sighs, and Hangyul takes that as a good sign.

“We also both know that if anything goes wrong, I will make a move to save Wooseok-hyung,” Hangyul adds for good measure. “You _can’t_ stop that. But you _can_ make sure you have a say in how I make it happen.”

Seungwoo is still silent, considering his words with lips pursed. After a moment, he says in finality, “Yohan is lead. You follow his orders, Hangyul. If you don’t, these two have the permission to shoot you and leave you behind.”

Hangyul figures that is probably the best he’s going to get. “Deal.”

“Wooseok leaves in an hour. Do whatever you need to get ready.” Seungwoo pushes himself from the wall. “Once he leaves, there’ll be a very tight window to follow.”

“Hm, then I’ll go eat breakfast some more.” Eunsang waves at them and heads to the kitchen, bringing Byungchan's empty cup with him.

Just then, Yohan abruptly stands up. “I’ve got something to take care of.”

 _Odd…_ Hangyul thinks Yohan has never been this urgent before a mission before. Yohan usually likes to relax a bit, take it easy. He even said it calms his nerves when Hangyul asked about it once.

_What could be so important, Yohan?_

Hangyul would have trailed after him if he was another person, but Yohan is his best friend. Hangyul trusts him. (Plus, his mind feels like it’ll explode even when he just woke up.) For sure, Yohan is just going to do a few stretches. Maybe pack some stuff, too, given that this safe house has a lot of traps and explosives stored in one of its rooms. It’s for good measure, but Hangyul hopes they wouldn’t need those later.

Mind spinning with everything this morning entailed, Hangyul heads back to his room.

 _This is it._ One more hour, and everything finally starts. Finally goes down. Hangyul won’t be able to hide from it anymore. They will meet up with this Cho Seungyoun too, and he will finally see the man whose job will be to keep Wooseok alive.

And Hangyul will have to say goodbye to Wooseok, too. Maybe for the last time.

Hangyul starts gathering his things, desperate not to think about how this could be the end. And praying beyond hope that it won’t be.

As the military van rumbles along the country road, Hangyul can barely quiet his restless mind. Cho Seungyoun will be there, the man from Wooseok’s past, and someone he still can’t bring himself to trust. He looks at the person comfortably leaning against his side, head on his shoulders. Wooseok is still wearing the clothes he was in during his dip in the river. (It has dried, too, fortunately. He wouldn’t want Wooseok getting a cold now.) Earlier, everyone has agreed that for the cover story to make sense, Wooseok would need to wear the same suit. After all, he should be out of ammo and on the edge of reason, so he wouldn’t have had the time to change.

Yohan brings the van to a halt in front of a barn. It is painted red, looking old, and resembling a ramshackle. The paint chips off at where it meets the barely-there dried grasses around it. It seems unused for the most part, and the wide field of tall grasses surrounding it from a distance seems not recently taken care of, too.

Wooseok gets out first, followed by Yohan, and then Hangyul. The three of them fan out, searching the empty area with weapons ready. A few moments later, a strange whistle sounds over the rustling of trees. Wooseok seems to recognize the sound, and slowly picks his way towards it. “Be careful,” Hangyul quietly reminds him as he follows close behind.

As though materializing from the shadows, a figure appears in the barn’s doorway. Stepping into the daylight is a tall figure wielding an impressively large gun. _This must be Cho Seungyoun_ , Hangyul thinks.

“Hey,” the man greets with his weapon raised as he walks close to where they are. A giddy smile plays on his features, and Hangyul finds that he doesn’t like that smile one bit. The man’s eyes rake over Hangyul and Yohan, smile never fading, then his eyes snap to Wooseok. “Sloppy to almost get burned like that, huh.”

Wooseok has stopped walking upon seeing the man. “Thanks for agreeing to help,” he replies.

“You know the rules. If Jinhyuk finds out about you, I’ll kill you off and stay under.”

 _Good─ What?!_ Hangyul can’t almost believe what he has heard. “Are you kidding?”

Seungyoun settles his attention on him, and Hangyul swears there is no hiding Seungyoun’s annoyance underneath the friendly façade he sports. “What do you think, Mr…?”

“Forget this.” Hangyul reaches for Wooseok’s arm. “Let’s go.”

With that, Seungyoun lifts his gun─ “Oops. That’s no longer an option.” ─and fires. Even with the silencer, the shot is deafening. Wooseok’s knee buckles. He doesn’t scream, no, but a rush of air escapes his throat as he starts to totter. “It’ll be more believable if Wooseok is injured.”

Fury rips through Hangyul as he instantly storms toward Seungyoun, his fingers itching for his gun. He can’t shoot Seungyoun, he knows that, but hey, he can at least teach this bastard a lesson─ _Fuck this._ Sure, he can, but not now. Wooseok and his safety is his top priority. Lunging forward, he catches Wooseok before the latter can crumple to the ground. “Are you okay?”

“Been better.” Wooseok manages to smile at him in between his grimace. “Thanks for the assist.”

“This asshole almost killed you.”

Wooseok shakes his head, smiling a bit as he squeezes Hangyul’s shoulder. “He’s just doing his job, Gyul.”

“His job shouldn’t involve you getting hurt,” he grits his teeth as he throws the deadliest glare he can muster at Seungyoun. Still holding Wooseok in his arms, Hangyul looks back at him when he feels another squeeze. His breath catches at Wooseok’s eyes filled with tenderness and gratitude.

A soft chuckle escapes Wooseok. “This is why I fell for you,” Wooseok’s words are barely a whisper, but with the closeness, Hangyul hears them. He sees the truth all the same in Wooseok’s eyes. “I don’t know how you managed to survive in a job like this without it hardening you."

“It’s a through-and-through on the fatty part of his leg.” Ignoring the loud thundering of his heartbeat against his ears, Hangyul finds Seungyoun smiling, _fucking_ smiling, as he studies the wound he’s inflicted on Wooseok. “A believable injury,” Seungyoun adds, nodding to himself.

“If you say so…” Wooseok makes an effort to stand up with the help of Hangyul. “It hurts like hell.” With no Wooseok to ground him, it takes all of Hangyul to not rush forward and break Seungyoun’s neck.

They hear a sound of a van’s door opening and closing, and Eunsang rushes to them. Yohan immediately stands on guard beside him. Carefully studying Wooseok’s wound, Eunsang looks up at Hangyul, alarmed. “Hyung, he could bleed out─”

“I know where to shoot.” A smirk still tugs at Seungyoun’s mouth, and Hangyul feels a huge urge to fucking shoot him dead right then and there. Man, if Hangyul has thought that his dislike of Seungyoun is biased and actually unreasonable, now, no, he terribly hates his guts. This motherfucker. Hangyul’s hand creeps towards his gun, but ─ fortunately, for this Cho fucking Seungyoun ─ it stops when he suddenly feels a warm hand over it.

Wooseok intertwines their hands together. “It’s okay, Gyul, really,” he reassures. “I’ve experienced worse. A bandage, some sealing powder, and an injection, and I’ll be fine.”

Yohan takes Wooseok’s free arm and puts it over his shoulders, preparing to support his weight. Then he nods at Hangyul to do the same. “Come on, let’s lay him down inside.”

They had carried Wooseok to the barn, Eunsang following close behind. The wooden floor seems clean at least, almost no dust. A few spider webs on the corners and only a few crates stacked up against one of the walls. Still, after they had gently seated Wooseok, Hangyul settles beside him and pushes the kneecap of his wounded leg up. Holding it in place, he makes sure the wound won’t touch the floor and get infected.

Cho fucking Seungyoun was the last to join them. When he finally saunters in, he raises an eyebrow and snorts at the three of them. “He’ll live, guys! You’re all so dramatic!”

Hangyul utterly feels his blood boiling. One wrong angle and this fucking man could’ve killed Wooseok. And worse, he probably wouldn’t even care. “You could have─”

“So, which one are we pretending to kill?” Seungyoun talks over him, clearly disinterested of hearing Hangyul and his angry fit. The look in his eyes as he asked Wooseok is so innocent, _so, so_ deadly innocent. Hangyul isn’t this violent, but man, he has finally found someone who could easily bring it out of him.

“Both,” Wooseok replies as he watches Eunsang wrap a bandage around his wound to stem the bleeding. Hangyul would have asked what he meant but then he hears Eunsang speak,

“He needs medical attention, hyung.”

Seungyoun looks at Wooseok’s leg, his gaze following the trail of blood up until the barn’s door. All while his lips are pursed in contemplation, and oh. Ever-so-sweet Hangyul would’ve loved to punch it off his face. “See to it,” Seungyoun orders.

“You’re giving orders now?” Hangyul, no matter how petty his rudeness is, still thinks that his question is valid. Fuck Cho fucking Seungyoun and his orders.

Despite it, Eunsang scrambles to his feet and races outside. Soon, he’s back at Wooseok’s side, medical kit in hand.

“No one is going to believe I escaped you two without bloodshed.” Wooseok’s voice pulls Hangyul out of his glaring contest with Seungyoun. Not that Seungyoun glares back. In fact, he is grinning the whole time, probably completely aware of the effect it has on Hangyul. Not the fluffy type, of fucking course, but the _God-forbid-me-I-could-fucking-kill-this-man-right-now_ kind of feeling.

Wooseok sighs when Hangyul meets his eyes. He smiles and ruffles Hangyul’s hair, and everyone can pretend the little violent monologue on Hangyul’s mind just a moment earlier didn’t happen.

“Gyul,” Wooseok adds when he feels Hangyul’s tension diminishing, “for this to work, we need to fake your deaths. Provide proof.”

Hangyul finds himself confused at first, but then, he remembers the earlier conversation between Wooseok and Cho fucking Seungyoun. Of who they will be pretending to kill. Now that he thinks about it─

“We’ll videotape it, and say I witnessed it, alright?” Seungyoun paces. He stops and looks back at all of them, still smiling like what he’s saying is the brightest idea ever. “It’s not perfect, but it gets Wooseok closer to preserving his career.”

 _And his life,_ Hangyul wants to add. He can’t believe he’s about to agree with this idea. It sounds fine, but it’s from Cho fucking Seungyoun, and Hangyul can’t stomach to take it. Also─

“We don’t have the equipment to pull this off,” Yohan voices out the same thoughts as him.

Eunsang winces. “Actually, we do. We have a few packs of blood and the tripwire.”

“You knew about this?” Yohan turns to him, disbelief all over his face.

“Seungwoo-hyung filled me in.” Eunsang sports an apologetic smile. “He wants you both to play dead. Hangyul-hyung and you.”

“Huh?” Hangyul turns to Wooseok, utterly confused, and partly annoyed he wasn’t filled in with this plan earlier. “But if the plan goes sideways, I need to come for you─”

“No, Gyul.” Wooseok takes his free hand and clasps them together. “That is not how it’s going to go this time.”

 _Goddammit,_ Hangyul curses under his breath. “So it really is up to this Cho─” _fucking_ “─Seungyoun to keep you safe, huh.”

“Uhh, no?” Seungyoun snorts. “Of course not.”

“His job is to get me back inside again, Gyul. If my cover gets blown, Seungyoun needs to make sure his doesn’t, too.”

_What? No, no─_

“Ding, ding, ding!” Seungyoun grins at him after briefly glancing over his watch. “It’s time to kill you.”

The video had taken ten minutes to pull off. In light of the limited equipment and time, it is a miracle it worked, really. Once Seungyoun declared it usable, Hangyul’s team packs up the supplies and hunkers down by the van to wait.

There are still minutes before the plan finally spins into motion. _Minutes before Wooseok leaves with this overly suspicious man._

Hangyul can see the two of them now, talking by the barn. Wooseok is leaning against the barn door with his hand on his injured leg. Hangyul figures Wooseok won’t get more than a few steps in that condition before the pain takes over. If Cho fucking Seungyoun is going for realism, he has achieved it, and he has also taken away any chance Wooseok has of running if it becomes necessary.

Irritation eats at Hangyul as he watches their conversation. There’s also that other thing, one that Hangyul hates to admit. He considers listening in to their talk, too, but Hangyul stops himself. Whatever happened between the two of them, Hangyul knows he's better off trusting Wooseok’s words. He trusts him when he sincerely said it’s all in the past. They’re probably just discussing the mission, anyway. Hangyul doesn’t want to mess anything up just because he is jealous.

Yohan strolls up to Hangyul, scrubbing the fake blood off his cheek. “Man, how did Wooseok-hyung even live with you?” He starts, amused. “You’re one moody son of a bitch.”

Hangyul snorts. “He didn’t have a choice. He was ordered.”

“Whoops. That took quite a dark turn.” Yohan pats his shoulder as he takes the spot beside Hangyul, leaning against the van’s passenger door.

“That’s not what I heard, though, hyung?” Eunsang talks as he steps out of the van, having finished loading the equipment back inside. “Rumor is, he got in trouble for starting an actual relationship with you. Then when he failed to turn over what he had learned to Sir Choi, he threatened to yank his clearance. Sir Choi was pissed.”

“Did you two practice this routine?” Hangyul quirks an eyebrow, but he honestly finds it amusing to know there were rumors like that. For sure, that wasn’t just a rumor, though. He laughs under his breath as his gaze lands back at Wooseok.

“Just filling in some of the blanks.” Yohan grins. “But continue to be jealous. That seems to be working for you.”

“I’m not─”

“He still got Wooseok-hyung’s kisses and cuddles.” Eunsang chuckles.

“Yeah, it does do something about his foul mood.” The two of them starts laughing loudly at Yohan’s remark, and Hangyul just gives up defending himself.

With a fond smile and a shake of his head, Hangyul simply retorts, “I’m going to shoot you both.”

Hangyul watches as Wooseok nods briefly at Seungyoun and walks over to where the three of them stand. Wooseok’s pants and one of the sleeves of his shirt are covered in blood. Not just like the fake blood Yohan and he had moments earlier, but real blood. Hangyul’s heart sinks yet again.

“That looks bad.” Yohan winces before he slaps Wooseok on the shoulder, amazed. “You’re one tough guy, hyung.”

“We need a second.” Hangyul wraps an arm around Wooseok’s lower back, making sure to shift Wooseok’s body weight to him. Wooseok leans his head against Hangyul’s shoulder, grateful.

“Literally one, hyung. Wooseok-hyung is barely held together with strings and band-aids.”

Hangyul shoots Eunsang a look, and gladly, the younger gets the hint. Giving Hangyul a wink, Eunsang wanders off, whistling. Yohan, too, gives a shrug and follows Eunsang close behind.

“Love, we placed a tracker on the car,” Hangyul softly says when he figures the two have gone far enough. “You can take it off when you get close, but we will be following you via satellite, and whether you like it or not, we’ll be close by.”

Wooseok’s nose scrunches up at him, brows slightly furrowed, and Hangyul has half a mind to think how adorable he looks. “That’s not what the plan is,” Wooseok says.

“Yeah,” Hangyul tucks a lock of hair away from Wooseok’s eyes, “but it’s _our_ plan. I’ll be watching, and if Cho makes a move─”

“Gyul…”

“I know, I know. Just. Just do it please, love? And then we…” Words fail Hangyul. He had been so sure the words would come to him naturally. Something that would let Wooseok know how much he means to him.

“You can finish it when I get back.” Wooseok smiles at him, and it’s all it took to lighten up Hangyul’s entire being.

Cho fucking Seungyoun chooses that moment to cut in, however, his car honking from a distance. Lowering his window, he calls for Wooseok for them to leave. Hangyul can only watch as Wooseok nods and heads off toward the car.

“You’re really going to let it end like that?” Yohan speaks over his shoulder. Hangyul hadn’t realized Yohan has walked up to him or whether he had been listening all along. “You’re just gonna let him walk away, knowing the risks, and not say anything?” he continues.

The question catches Hangyul off guard. “No,” Hangyul takes a breath of courage. “I have one last thing I need to do.”

Yohan nods, smiling as he gives him a brief push. “Good, then do it.”

With that, Hangyul races after Wooseok.

When the older spins around, his balance falters, but Hangyul catches him around the waist, and immediately pulls him tight against his chest. Forget easing in. Hangyul treats Wooseok to a long, dragging kiss, trying to pack every ounce of longing and regret into those breathless seconds. It’s the kind of kiss that makes a promise and demands something in return. It’s strong and insistent. Demanding more as their lips and tongues hit.

After what feels like ages, and still it isn’t long enough, they break apart, albeit foreheads still touching.

“I love you,” Wooseok breathes out. Soft. Sincere. It stirs everything in Hangyul when he hears those three words again. With everything they have been through, it holds much more. Much, much more. And this time, this time Hangyul knows that it’s real.

Heart still thundering in his chest, the cold reality splashes over him as he holds Wooseok’s gaze. In a matter of minutes, hours, _it_ could happen. That one thing Hangyul fears the most in his life, even over his own death. “Don’t die,” Hangyul mumbles, like a prayer. As he places a tender kiss on Wooseok’s forehead, staying there just bit longer, Hangyul pleads. He pleads to all of universe to keep his Wooseok safe.

Wooseok nods and smiles, and it is _so, so_ gentle it hurts. He gives Hangyul’s hand a squeeze, and Hangyul brings their clasped hands to his lips, dropping a feather-light kiss over Wooseok’s knuckles. _Don’t die,_ his mind softly whispers against it. _Don’t die._

After another utterly irritating sound of a honk, Hangyul watches as Wooseok finally climb into the car and drive away.

Away from Hangyul.

As Hangyul sits between Yohan and Eunsang in the military van still parked in front of the barn, only thoughts of Wooseok ping around his brain. Right now, Wooseok is off to Seoul again, treading the rogue waters of CJ without backup, no real exit strategy, and no contacts─ well, no contacts except for Seungyoun, but the man has made it abundantly clear he isn’t going to stick his neck out for Wooseok. Hangyul can’t ignore the growing fear in his gut, but he still tries to. He still tries to trust that Wooseok’s plan will go well, that Seungyoun will bring him there safe. That matters won’t get worse, and Seungyoun won’t have the need to finish him off at all.

Hangyul shoves the dreaded thoughts in his mind, pushing them down as hard and deep as he can. There’s no good thinking about them now, and Hangyul knows he has to focus on the mission at hand. But even without thoughts of bullets and dead spies leaving a bloody wake in his imagination, one more thought nags at Hangyul.

Hangyul still doesn’t know who the traitor is. It’s clear that Wooseok was telling the truth about there being a mole, but they still have no leads. Zero clues about this particular someone who had leaked secrets about him to CJ. Someone who is still out there, and who still has the potential to destroy everything.

Eunsang had hooked up the military van with an array of high-tech surveillance equipment, including a monitor displaying a live feed of Seungyoun’s car. Unable to do anything but wait for his cue to move in, Hangyul watches the monitor and just, painfully, wait.

Meanwhile, Eunsang sits at one of the other monitors, tapping keys to cycle through live feed of the Lee’s various estates, and more notably, their estate in Gangnam where the rendezvous is set for.

“How are you holding up, hyung?” Eunsang asks him, concern etched in his voice.

“I’ve been better.” Hangyul just gives a weak smile, eyes still never leaving the monitor.

“You’re not exactly a big romantic gesture guy, are you, Hangyul?” Yohan asks the question as he leans over, zooming in on one of the monitors.

Hangyul knows he should be watching the screen, _actually_ watching and not just looking, but he can’t focus. Images of Wooseok flood his mind. Of the last time the two them kissed, and of the shiver of longing, so sweet, and unexpected, when his lips met his. Then, he thinks about his final words to Wooseok from earlier.

 _Not the right ones._ Not the ones he should have said. _I… should have told Wooseok-hyung I love him._

A part of Hangyul worries too much. What if he doesn’t get the chance to say those words to him again? What if─ No, Wooseok is going to make it through all of this. Hangyul believes in him; he can only believe in him, can only pray that he does come back to him. Alive. No matter how impossible it seems.

Still, he could have told Wooseok, right? Tell him he loves him, too. Why was it so difficult to say a while ago? To say it again, after knowing about everything? It’s not like he doesn’t love Wooseok anymore. In fact, he loves him too much. So damn much. He has fallen for him way deeper than anyone could ever imagine.

When his parents kicked him out, Hangyul learned the hard way that love had conditions. He had vowed never to get entangled in it again. But then, Wooseok had to come into his life and change everything. It’s too terrifying, the way Hangyul’s life and perspective of the world around him has changed so much, yet again, in just these few days. All because of one organization. Life is short, terrible. Everything could be gone in a blink of eye. Like how the love of his life could be in just a matter of─ _Stop, Hangyul. You’re not helping yourself._

Just the thought of it is horrifying, really. But as Wooseok still continues to stay in his mind rent-free, Hangyul can’t help but also think that perhaps, all of this is for the best as well. Because _this_ is better than living inside the fragile bubble he and Wooseok have kept themselves in. The false sense of protection they had covered each other with.

With that in mind, next time, the moment Wooseok finally comes home to him again, Hangyul will make sure to tell him everything he needs to say. Every single piece of his mind.

“You should stop eavesdropping,” replies Hangyul as he attempts to collect himself together.

Yohan just shrugs, “I thought I was in charge?”

On screen, Seungyoun’s car pulls into a parking garage. Losing the visual on the car makes Hangyul’s heart hammer.

_That wasn’t part of the plan..._

Unexpected changes to the plan, even slight ones, never sit well with Hangyul. Without sound in the car, the three of them have to guess and wait.

When the car passes out the other side, Hangyul breathes a sigh of relief. But despite it, he can’t shake away the feeling. Even with visuals on Seungyoun’s car restored, something sits uneasy within him.

“Eunsang-ah, can you access the garage’s video feed?”

Anything could have happened in that garage. _Anything_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/seokgyuls) but kinda ia rn // sighs
> 
> thoughts???


	9. it's not love, love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi? it's been almost two months i'm sorry huhu tbh i thought of not finishing this fic but yeah i'm back <3 we're almost at the end yay i hope i could finish this the soonest, and a big thanks to everyone who has been reading and commenting so far! i'm still working on improving my writing skills so your comments meant a whole lot to me!

“Eunsang-ah, can you access the garage’s video feed?”

“What?” Eunsang eyes him curiously. “Why would I do that?”

“But Hangyul,” Yohan adds, “we don’t want to lose track of Seungyoun’s car by looking at older footage.” What they are saying makes sense on paper, Hangyul knows that, but he can’t shake the feeling that there _is_ something going on. Something… _bad?_

For a second, he considers letting it go, but in the end, Hangyul chooses to listen to his gut and insist that they view the footage. “Just do it.”

Eunsang looks at Yohan, who nods in return. Several key clicks later, the video feed shimmers on-screen. “There,” Eunsang says as Hangyul grabs the laptop from him, slowing down the video speed as the car enters the garage.

That’s when he sees it.

A green sedan exits the parking garage five minutes after Seungyoun’s car does.

“What the hell?” Gasps fill the van as Eunsang points to one corner of the screen. “Look where it’s headed.”

“The Lee’s countryside mansion.” Hangyul clenches his teeth together, not noticing his own knuckles turning white at how hard he grips the sides of the laptop.

The said mansion, in particular, is located in the _opposite_ direction of the rendezvous point. The puzzle pieces crash together in Hangyul’s head in a series of horrifying clicks. “The MSS and NIS… they share a large amount of intel.” Hangyul looks at the two as realization hits them, too. “Information that easily could be acquired by a high-level agent.”

“The traitor…” Eunsang mutters.

“No wonder Choi Byungchan wasn’t able to find him in the NIS…” Yohan adds, still obviously mindfucked at the newly found piece of information. “He was looking in the wrong place.”

Hangyul wastes no attention away from the screen. “They’re in the green car.” Eunsang swears under his breath as he picks up his cell. “Who are you calling?” Hangyul asks.

“I need Seungwoo-hyung to give us access to satellite images and CCTV feeds.” And Hangyul doesn’t need to ask why any further. Eunsang, for sure, is going to track the green car. “I’m going to figure out where your idiot boyfriend is, then kill that Cho Seungyoun guy just for fun.” He shifts to the bench across from Hangyul and starts talking hurriedly to Seungwoo.

“If anyone can survive this, it’s Wooseok-hyung,” Yohan says from beside him, reassuring Hangyul in his own way.

“He’d better.” Hangyul mumbles back. _He’d better._

“Definitely sounds like you care.” Yohan’s voice is laced with lightness as he says it, and Hangyul finds the teasing helpful amidst the anxiety bubbling up in his gut and progressively swallowing him whole. He doesn’t even bother denying Yohan’s words. Not this time.

“I do,” he mutters simply.

Eunsang hands him the phone, “Seungwoo-hyung wants to talk to you.”

As soon as Hangyul takes the phone, Eunsang starts entering commands into the transport’s computer system. “I’ll get us moving,” Yohan gets up, aiming for the driver’s seat. “You see what’s up with Seungwoo-hyung.”

Hangyul brings the phone to his ear, “Sir?”

[“I said Seungwoo-hyung is fine, Hangyul... But enough of that for now, Eunsang filled me in on what’s going on.”] Hangyul thinks he has never heard Seungwoo’s voice with this _much_ distress and concern until now. To be fair, this kind of case is something his team has never faced before. He isn’t sure if this is still something new on Seungwoo’s side, but at least for the three of them, it is. [“You made the right move by convincing me to let you take the surveillance equipment with you. Otherwise we might not have caught this in time. I’m sorry for not trusting you more readily before.”]

Hangyul shakes his head despite the other not seeing it. “You were doing your best with the intel you had. You gave us the equipment we needed.”

[“I just hope it’s enough.”] There’s a pause on the other end of the line. [“I’m guessing you’re going after him? And I suppose nothing I say about the inherent risk will dissuade you?”]

“No, sir. I mean, no, hyung.”

[“You know… Wooseok could very well be… _dead_ by now. Seungyoun could have executed him the second he was out of sight. Even if he didn’t, they’ll reach the mansion before you. If Seungyoun hasn’t killed him, Jinhyuk certainly will...”] Seungwoo sighs. [“I just don’t want you sacrificing three agents to save one that’s likely lost.”]

“Hyung, I…” Hangyul perfectly understands him, knows that Seungwoo definitely cares for them and their lives. But he’s not going to back down now, no matter how small the chances are. “I’m not going to force Yohan and Eunsang into this. This isn’t their fight, or their mission. If they don’t feel comfortable taking this on, they’re free to go.”

[“You know they will follow you to hell and back, Hangyul.”]

“Then, that’s… that’s their decision to make─” Hangyul is interrupted by the sound of Yohan clearing his throat.

“I hope you’re not planning on going on some heroic rescue mission without us.”

“We’re in it to win it, hyung,” Eunsang gives him a toothy grin.

“Sounds like I don’t have much of a choice,” Hangyul turns back to Seungwoo on the phone, gratefulness evident in his voice despite his words.

[“Well, damn it, I knew I can’t stop you. Or them, for that matter. Just… don’t get yourself killed, Hangyul.”]

“You’re not getting all soft on me, hyung, are you?”

[“You’re a damn fine agent. We can’t afford to lose you. You really got the words out of me again, huh?”] He chuckles softly for a bit, before the seriousness takes over again. [“In the meantime, I’ll provide whatever assistance I can. Stay safe. You three.”] With a click, the call ends.

Yohan drives as fast as he can without drawing too much attention to their van.

\---

Twenty minutes later, they are parked on a lonely suburban road, minutes away from the Lee’s country estate. Eunsang hunches over his laptop as Hangyul and Yohan gear up with weapons and equipment. “Security’s tight, but not the best I’ve ever seen. Their camera system is hooked up to one big computerized network.” Eunsang huffs out a breath. “I should be able to get inside and shut things down.”

“You got the blueprints?” Hangyul asks him.

“Of course.” Eunsang beams, voice giddy. “Wanna know where the little boy’s room is?”

Hangyul only smiles, shaking his head as he ruffles their maknae’s hair. “I’m good, thanks.” Glancing up at one of the monitors, Hangyul takes in the exterior of the estate.

The mansion is as big as Hangyul had expected, if not bigger, almost painted white all over. The Victorian infrastructure stands amidst the yard, and even a huge fountain in front of it, in the middle of a maze of perfectly trimmed bushes and shrubs surrounding the house. Everything is old fashioned, elegant, screaming royalty. Getting inside is easier said than done.

Hangyul’s team had a plan for the original rendezvous point, but not this. They will be operating in unplanned territory now. “Hey, you two,” he faces the both of them, “are you sure you’re up for this? You’ve got me this far. You don’t need to risk your life for my mission.”

“I’m in,” Yohan answers right away. “You know I owe you.”

“You’ve repaid me a thousand times over since then, Yohan.”

“Then I guess this will be a thousand and one,” Yohan grins.

“I’m in, too,” Eunsang quips, his eyes turning crescents. “Someone needs to save your asses when you trip an alarm or something. But, Hangyul-hyung,” the teasing grin fades as Eunsang pauses contemplatively, “before we do this, I have a suggestion.”

Hangyul tilts his head, surprise at the sudden seriousness thrown at him. “Yeah?”

“Going in blind isn’t the best idea…” Eunsang continues. “We don’t know where Wooseok-hyung is or what situation he’s in. I could try to wire our monitors to their camera network and get us an inside view of what’s going on. It would give us a chance to see where Wooseok-hyung is. Get a better sense of the situation.”

Yohan turns to Hangyul, adding to Eunsang’s implication. “This isn’t my mission anymore, Hangyul. We both know that. What’s your call on this?”

Hangyul takes a deep breath, letting the air out past his mouth in quick finality. “We should do it.”

A few keystrokes later, images of rooms throughout the estate flicker on-screen. It doesn’t take long to locate Wooseok, and Hangyul swears under his breath as soon as he sees the state he is in.

Wooseok is on his knees, blood dripping from his forehead down his face and all over his clothes, in the middle of a dank, dark room. A few water bottles litter the room, two empty ones scattered on the floor and three presumably unopened ones stacked on one corner. There is also a basin full of water on one side, on the floor right under a faucet, half of a white towel dipping in it, and the only furniture an empty wooden chair that stands a few steps away from Wooseok. The walls aren’t even painted or furnished, a few cracks on the cement visible on camera despite the dim lighting.

Seungyoun towers over Wooseok, his gun pressed to his scalp. And they’re not alone. Jinhyuk is there, too, with a small attachment of armed guards. “You are a tremendous disappointment,” Jinhyuk says.

“Jinhyuk, I─”

“Shut up.”

“I told you he was too close to Hangyul,” Seungyoun quips. “It made him soft.” Jinhyuk says nothing, pulling out a large knife and tracing the edge along Wooseok’s neck. The blade leaves behind a crimson line. “Want me to kill him?” Seungyoun asks.

“Possibly.” Jinhyuk replies, chilly and cold. “ _Probably_.”

Hangyul can tell Wooseok is forcing his body to remain still, knowing one wrong move will cause the blade to slice into him deeper.

“But I’d like to hear him beg for his life, first.”

Wooseok’s adam’s apple bobs as he gulps, a drip of blood rushing out of his wounded neck as it subtly hits the blade. His face doesn’t show any signs of pain, however, but strong determination. “Let me prove my worth to you.”

“Your worth?” Jinhyuk tilts his head a bit, mocking him. “It’s a bit too late for that, don’t you think?” He slams the back of his knife into the side of Wooseok’s head, the latter luckily steadying himself back up before he can fully sprawl down the floor. A beat passes as Jinhyuk just watches him, and he speaks again with a seemingly changed mind. “ _Actually_ , you might be worth something to us.”

“Meaning?” Seungyoun inquires.

Jinhyuk simply answers, “Get the feed ready.”

Seungyoun still looks confused, though. “Why?”

Jinhyuk huffs, annoyed at Seungyoun not getting his point right away, but responds, nonetheless. “Because something tells me our buyers will be _very_ interested in an NIS agent. We’ll auction off his _death_.”

“I see. Make some money off of it, huh?” As soon as the words leave Seungyoun’s mouth, Jinhyuk hits Wooseok again, harder this time. So hard that it sends Wooseok crumpling unconscious on the floor.

Hangyul can barely hold his anger in, almost wishing to just enter the screen and get Wooseok out of that room. He needs to think right, to do it the right way. Busting there mindlessly would not work. He can’t recklessly put Wooseok’s life in any more danger than it already is in.

_Wait for me. I’ll get you out of there._

“We still need a plan.” Eunsang’s voice gets Hangyul’s attention. “How are we going to do this?”

“We need to be smart and make a plan.” Hangyul tries to calm himself down, his eyes finally leaving the screen to look at his team. “Eunsang will guide us in. We’ll do a strategic strike, using the heat sensors to find Wooseok-hyung and get him out. We’ll plant explosives on the way in, ready to detonate on our signal. On our way out, we’ll give the signal.” He makes a quick exhale. “With a little luck, the explosives will either catch Lee Jinhyuk or lead them outside to the NIS operatives Eunsang will call in.”

“If the timing is off even a little,” Eunsang voices out, “they’ll see you and put a bullet in your head. And Wooseok-hyung’s.”

“They brought him here, not in Seoul.” Hangyul reasons. “How long do you think they intend to keep him alive?”

“Fair enough.”

“With limited time we’ll have to rely on the old-fashioned method.” Hangyul adds.

“Breaking and entering.” Yohan comments, a confident smile playing on his features. “Nice. It feels good to get back to the basics.”

“Yohan, you’ll plant and detonate the explosives. Eunsang, you’ll keep us updated on security and do whatever you can from out here. I will get Wooseok out.”

“Roger,” Eunsang salutes.

“Don’t you love it when Hangyul takes control like that.” Yohan teases, earning a brief glare from the other.

“Shut up.” And his teammates really had the utter audacity to laugh.

“Just keep in mind we don’t know what condition he will be in. You might have to carry him out, Hangyul. And not the sexy kind,” Hangyul’s eyes might have popped out of his sockets with how hard he rolled them over Yohan’s words, “I mean drag dead weight.” Eunsang snickers again.

“You’re both acting like this is my first day on the job,” Hangyul complains, his glare not affecting his companions at least one bit.

“Well, you’ve never been in love with the mission’s target before, hyung.”

“I─” Hangyul sputters, “I’m not in love with him─”

“That’s why you’re about to risk your life doing something this stupid?” Eunsang tilts his head, a small knowing smile on both his and Yohan’s faces. “Yeah, _sure_ , hyung.”

They definitely don’t believe him.

Well, it’s not like he completely believes himself either.

“I care about Wooseok-hyung, yes, but I’m not─”

“Then why are you doing this?” Yohan asks before he could even finish.

Hangyul goes silent, subconsciously biting on his lower lip, not really knowing why he can’t bring himself _yet_ to admit it again out loud. “Two reasons,” he says instead. “One, it’s the right thing to do.” Hangyul holsters his gun. “Two, somebody has to take those _bastards_ down.”

And with his team at his back, he steps out of the van.

His feelings can fuck off for now.

\---

Getting through the Lee’s security system is a multi-step process, each part just as dangerous as the last. First step: the yard and the exterior alarm system.

“I can shut down the alarm for about one minute to get you inside.” Eunsang’s voice buzzes in the earpiece he gave Hangyul and Yohan. “Otherwise, it will reset and the guards will notice. I should be able to get back in after a few minutes, but if you time this wrong, you will alert everyone in the building.”

“Understood,” Hangyul responds. They ready themselves as Eunsang primes the code.

As soon as Eunsang gives the signal, the two agents tear across the backyard toward the only large window that seems capable of entry. The yard is fortunately not long, should only take about ten seconds to cross with their skills. They’re still good on time, Hangyul thinks.

But that’s when the attack dogs appear.

“Shit,” Hangyul hears Yohan, a few steps away from him, curse under his breath through the earpiece.

“We can’t risk getting slowed down by them.” Hangyul responds as quietly as possible, calling upon his hidden reserves of inner strength as he decides his next course of action. “Let’s outrun them.”

Desperation courses through him as he charges past the dogs, outpacing them and making it to the estate’s exterior window. Yohan, however, lags behind. One of the dogs lunges at him, its razor teeth grazing his calf.

“Damn it.” Yohan manages to kick the dog free. It yelps and falls behind, buying Yohan just enough time to catch up.

“You okay?” Hangyul checks.

“Just a graze. Come on, let’s hurry.”

They shimmy through the window and into what appears to be a laundry room. Eunsang’s voice crackles through the earpiece again. “Heads up. There are some cameras around the corner.”

Hangyul’s gaze fleets around the room. “I’ll shut them down.”

“You go ahead.” Yohan says to him. “I’ll start planting the first of the charges. I’ll catch up to you when I’m done.”

“Be careful.”

“Always am.” Yohan winks, and Hangyul just nods, slipping out of the room at Eunsang’s command.

Relying on a combination of his memory and Eunsang’s directions, Hangyul makes his way down the well-lit hall. “So far, so good.” He informs the other two.

Paintings of dour-looking people from a forgotten century line the white walls, their disapproving eyes following Hangyul’s progress down the hall. _Everything is really white, huh._ The walls are perfect, antiseptic white, and the air smells faintly of lavender. The place looks like it could be in a magazine, Hangyul thinks. It _certainly_ doesn’t look like a place where actual human beings live. He turns a corner into an abandoned foyer. _More white._

“According to the blueprint, the door beneath the stairs should lead to one of the living rooms,” he hears Eunsang speak again.

“ _One_ of them?” Hangyul genuinely wonders. “What could they possibly need with multiple living rooms?”

“Oh, that’s nothing. They have an _actual_ ballroom on the second floor.” Eunsang chuckles. “Anyway, through the living room is the kitchen. Looks like security is pretty tight on it. Though I’m having trouble getting the specifics here.”

“The Lees take their food _that_ seriously?”

“Not exactly, no. According to this, the kitchen has a passageway to the hostage room…”

“Is that where they’re keeping him?”

“I’d bet on it. You should be able to─ Crap, hyung, you’ve got to move!” Eunsang hurries him, but his warning comes a second too late. Hangyul can already feel the gun barrel against the back of his head.

“Are you looking for someone?” An unfamiliar voice asks him, presumably one of the guards that work under Jinhyuk.

 _Shit._ If this guy radios for help, Hangyul thinks as he stands still, that could be their end _._ He needs to take the guy out before he fires. And he definitely should because it’s not like he still has a choice. It’s all or nothing. The guard is standing close, which also gives him an advantage.

Hangyul, though, lowers his gun to the floor. “We could do this the nice way…” He proposes cautiously, but the guard simply laughs in response. “…Or not.” Hangyul kicks back as soon as the words leave his mouth, ducking and catching the guard in the shins. His opponent pitches forward with a yelp of pain and surprise.

Hangyul presses his advantage, his hands going for his gun as his elbow smashes into the guard’s nose. The guard yells out, almost a growl, then a dives for Hangyul, hitting him square in the midsection. Both of them slam hard into the wall, Hangyul’s breath leaving him at the impact.

He doesn’t have time for this.

Hangyul grabs the guy by the neck, swinging him around and slamming him to the ground. Hangyul has the advantage, indeed, but he knows it won’t last long. With that in mind, he aims his gun to the guard’s forehead and fires. The suppressor muffles most of the sound, so Jinhyuk’s other minions must not have heard it yet, but as the guard slides to the ground, Hangyul takes a cursory look around all the same.

Just in time to see Yohan reappear. “Sure took your time.”

“Sorry.” Yohan says, skipping over the body lying motionless on the floor. “Got here as quick as I could. That’s probably a smart move, by the way, finishing the guy off.”

“Can’t risk taking any chances on this mission.”

Yohan just nods, agreeing to his sentiment. “I’ll plant the next explosive. You keep moving, Hangyul.”

Hangyul is about two steps into the living room when he comes face-to-face with a security scanner outside the kitchen door. Yohan joins him moments later, swearing when he sees the scanner.

“Eunsang-ah, it looks like they’ve got a fingerprint scanner here.”

“Damn. I can’t beat that from here…”

“It’s probably linked to their alarm system, too.” Yohan’s brows furrow further. “If we shoot it, our cover’s blown.”

“Oh! Don’t suppose you have any spare thumbs lying around?” Eunsang suggests.

Hangyul’s eyes trail through the open doorway to the guard’s body in the foyer. “I think… I have an idea.” He nods at Yohan, and the older grins,

“I like the way you think.”

“Are you guys doing what I think you’re doing?” Eunsang asks, but the two are already too busy dragging the dead guard over to bother answering. Hangyul hears Eunsang’s fake-gagging noises into the earpiece as he props the body up against the door and presses the thumb to the scanner.

 _Come on. Work,_ Hangyul prays.

A breath of relief exits him as the panel beeps and the door unlocks. “Now get out of here, Hangyul,” he hears Yohan say. “We can’t waste any more time. I’ll finish setting up.”

Hangyul immediately finds himself stepping into the kitchen, gun drawn and at the ready. “All right, Eunsang-ah. Where’s the passageway?”

“Should be to your left, hyung.”

Sure enough, what looks like a cellar door is neatly located in one corner of the kitchen. Through the intercom, Hangyul hears Yohan give a hushed whisper, “Crap. More guys are coming. You head down that passageway fast! I’m going to double back, try to hide this guy before they figure out what’s happening.”

“Okay, okay.” Hangyul whispers back. “Be careful.”

“Right back at you.” Yohan replies, and Hangyul finds himself the next moment peering through the cellar door and down the steep staircase. In the darkness, Hangyul can just barely make out two guards leaning against the wall, chatting with one another.

“Shit,” Hangyul mutters under his breath. “This place is swarming with guards.”

“Hangyul-hyung, what are you doing?” Eunsang panics. “Those guards Yohan-hyung was talking about are getting close! You have to move now!”

Sure, he has to, but Hangyul also knows it is too dangerous if he just goes in. No, no, he can’t be that reckless. He can’t save Wooseok if he dies. Surely, there has to be some… way, right? “Eunsang-ah, I need a diversion.”

“Huh… I’ll see what I can do, hyung.”

Hangyul can already hear the footsteps getting closer. “Any day now, Eunsang-ah…”

“I’m going as fast as I can!” Then suddenly, an alarm goes off on the far end of the house. “Tripped the smoke alarm.” A proud, happy lilt lingers on their maknae’s voice. “Hopefully they’ll attribute it to a wiring mishap… You may want to hide, though, Hangyul-hyung.”

Hangyul dives behind the counter, ducking down just in time for the guards from down the stairwell to make it into the kitchen. They take a quick look around, then race off in the direction of the alarm. Hangyul waits for a few more moments, but not too much, until he’s sure they’re gone. _That was too close,_ Hangyul thinks to himself as he reemerges.

Nevertheless, he doesn’t have time to appreciate his good fortune. He’s already off then, making his way down the passage. Hopefully now, Hangyul really hopes, nobody will know he is coming down. He will need every advantage he can get to pull this rescue mission off.

“Nice going, Eunsang-ah.” Yohan compliments through the intercom.

“I do my best!”

Hangyul barely hears the exchange, really. All of his concentration, all of the adrenaline rushing through him, goes into heading down the stairs and reaching Wooseok.

Finally, he reaches an open room. The same one he saw in the surveillance monitor moments earlier.

And there he is.

Wooseok sits off to the side, tied to the wooden chair now. His head is bowed, and blood mats his hair, not even so much as noticing the younger’s presence as he takes a step inside. Even if he did, he doesn’t show any signs of it. Hangyul figures he is still unconscious, and for a second, his heart unfolds as he exhales a heavy breath he didn't know he was holding.

Everything in him screams to rush to Wooseok’s side in the speed of lightning. But as much as seeing Wooseok in this condition pains him, Hangyul knows better than to tear off into an empty room. He hasn’t run into Jinhyuk, or Seungyoun, yet, which means that they’re either hiding… or they’re close.

Either way, Hangyul is ready for them.

Hangyul swivels around just in time to dodge a swing from someone ─ Seungyoun ─ who emerges from the stairwell like a raging bull.

“Big mistake coming back,” Seungyoun grits out, one hand curled into a fist Hangyul just narrowly dodged. The other has a handgun in a death grip. It’s honestly a good thing Hangyul didn’t just blunder in, or he might’ve had his head taken off already.

But enough of that. It’s time to kick this guy’s ass once and for all. Seungyoun might be bigger than he is, but Hangyul is confident in his speed. More importantly, he knows how to use his weight against the taller man.

Seungyoun swings at him again, but Hangyul catches his shoulder, allowing the weight of his own attack to carry him. With one deft motion, Hangyul throws the taller man over his shoulder, slamming him to the ground. Hangyul is about to knock him out with another blow, almost finishing the fight, but a newcomer enters the stairwell. _Damn it._ Another one of Jinhyuk’s mercenaries. This one is brandishing a knife, slashing at him wildly.

A little _too wild_ , in fact…

Hangyul can't help the smirk that tugs at the corner of his mouth as he grabs the minion’s arm so easily, bending it back with a sharp crack. He clutches a fistful of hair and slams the head against the wall, the now-unconscious body crumpling to the ground.

He turns his back just in time to see Seungyoun hoisting himself up to his feet. The older man raises his gun to fire, but he immediately knocks the firearm from his hand, sending it skittering across the floor. Hangyul takes advantage of the other’s moment of uncertainty to lay him out flat with another flooring punch. Right where Hangyul wants him. But then, a command rings through the chamber, stopping Hangyul mid-strike.

“That’s just about enough.”

Hangyul tenses, his back still turned at the new visitor. _What─_

Hangyul turns to see the source of the velvety, horrifyingly familiar voice, and _god_ , does he not want to believe his eyes. “W-What is going on?”

“What do you think?”

If the man’s words didn’t give his real identity right away, the cold look in his eyes surely did. But, no… _Him?_ The thought is too ridiculous. It can’t be. _It can’t be─_

“Drop the rest of your weapons or I’ll shoot your dear Wooseok in the head.” A soft, _too soft,_ smile at his lips as he looks at Hangyul. A handgun held confidently in his grip aimed directly at Wooseok’s head.

And it’s too far away for Hangyul to reach in time.

It’s not like Hangyul could even move.

He didn’t like this one bit, how he remained still and unmoving and probably trembling, his mind reeling with all the confused thoughts and anger bubbling up in his chest so fast it’s dizzying. He can’t even bring himself to believe this. Is his mind fooling him right now? It’s not like he’s the one who have had his head banged to the fucking wall earlier─

“I said move! Or do you really want me to shoot him instead?!”

_No, not again, no, no─_

“G-Gyul…” Wooseok choked out, broken cry reaching his ears and that snaps something inside of Hangyul. He looks at Wooseok’s bloody face and ruined state, barely stirring awake.

_Wooseok, Wooseok, Wooseok._

Pure, utter madness. Hangyul feels like he is going insane. Everything about this is driving him insane.

Nobody else in the room makes a move as Hangyul slowly puts his gun down, actively fighting back the tremble in his hands. He glares as he straightens up, waiting, but it isn't enough to convey what he is feeling. Everything seems to be in turmoil, in utter chaos, and even those words are not enough.

“The other one, too.” _Fuck._ Hangyul simply obeys again, slipping a second gun out of the hidden holster under his vest and setting it on the floor. He could fight his way out barefisted anyway... right? Even with Wooseok in that state? He should be able to. Or else their lives will end here.

A smug grin lights up the man’s eyes. “You’ve wasted a lot of my resources… You’d better be worth it.” He turns to Wooseok, “Is he?”

“Fuck─” Wooseok coughs up blood, the red fluid adding to the dried stains on his lips down to his chin. “Go to hell!” The slur in Wooseok’s voice is evident, and that isn’t a good sign. Head injuries are definitely bad news.

Wooseok looks ready _to_ _kill_ though, and Hangyul will need that spirit to get him out of here.

The man just snickers. “Tough talk from a man who only has seconds to live.”

“I was…” Wooseok can barely get a sentence out without panting for breath. “…was right not to trust you…”

“I’m right fucking here.” Hangyul nearly growls, stealing the man’s attention away from Wooseok. “You only want me, leave him alone.”

“That’s sweet,” he coos, “but your boyfriend has become more of a problem than anticipated.” He shakes his head, clicking his tongue to emphasize his words. “On top of everything else, he appears to be a liar. And lying isn’t something _my_ organization looks kindly upon.”

“I…” Wooseok pants softly, and Hangyul can see another drip of blood forming from the wound at his neck as he gulps, passing over the dried ones. The look in his eyes now, though, isn’t something Hangyul thinks he likes. “I am sure we… can work something out…”

Hangyul can barely keep his sanity intact at the sight.

“Aw, isn’t that _cute_?” He smiles, fucking smiles, and it would look actually fond if Hangyul doesn’t know any better. Well─ he doesn’t before, but now, he wished he didn’t. The radiant smile soon disappears in a blink of an eye just as fast as when it appeared, and it leaves Hangyul’s mind spinning. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t negotiate with dead men.”

“Ooh, cool words, _Eunsang-ah_.” Seungyoun coos as he takes his place by the younger’s side, ruffling his hair. Hangyul had honestly nearly forgotten about him.

“Shut up.” Eunsang swats his hand away, his cold eyes and unimpressed face not giving away anything. But as he catches sight of Wooseok and Hangyul again, he smiles. _S_ _o_ , _so, sickeningly_ sweet _._ “Now, let’s get to it, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scream at me if u want to i guess?? who among you have guessed it was eunsang and seungyoun 👀


End file.
